Healed Marriage Testimony Jensen's

Bob & Conchita Jensen Testimony After hearing from so many of our standers that Bob and Conchita was their favorite testimony tape of a restored marriage, I decided that I would like to make a brochure from the tape. I called Conchita to ask permission to write their story, and she very graciously gave it. I know many of you will say, "Thats me," as you read their story. We pray this brochure will be a blessing to you. Bob begins their testimony. I want to say that the reason were here to tell our story is not that weve done anything special. Its just that without his grace and his mercy in my life, I wouldnt be sitting here. Our prayer is, "What you have done in us, somehow use these imperfect vessels to reach out and touch other peoples lives." We are a healed marriage and we give all the glory to God. Our testimony is different than most in that I not only left my wife and divorced her, I got into adultery and married somebody else. I then divorced again and remarried Conchi. She prefers to use the word legal adultery rather than marriage, because it was never recognized in Gods eyes. Conchi was standing on the covenant she made at our marriage. Conchi tells her story. I was born in Madrid, Spain, and was raised in the church all my life. I really felt I was a Christian. Bob was in the Air Force there when we met and got married in 1965. For years, we felt we really had a good marriage, and we did. We never had strife in our marriage, and our children grew up in a very peaceful home. We were very active in our church and everyone said, "Bob and Conchita have a perfect marriage." But sometimes I felt empty. I said, "God, what is it? I have a wonderful husband, two children, a dog, a fence, and a nice home. What is going on?" I would tell myself that I should be grateful that my husband doesnt drink, run around, etc. Bob was having problems too, but we didnt confide in each other. Every time a marriage falls apart, I believe it is because of Satans plan to destroy the home. But God uses what Satan intends for harm for our good. I thought I was a Christian, but the night Bob left me, a friend brought me a booklet about marriage healing, and I accepted the Lord as my personal Savior. I instantly had a supernatural peace that never left. I had no family in this country to give me support; I had no job, and I was very dependent upon my husband in every area of my life. I had a phobia. I was scared to death to drive, and Bob had to drive me everyplace (God healed me of that, Praise the Lord). Now I had no options; I had to trust God and no one else. When Bob came back home to check on me three days later, he expected me to be a wreck, but I answered the door with "Oh Hi, Honey, how are you doing? He said to himself, "What is going on here?" Bob wasnt always able to pay child support, and I decided that if I could trust Jesus for the healing of my marriage, I could trust him for my finances. God found a job for me, and I found three Christian couples who became very close friends. Bob was involved with someone else, but he came back home six months after he left and stayed for a year. It was quite an adjustment for him. I was saved and did not cling to him like I did before. I had my self-worth in Christ. All my insecurities were gone. Bob had always told me to become more independent and not to be so clinging to him. When this actually happened he became jealous of God. Since we had been married for fifteen years and his wife changed from dependent to independent, it was really hard for Bob to understand. Plus . . . I made some boo-boos. It isnt a good idea to read the Bible when youre in bed with your husband, and he is unsaved. Its also not a good idea to listen to 700 Club when hes home, but I did. You may be on fire for the Lord, but dont flaunt it before your unsaved husband. This built a wall between us. When he left the second time and filed for divorce, the Lord said, "let go, and let me do it my way." So I said, "Whatever it takes, Lord, whatever it takes." When you pray that prayer, be ready. You cannot hang on to your nice house, your nice car, and getting your marriage healed the way you want it. Its going to be done Gods way, and He may have to do a work in your own life. Do not focus on the sins of your partner because when you do that, you become self-righteous. Just focus on Christ. I stood for my marriage for five and a half years while God did a work in MY life. Bob continues. Now for my side of the story. I had always gone to church, and I really felt I knew a lot about who Jesus was. After fifteen years of a model marriage, it was very evident to me that there was a big hole within me. I searched for what was open and available to me in the world. My intentions were good because I wanted to create a better life for my wife and children. I bought into the lie that if I could only have this or that, things would be much better. All of a sudden, I fell into a trap. I could blame others, but I made the choice to commit adultery. I went out and decided there was something a little bit better out there and left Conchi. Romans 8:28 tells us that God works everything for our good and He used my mistakes. After being home for a year, I still wasnt saved, and that emptiness was still there. As a Christmas present, I told her I was leaving her and getting a divorce . . . and I did. I got involved with a neighbor lady, and to make matters worse, I took my daughter with me and lived with this woman for a year. But I couldnt stay away from Conchi. I would come back home every few days, or once a week with the excuse, "I came to see the children." I did have a good relationship with them. My daughter was with me; our son was with her. But in truth, I came home to see Conchi. I had to psyche myself up to be disagreeable. But, she would irk me to no end. She always greeted me with a smile and would always let me know she loved me and would encourage me. I finally reached the point where my guilt was almost unbearable. I just knew that my sin was too much for Conchi to ever be able to forgive. I knew our marriage could never work out the way I wanted it to work out. One day she blew me away. I came by to see the children, and she said she had to ask my forgiveness. She told me she had had me up on a pedestal and that it wasnt fair to me. She told me she had made mistakes and she had spiritual pride and a lot of other things. That really did something to me, and something began working in my mind. I went home and began to throw myself into my work. I decided that it was about time for me to go find someone else since I had broken up with my neighbor, and so I did. She happened to be almost young enough to be my daughter. Conchita would never let me say I "married" this woman. She would always say I legalized my adultery in the eyes of the world, but not in the eyes of God. In the midst of this adulterous marriage, I got saved. But, I was helpless. By the way, that relationship began to fall apart before the honeymoon was over. In desperation, I gave my heart to Christ one Sunday morning. Everything went downhill from there. I was so hungry for God. I would go to every Bible study I could find and ask about Gods word. But, I would almost inevitably go to Conchi. I would call her on the phone when the alien wasnt home. I would call during work and ask her questions about God's Word. She always told me the uncompromising truth. She still believed our marriage would be healed but I thought, after all Im saved now, God loves me too and Im in another marriage. This relationship was in trouble and I began standing for my "marriage." My daughter told Conchi that our church was praying for our marriage. Conchi said "Praise the Lord, Dad only has one marriage in the eyes of God." As I was reading 1 Corinthians 7:20, my eyes fell on the verse that says that each one should remain in the situation hes in when God calls him. I remember throwing my Bible on the bed and jumping up and down and shouting, "Hallelujah, I knew it, I knew it!! Im right where God wants me to be." That shows you that Satan will even use the Scriptures to deceive us. The scripture wasnt talking about marriages there. God would never tell you if youre in adultery, stay there. Conchi shares that as she stood for her marriage, probably 90% of the people she knew had no idea what she was doing! And, they were Christians. They would say, "Poor Conchi, some day she will wake up. She is sure out in left field." Even my own pastor had no idea what I was doing. He thought one day I would wake up to reality. But be careful how you share your stand. Pray for others to have revelation in the area of standing. Dont hit them over the head with your stand. Some people stand for six months, some a year, some six years, some more. It is important to establish at the beginning of your stand that you have no other option. If you dont you will get discouraged and quit. Some standers choose not to allow God to do a work in them. They just want God to do a work in their mate. This is not a healthy stand, and I believe there will be marriages God wants to heal but because of the attitude of the stander, they wont be healed. The important thing is that we have to be sold out to Jesus. Jesus wants our marriage healed more than we do. You have to choose to forgive your mate. Sometimes I would lock myself in my room and tell the Lord, "Im not coming out until I forgive Bob." About four months before Bob left the other woman, I had given him some material about healed marriages, thinking that he would apply it to our marriage. Bob used this same material to stand for his adulterous marriage. That was a dirty trick Satan pulled on me. He whispered to me that I might as well give up. Bob was a Christian now, standing for his marriage, and I was the fool. I was driving the car, and I jammed on the brakes, stopped the car, and yelled at Satan, "I am a spiritual bull-dog. I have the covenant of my marriage in my teeth, and I will never let go till death do us part." I felt Satan leave. There were a lot of ups and downs as Conchis and my marriage was restored. December 1, 1984, I received an indication from my alien wife that she wanted our marriage to work. She had moved to another state, so I packed up everything and left to be with her. Im not proud of what I did. I was willing to leave my children, my church, my home, EVERYTHING, to follow her. I had my lifes belongings in a trailer. I was on such a high. I was on my way to reconcile with the alien. Gods hand had to be in this. It took me eight or nine hours to get to her home. But as soon as I hit her town, everything began to unravel. I find it difficult to even talk about it now. For thirty days, I went through the closest thing to Hell that I have ever experienced in my life. Everything I had ever done to Conchi, I had done to me. I was stripped of everything, my finances, my job, my health. I lost forty pounds in thirty days. I couldnt eat; I couldnt sleep. Literally, I fell apart. On New Years Eve 1984, I was alone in the house. I was able to talk the doctor into giving me some sleeping pills. Im a fighter; Ive always been a fighter, so this was so unlike me, but I was whipped. During the last thirty days, I had been spending most of my time on my knees, but that New Years Eve night, I grabbed a glass of water and those pills. I was standing in the kitchen, and all the lights were out. I looked up and said, "God if youre real, Youre going to have to do something NOW." About that time, I felt something hit the back of my knees, and I collapsed on the kitchen floor. I knew somebody hit me, yet I was alone in that house. The pills went one direction, the glass of water the other, and as I hit the floor I heard God speak to me. "Bob, its time to go home." That was all I heard God say, and I dont have any idea how long I lay on that floor and bawled. The rest of the night I was oblivious to everything except my time with the Lord. The next day I called Conchi and said, "Its all over." She didnt have the slightest idea what I was talking about. I explained to her the adulterous situation was over, and I was leaving. I had no money; I had no place to go; I had no job; and I didnt even have my health. I filed all the necessary papers to get a divorce, and in three days I was pulling into my buddys yard at 10 oclock at night. I went right over to Conchis, and the first thing I said to her was, "I want you to know something, I dont want to be here." I was being totally honest with her. I let her know I didnt WANT to be there, but I HAD to be there. She was very loving and and kind to me. I was able to live with some good Christian friends. For eight months, Conchi and I were good friends and had beautiful fellowship. We talked about the Word. All I wanted at that point was my relationship with my Lord. One day I was out at the lake walking down to the dock when I heard the voice of God again. His voice was loud and clear. "I want you to go and ask Conchi to marry you." I stopped dead in my tracks. I literally looked up at God and said, "God, you have got to be joking! How can you ask me to marry Conchi when I dont have any physical feelings for her whatsoever? I love her, and I love the fellowship that we have, and she is the mother of my children, and she is very important and dear to me, but I dont feel anything for her. God asked me, "Have you not been walking in obedience, trusting me up to now? Do what I say, and I will restore the feelings." Ill tell you something, asking Conchi to marry me was one of the hardest things I ever did. We had nothing. I went from making $40,000 one year to $100 a week for three months of the next year. That was part of my stripping. God knew that part of my life had to go. The Lord supplied absolutely everything, and twenty years, almost to the day, after our first marriage, Conchi and I renewed our vows. I cried many, many times after I came back home. I told Conchi, "I know God has forgiven me, and I know you have forgiven me. But I still have to face the consequences of what I did." One consequence was that our children were really hurt emotionally by what I did. I want everybody to understand this. When you see the husband or wife doing their thing out in the world, believe what the Word of God says, not what you see. I want to tell you from my own experience, they are in hell. They dont realize it, but they are in hell, and they are hurting, and they are lost, and they are confused. I know how much of a jerk I was, better than anybody. I could portray anything on the outside to whomever, but deep inside, all the time, there was that little ember that said, "This is wrong." Had Conchi reacted to her flesh and chewed me out when I deserved it, it would have been a lot worse. I can emphatically say that it was her persistent commitment that moved me more than anything else. And her prayers . . . I cant tell you how much I could feel her prayers for me. I always knew when she was praying. I love my wife now more than I have ever loved her. I remarried Conchi out of obedience to God, but God was true to His promise, and He has restored my feelings beyond my wildest dream. According to 1 John 5:14, 15, the prayers you pray do not go unanswered, and if they are according to Gods will, we know we have what we have asked. There is only one alternative for your mate if you keep praying. Bob and Conchita Jensen Used with Permission