Les immediately saw the change in Cindy and knew that what she had experienced was real; Les received Jesus as his personal Savior on November 10, 1985 and was baptized in the Holy Spirit in February, 1986. Les & Cindy were water baptized together on December 8, 1985. Cathy, at five years of age, accepted Jesus in September of 1985 and Lathan, at the age of four, accepted Jesus in October of 1987. The Lord IMMEDIATELY started working in their family by drawing them more and more out of the world and trying to renew their minds! One of the first "major" things that God required out of them was to homeschool their children. So, in September of 1986, being the first in their school district, they started homeschooling. Cathy has since graduated in June of 1998 and Lathan will in June of 2001. THEY WERE ONE HAPPY FAMILY! THEY WERE ATTENDING CHURCH FAITHFULLY TOGETHER AND IT SEEMED THAT LIFE COULD NEVER BE BETTER! Members of Les' family also started building homes. Les felt that it was only right that he help them, since they had so graciously, helped to build theirs. (Remember, Les wasn't saved when building their house.) So, he found himself NOT attending church...then not praying...then...not in the Word. Meanwhile, Cindy had become president and founder of the DeKalb County American Family Association and was giving speeches at different churches around the county as to the dangers of pornography and THE DESTRUCTION TO FAMILIES THAT IT CAUSES! (ARE YOU SEEING YET, HOW SLY THE DEVIL WORKS?...Weakening and isolating Les, and Cindy out trying to save the world from porn while her family is crumbling!) Cindy and the kids continued to attend church "every time the church doors were open" and busied themselves with the "things of the Lord", while, Les, on the other hand, was working fulltime in the factory and fulltime all weekend away from Cindy and the kids. Without ever even realizing it, there had become a BREACH between them; they were living in two different worlds with different priorities! Cindy felt that Les just "didn't get it" with spiritual things, and Les thought that there must be someone out there who needed him. Les found himself being razzed by guys at work about his wife being against pornography. With Les no longer being in the Word or in church, he found himself not wanting the things of God any more. He was embarrassed by Cindy's "spirituality" and wanted to disassociate himself with her, with righteousness and with God! THE VALLEY Les began the testimony. I was the one who took off. We were married in 1979 and have two kids. Cindy and I got saved in 1985, and you would think that all of our problems would be over, and we would have a fine Christian marriage. Well, in 1990, I got other ideas and decided that I didn't want to be married anymore or have any responsibility for my kids. I didn't think that I loved Cindy, and I told her that I wanted a divorce. Cindy has always been very physical in our relationship, but I didn't want Cindy anymore. She was busy as the president of the American Family Association in our county. She was always busy doing something or going someplace. I told myself that Cindy didn't need me, and that I needed someone who did. At the place where I worked, there was a woman who seemed to be helpless and needed someone to take care of her. That's how I got started on the road to adultery. It's true what Les just said. When I got saved in 1985, I poured myself into working for the Kingdom of God. I was out there "working for the Lord", homeschooling our kids... on the weekends, I was off with Operation Rescue, or at a speaking engagement for A.F.A., or "busy" in the church. As far as I knew, we had a wonderful marriage. We didn't argue, we didn't fight, and I trusted Les. When we first started through the valley, people would ask me, "Is there someone else?" I would answer adamantly, "NO WAY!! You don't know my husband. There's NO WAY that Les would do that. He's NOT like that!!" I knew, that I knew, that I knew, that there was NOT someone else. On May 30, 1990, Les came home, crawled into bed and said, "I WANT A DIVORCE!" I looked into his eyes and saw such hatred that I knew he wasn't kidding. He did not look like my Les. The valley lasted for about a year and a half, and he didn't look like my Les during that entire time. His eyes were dark. He got into wearing designer clothing. He started working out and lost a lot of weight. He got a different hairstyle. He became a person that I didn't even know. He told me - what will sound familiar to thousands of women who have heard these same words from their husbands - "I DON'T LOVE YOU; I HAVE NEVER LOVED YOU; WE WERE TOO YOUNG WHEN WE GOT MARRIED; WE WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED." I asked him, "What about the kids?" His answer was cold, hard, and uncaring; "YOU SHELTER THEM TOO MUCH!! KIDS ALL OVER THE WORLD GO THROUGH THIS AND HANDLE IT. OURS WILL TOO!!" I went upstairs, got on the phone and called my mom, my sisters and my pastor and asked for prayer. I asked them to pray that God would give me the gift of faith to believe for my marriage. AND GOD DID!!! From that time on, God would encourage me by saying to me, "I AM THE GOD OF ALL FLESH, IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR ME? MY ARM IS NOT TOO SHORT OR MY EAR DEAF THAT I DO NOT HEAR!" I remember Him asking me, "ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE THE WORDS OF A MERE MAN, OR THE WORD OF ALMIGHTY GOD!!!" WE are the ones who limit God! That day, May 30, 1990, I resigned from everything. The minute I knew Les was serious, NOTHING was important to me but my marriage. God burned into me, in a matter of seconds, what my priorities were: my husband and my children! He showed me that as I served my husband, I was serving Jesus Christ. As I loved my husband, I was loving Jesus Christ because Les is my lord here on this earth. God was showing me that although it looked like Les was the one in the sin right now, He had JUST as much work to do in ME! I didn't know whether the walk would take ten months or ten years, or whether there would be a "divorce" or not. I just knew that GOD WOULD BE FAITHFUL!!! "Now it seems ridiculous," Les continues, "but even when I was committing adultery, I still called myself a Christian. I even prayed, 'Lord if this is not Your will, make something happen to make the "strange woman" leave.' She didn't leave, so I said, 'Hey, this is what I am going to do, since it must be okay with God.'" Cindy and I live out in the country on land that we bought from her mom and dad, who live next door. At first, I moved in with my brother, then I made Cindy and the kids leave our home and I moved into it with the strange woman. I told Cindy to get everything out of the house because anything left was going to get burned! I was starting a "new" life, WITHOUT Cindy, the kids, or "our" stuff. They moved in with Cindy's parents and could look out the kitchen window and see me with the strange woman in the yard. I didn't know why I felt uncomfortable in my own home, until I found out later that Cindy had anointed our house, land and the four corners of our property and would walk, at night in her parent's lane, praying. The strange woman would get bored with me and feel uncomfortable in my home and take off. In fact, she left me three times, and three times I kicked my wife and children out of our home. All it took was one phone call from her, after she would leave, to get me back on her hook. She was like a magnet which I couldn't resist. We would get back together, and I would tell Cindy to get out of the house. As all these things were happening with Les, I cried out to the Lord. I didn't know anything about "standing" for a marriage. The Word became more alive to me than ever before. The Lord would tell me, throughout the valley, things that were going to happen before they even did. He told me, in Isaiah 57:18&19, that HE WOULD HEAL LES. The day that I received the divorce papers was one of the hardest days of the valley. Throughout the valley, if I was not in the Word, if I did not have praise music - that was the WORD OF GOD - if I did not have the presence of God surrounding me, it was like my heart was being put on hot coals or fire, and I couldn't pull it away. There was a real, physical pain, and IT HURT!! The moment I would get back into the presence of God, it was like soothing oil or ointment being poured over me. I could feel HIS HEALING POWER!!! I had to come into the presence of God EVERY day and get rid of unforgiveness. I couldn't afford to harbor anger and let it pile up. Each day I had to allow the POWER OF FORGIVENESS in my life. I would cry out to the Lord and say, "I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM!" But, because of God's healing power, I would then find myself crying out, "I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM!" God explained to me how I needed to watch my words. I needed to be kind and gentle. When I would see Les, I was not to harp; I was not to manipulate. This was GOD'S BATTLE, and I was to back off, intercede and trust God to do the work in my husband. While He was doing a work in my husband, He was going to do a work in ME! He wanted to teach me to hear His voice and to really learn to TRUST Him as my Sovereign, Heavenly Father. I knew that God was telling me that Les and I were truly one flesh. One flesh cannot go in two directions at the same time! He told me to STAND, WATCH, and WAIT to see HIM draw Les back. I knew that if the divorce went through - in the natural realm - that God was telling me that those "papers" meant NOTHING! What GOD joined together would STAY together, even if it didn't LOOK like it! My sister-in-law gave me a pamphlet, that she came across, entitled "Through The Valley" by Dana & Val Hartong. When I read it, I knew I wasn't loony. I knew I wasn't crazy. I realized that I wasn't alone, and I called and talked to Val. She encouraged me because God had spoken to my heart a lot of the same Scriptures that were in their pamphlet. During this time of the valley, Les appeared to be "having a great time". He didn't need me, or want me. He acted as though he thought he could have any woman in the world that he wanted. He was a macho acting, hard, mean, man. But from the beginning of the valley, the Lord told me, DON'T GO BY WHAT YOU SEE WITH YOUR EYES OR BY WHAT YOU HEAR WITH YOUR EARS!" Well, God gave me a vision of what was really going on with Les. What the Lord showed me was Les, like a little child, huddled up in a hump in a corner, bound with chains, whimpering and crying, with powers of darkness surrounding him and taunting him. He was hurting and needed help; HE NEEDED SET FREE!! By our human, natural eyesight, Les was a man who didn't need anybody; a man who could take care of himself and who appeared to finally KNOW what he wanted out of life. But GOD said otherwise!! Like Les said, the kids and I were kicked out of our home three different times. I have had wonderful Christian people, and even pastors, tell me that, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" "THREE TIMES OF BEING KICKED OUT OF YOUR HOME IS ENOUGH!" "YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH BEING TREATED LIKE THAT!" "GOD HAS SOMEONE BETTER FOR YOU!" "YOU DESERVE BETTER!" "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT LES BACK?" But what God said was, "Cindy, how many times will I forgive YOU? Do I set a limit - three times and you're out? How far was I willing to go, and how much was I willing to do for YOU?" The Lord asked me...if I wasn't willing to intercede and fight spiritual warfare for Les, then who would? It was as if Les had gotten himself ensnared in a spider's web - and we know that once a victim is caught in one it cannot free itself, but someone could CUT it free! The Lord taught me that intercessory prayer and standing in the authority of Jesus and on the Word of God was what was going to cut Les free from the snare that he was tangled in! God showed me that what the enemy meant for harm, God would use for good. - He's in the salvaging business! - PRAISE GOD! In the natural realm, Les' and my marriage looked totally, hopelessly, destroyed. As I would try to share with others what was really going on and what God was doing, I could see the look in their eyes saying..."Poor Cindy, she just can't face reality! Doesn't she know how much Les doesn't want her anymore? Can't she see how happy Les is now? Doesn't she see how she is building up false hopes in the kids by not facing the truth? Doesn't she realize how arrogant she sounds? She needs to just let go and get on with her life!" But God said that we were on the road of CONSTRUCTION and NOT the road of destruction! When a new, beautifully, smooth, paved highway is constructed, it first went through a time of appearing destroyed. It had to go through that phase to become the beautifully, completed road that now thousands are able to travel upon. We, as Christians, walk by FAITH not by sight, and God was teaching me this firsthand! I remember having to keep the Word of God - which is our shield and buckler - in front of me at all times because the enemy would come in and try to attack me with doubt. I would feel like I was sinking in a hopeless pit and the pain would become almost unbearable until I would SPEAK FORTH WHAT GOD HAD TOLD ME!!! His Word is what got me - us - through!!! God said, "Cindy, if Les was sick and delirious in the hospital and you and the kids went to see him, and he yelled at you, 'GET OUT, I DON'T NEED YOU, I DON'T LOVE YOU, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN,' would you believe him? Would you take the kids and leave and never go back again? No, you would understand that, under the condition that he was in, he didn't know what he was saying. Now he is SPIRITUALLY sick and you are fighting for his ETERNAL healing, and his ETERNAL salvation is first and foremost. Even if you didn't have My promises for marriage, would you still intercede and lay your life down, until he comes back to Me? Are you willing to do that to save his soul from eternal hell?" It wasn't easy; I knew that there wasn't anything more important than to obey what the Father was asking of me. But it was hard; and yet He made it possible because He was my biggest cheerleader! THANK YOU, JESUS!!! My mission was to be willing to serve Jesus NO MATTER WHAT and to fight spiritual warfare for Les' salvation. GOD had the PLAN. HE had the STRATEGY. It was no longer a battle for a marriage as much as it was for a husband's soul! I treated Cindy like dirt during the valley and she would turn the other cheek. I guess it was greed, but I thought that if I got rid of Cindy and the kids, I would have more money. BUT GOD HAD OTHER THINGS IN MIND! Every time that I thought that I would have some money for the strange woman and myself, something would happen! I wrecked my brother's motorcycle, my well went out, my lawnmower's motor blew up. When Cindy found out that I had NO FOOD in the house, and had been eating only plain spaghetti noodles, she brought me some meatloaves and cheesecake. Cindy loved me even though I treated her like dirt. At one point, during the valley, I remember telling Cindy that I didn't know what REAL love was. I had quit attending church and had reached a point where I didn't want anything to do with God. But God will reach down where we are. God used a secular movie to show me that NOBODY would love me like Cindy; NOBODY can raise our kids like Cindy and I, and we needed to be together as a family. I wouldn't go to God, so He came to me! Cindy continued: During my valley experience, a friend sent me an excerpt from a book that she was reading. God used it to encourage me daily, along with His Word. As I would read, "Look not back. Keep thy face toward the sunrise, for He shall rise fresh daily in thy soul with healing in His wings," it was as if God was pouring cool, healing oil over my spirit. I knew God had a work to do in MY life and He was telling me that the sooner I learned what He was trying to teach me, the sooner it would be over and Les would be healed. I had to WAIT, TRUST and BELIEVE and NOT look at what I saw with my eyes, or heard with my ears. I was to look through the Spirit's eyes, and stand on God's Word and see the VICTORY. I learned that what PEOPLE thought and said wasn't important, only what GOD said was! FAITH SEES the promise, SEES the mountain moved, and hears God say YES! Praise God, the divorce never went through and Les has been HEALED and SET FREE!!! When I went through the valley, God made many promises to me and gave me many prophecies that He would fulfill. One of them was that our valley experience would be used to help others and we would stand before people and give our testimony and that the "nations would know". He is truly Faithful, for this has been fulfilled today! ALL GLORY GOES TO GOD!!! CONCLUSION The Lord has used Les & Cindy's testimony - through audio & video tapes, booklets, and website - to reach other hurting people. They have been blessed to be asked, and to share their testimony at speaking engagements and on Christian television. During the valley, when Cindy would get down and self-pity would try to set in, the Lord would speak to her heart that this valley experience was NOT just for Les and her but for others. Others would be helped out of their valley through Les and Cindy's testimony and encouragement. The Lord spoke to Cindy in Ezekiel 36:8, "But ye, O mountains of Israel, ye shall shoot forth your branches, and yield your fruit to my people of Israel; for they are at hand to come." The Lord also revealed to Cindy in Isaiah 61:11 & 62:10 that the "nations" (people), would hear of their valley experience and through this, a standard would be raised and righteousness and praise would come forth. She had no idea how God would accomplish this, especially since Les dislikes traveling. To bring Glory to God and to share His faithfulness - since Les and Cindy spoke, they have received phone calls, e-mails & letters for prayer from across the United States and around the world. Marriages have been healed by the power of God since the valley, and all Glory goes to Him!!! The Lord has led them to call this prayer and encouragement ministry, REPAIRING THE BREACH MARRIAGE MINISTRY. The Lord continues to do a work in their lives by trying to draw them closer to Him everyday. They will be the first to tell you that there is no such thing as a "perfect marriage", but they will also be the first to tell you that they love and respect each other more now than before the valley, and are closer than ever before. ALL PRAISE & GLORY GOES TO GOD!!! QUESTIONS & ANSWERS QUESTIONS ASKED LES Q.: DID YOU THINK OF CINDY AND THE KIDS WHEN YOU WERE WITH THE STRANGE WOMAN? WERE YOU REALLY WISHING YOU COULD BE WITH THEM? A.: When I was deep in the sin, they were the farthest thing from my mind, but as I was coming out of it I started to think more and more about them. After I saw the movie (talked about in the testimony) I realized how much I loved and missed them. Q.: DID YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WERE HEALED? A.: I wondered, until the strange woman called me at work and asked me AGAIN to leave Cindy for her, and I realized that she didn't have any power over me anymore. I told her NO and hung up on her! That's when I knew I was healed, when I didn't run to her like the other times. Q.: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE HEALED? A.: I knew after the phone call. Cindy trusting me, really helped in my healing too. I don't think like I used to. God changed my heart. I only want Cindy. Q.: DID IT TAKE AWHILE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CATHY & LATHAN TO HEAL? A.: I don't think so. I asked them to forgive me and they did. I told them how sorry I was. I'm thankful that they were only 7 & 10 at the time, because I think it was easier for them to forgive me than if they had been older at the time. Q.: MY SPOUSE HAS GUILT; HOW DID YOU OVERCOME IT? A.: I asked God to forgive me of the sins that I did and HE got rid of the guilt. Q.: WHAT DID YOU LEARN THROUGH YOUR VALLEY EXPERIENCE? A.: I learned that when you get married, that is who God has chosen for you. You are more suitable with that person than any other. I know that Cindy is who God made for me. Q.: HOW DID THE VALLEY CHANGE CINDY AS YOUR WIFE? A.: She is more humble, and our roles are in balance. Q.: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER THE MOST ABOUT THE VALLEY? A.: I don't remember it very much or in any detail. I can't believe it happened, but I know it did. I remember the loneliness. Q.: WAS IT HARD TO FACE CINDY'S PARENTS, CHURCH FAMILY, ETC? A.: We didn't go to church right away after the valley. But when we did, everyone was nice to me. I am very thankful that Cindy's parents took care of my family while I was "gone" (I only gave Cindy $60 a week - if that!). Cindy's family made the first move. I remember my father-in-law giving me a hug - after that, I didn't feel nervous. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR SPOUSES STANDING FOR THEIR MATES? A.: KEEP STANDING! I'm glad Cindy stood for me. I know that I would be going to hell, right now, if she hadn't, and we would not be together as a family. QUESTIONS ASKED CATHY & LATHAN Q.: WHAT WAS THE VALLEY LIKE? Cathy: A.: It was a very hard time for me. There were days of being happy & days of being sad. The Lord was the only source that kept me going. Lathan: A.: It was terrible. I just thought that my dad didn't want anything to do with me. Q.: HAVE YOU FORGIVEN YOUR DAD? WAS IT HARD? Cathy: A.: Yes, I have! It wasn't very hard, because God gave me the forgiveness for my dad. He had me see Dad like Jesus would. Lathan: A.: Yes, I have totally forgiven my dad. One day, I talked to him about the anger that I had. He apologized for everything and promised that he would never do it again. Q.: WHAT ENABLED YOU TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE VALLEY? Cathy: A.: Jesus Christ, the Word of God, and my entire family were the only way I was able to make it. The Bible was like a shield to everything that was going on with Dad. Mom told us all the promises that God gave her. She never left us out. We were a part of this warfare and stood with her. Lathan: A.: Prayer, interceding and knowing all the promises that God gave to my mom. Q.: HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE STRANGE WOMAN? DID YOU HAVE HATRED TOWARDS HER? Cathy: A.: I had a lot of hate towards the strange woman. It made me sick to think of her with my dad. The Lord eventually gave me total forgiveness for her. Lathan: A.: I really hated her. I remember walking through our house and seeing all the strange woman's ducks where my mom's stuff had been. Q.: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT THE VALLEY? Cathy: A.: I remember playing with my cousins most of all. My family was always there for me. We were always together, and that helped ease the pain. I thank the Lord for them!! Lathan: A.: I remember not ever knowing if my dad would ever play catch with me again, and also seeing my uncles with their sons made me miss my dad even more. But, I thank God that my grandpa was there for me like a dad. My mom always told us the Scriptures that God gave her. This helped, because this way we knew what was REALLY going on with Dad. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER SONS & DAUGHTERS GOING THROUGH THEIR VALLEY? Cathy: A.: I would tell girls to hang on to Jesus. He is the only way to get through this situation. Reading the Bible is a lifesaver, too; not just reading it, but seeking God through it. He will show you things just like He were sitting there with you! If your family and friends are standing on God's Word and believing with you, never shelter yourself away from them. They can play a big role in your healing. By being around them, God can use them to encourage you and ease your pain! I know what it feels like, so hang on to Jesus! Lathan: A.: Just hang in there. Pray and stand on God's Word. Listen to your parent. QUESTIONS ASKED CINDY Q.: WHAT WAS THE HARDEST PART OF THE VALLEY? A.: The rejection! To this day, when I am ministering to someone on the phone who is hurting, I can feel their pain; that searing, tearing pain. Also, seeing the hatred in Les' eyes and knowing that, at that time, he did not want me. Q.: WHAT SEEMED TO BE THE BIGGEST BATTLES? A.: Not believing what I saw with my eyes or heard with my ears, especially when I'd see the strange woman drive in our drive or see her make-up in my cabinet, etc. But God would let me know that I would sink if I went by what I saw! Also, not allowing self-pity to set in. That would have been THE biggest tool that satan would try against me, because if I started feeling sorry for myself, then my focus would have went from battling for Les to myself - just want the enemy would have wanted! It would have been like a cancer. Q.: HOW DID YOU HANDLE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THE STRANGE WOMAN? A.: ONLY BY GOD'S GRACE!!! He gave me a supernatural love for her. I was able to wrap my arms around her and tell her that I loved her and forgave her for what had happened. I was able to share with her that she truly needed to ask Jesus into her heart and live for Him; he was who she was really longing for in her soul. He would fill the void that she was trying to fill with men. After God got it through to me that it was more of a battle for Les' salvation than our marriage, I had a greater concern for her soul too. Q.: WHAT WERE SOME OF THE BIGGEST FRUSTRATIONS? A.: When people didn't believe God's Word with me. I remember the kids and I going to Wednesday night service the night, of the day, that Les left us. While there, a dear Christian friend (after hearing what had happened) gave me some "counsel". She told me that what I was now going to have to do is to 1.) Put the kids in a public school, and 2.) get out of the house and get a "job". I turned and looked her square in the eye and told her that "I was NOT going to do this the world's way but GOD'S WAY!!!" These were the two exact things that the ENEMY wanted me to do! This is when the Lord told me to stay away from doubters, because they would drag me under. I have no ill feelings for this sister in the Lord. She was truly hurting for me and wanted to help. The Lord only asks of us to walk in the light that HE has shown us. Q.: MY HUSBAND HAS A WILL OF HIS OWN; IT'S HOPELESS! A.: No, it's not hopeless! ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH GOD! (Math. 19:26) Prayer is POWERFUL, especially when you pray GOD'S WORD!!! If intercessory prayer were not able to change the heart of a person, then why do we pray for our unsaved loved ones? We are to pray - BELIEVING! Q.: WHAT WERE YOUR BIGGEST FEARS? A.: Loosing the children. The children and I grew closer during that time than any other. The same tearing, searing pain that I shared about earlier, I also had when the children and I were not together. I would grow weak, spiritually, and the enemy knew it! Which made me easy prey for him. Another fear was T-I-M-E!!! The enemy would try to get me discouraged by telling me that it would be ten, even twenty years that I would be standing. But then God would remind me that I was one day closer TODAY than I was yesterday, and that He already knew the exact day, and that that day could be TODAY!!! Q.: DID THE VALLEY REALLY CHANGE LES? IS HE REALLY HEALED! A.: YES!!! & YES!!! Before the valley, Les was very selfish. Everything was HIS - the house, the car, the TV., etc.. That attitude is totally gone! To him now, it is OURS. Before the valley, in conversation, it was nothing for him to say idly, "Well, if we'd ever divorce..." There was not a FULL commitment to me then. Now he states, "I WANT TO GROW OLD WITH YOU!" Another thing that has changed about Les is that, all our married life, HE COULDN'T STAND FOR ME TO TOUCH HIM!! He'd always get mad when I'd try to hold his hand, stroke his hair, rub his back, etc. HE DIDN'T WANT TOUCHED! Now he loves it when I stroke his hair, rub his back, etc. He still isn't very affectionate in public - but now, he is privately! There is no way that I can put into words the change that has occurred in Les; it's bonds that only the husband and wife can feel between each other. Not only do I know that Les is healed because of the fruit that he bears, but GOD says that he is healed. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER STANDERS? A.: Keep yourself pure! The enemy might tempt you by bringing someone who "appears" to be Mr. or Miss Perfect. Don't fall for it!! KEEPING PURE IS A WEAPON AGAINST THE ENEMY! Don't play games - Don't try to get revenge - IT WON'T WORK!! You will only play into the hands of the enemy! Let God do it! At the beginning of the valley, I remember sitting and pondering everything. I was getting overwhelmed and thought I was just going to BURST when God, gently, quietly, and calmingly, spoke to me these words: "Why are you fretting? I have it under control; I have it planned out. There aren't any plans or decisions that YOU have to make, I will do it all. You only need to choose to obey or disobey"! Q.: YOU HAD YOUR FAMILY TO STAND WITH YOU, I HAVE NO ONE! A.: Yes, I had my family. It was all new to them also, but they believed God's Word with me. I remember seeing the pain on their faces, for me. They, too, had battles against anger, etc.. - Remember THEY could see too, the activity down at our house from my parent's home. But, they loved Les, loved the Lord and weren't going to let satan have him! They were a BIG blessing to me! But, I have no doubt that if I would have been the only one to stand, then God's grace would have abounded to me to the extent that I would have needed to have been able to be obedient to Him in what He was asking for me to do. He doesn't call us to do something, to set us up for failure! Pray and ask Him to give you a strong, standing, prayer partner - OF THE SAME GENDER!! God will be Faithful! He will either send you one or His Grace will be sufficient. Q.: WELL, YOUR "DIVORCE" DIDN'T GO THROUGH, AND MINE DID, SO HOW CAN YOU UNDERSTAND? A.: As I was standing during the valley, I had no idea how long it would last. In everything that God was asking of me, I had NO idea how long it would take, so the choices of obedience that I was having to make were made with the fear of this taking ten or twenty years. Also, God knows the plan that needs to be accomplished for all involved. Through His Word, He told me that EVERY person that heard of Les' and my situation had a part in God's plan. It was like a ripple in the water as to whom it touched, and God had teachings and lessons for each one! Also, as I shared earlier, God's grace abounds to us for the individual person and what they are going through. As I was spared the pain of a "divorce", God allowed me to experience the pain of DAILY, SEEING and WATCHING the strange woman with my husband, in our home, etc.. For another stander, this might have caused a lot more anger, unforgiveness, nightmares, anxiety, etc.., in which case, God might not call them to this experience. ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT EACH ONE OF US NEED! CINDY'S WALK THROUGH THE WORD THROUGH THE VALLEY 5-31-90 - Les Left. 6-01-90 - Isaiah 37:6b 6-02-90 - Isaiah 58:9-12, Isaiah 57:13-19 6-03-90 - Psalm 91 6-04-90 - Matthew 7:24-27 6-06-90 - Ezekiel 36:22-28, Ezekiel 11:16-20 6- -90 - Ezekiel 36:33-36, Jeremiah 33:6-11, Ezekiel 37:11b-14, Daniel 2:21-23, Exodus 4:11&12, Exodus 4:15b 6-09-90 - Luke 1:17 6-10-90 - Proverbs 10:19&21, Isaiah 49:22-26 7-29-90 - Joel 2:21 7- -90 - Hosea 6:1b-2, Isaiah 47:10-11,Daniel 2:29 8-15-90 - Isaiah 56:1 9-04-90 - Lamentations 3:21-33 9-15-90 - Job 33:14-31 9-16-90 - Lamentations 3:1-20 9-26-90 - Psalm 37:7, Psalm 127:1-2 10-05-90 - Ephesians 5:22-24, Titus 2:4-5,1 Timothy 2:9-14 3-05-91 - Job 34:21-32 3-06-91 - Psalm 27:14 3-09-91 - Isaiah 51:21-23 3-18-91 - Nahum 1:12b&13 3-26-91 - Ezekiel 36:4-11 3-28-91 - Jeremiah 39:17&18 4-08-91 - Isaiah 54:3-17 5-11-91 - Jeremiah 31:27-31, Jeremiah 30:17 5-24-91 - Psalm 102:13 5-25-91 - Ezekiel 12:27-28, Isaiah 40:2 6-13-91 - Isaiah 61:11-62:1-12, Zephaniah 3:20 6-29-91 - Jeremiah 31:9-13 7-06-91 - HOME FOR GOOD!!! THANK YOU, JESUS!!!

Les & Cindy were married on February 2, 1979, in Butler. They have two children: Cathy-born in 1980 and Lathan-born in 1983. Les has worked as as tool & die maker since his senior year in high school, and is about to celebrate his 23nd year at Dura Automotive in Butler. Cindy was a licensed Activity Director and QMA in a nursing home for several years. After Lathan was born they decided that Cindy should be an "at-home" mom. They lived in a mobile home park, in town, for the first six years of their marriage. In 1984-1985, Les, his brother, his brother-in-law, and his dad built their home in the country. They moved into their new home in July of 1985. On September 7, 1985 at 9:05 P.M., at their home, Cindy had a life changing experience by accepting Jesus Christ as her personal Savior. Without her "understanding" anything about the Holy Spirit of God, Jesus baptized Cindy in the Holy Spirit, with the evidence of speaking in other tongues, that same night. Needless to say, Cindy was totally changed that night and has not been the same since. Praise the Lord! Les immediately saw the change in Cindy and knew that what she had experienced was real; Les received Jesus as his personal Savior on November 10, 1985 and was baptized in the Holy Spirit in February, 1986. Les & Cindy were water baptized together on December 8, 1985. Cathy, at five years of age, accepted Jesus in September of 1985 and Lathan, at the age of four, accepted Jesus in October of 1987. The Lord IMMEDIATELY started working in their family by drawing them more and more out of the world and trying to renew their minds! One of the first "major" things that God required out of them was to homeschool their children. So, in September of 1986, being the first in their school district, they started homeschooling. Cathy has since graduated in June of 1998 and Lathan will in June of 2001. THEY WERE ONE HAPPY FAMILY! THEY WERE ATTENDING CHURCH FAITHFULLY TOGETHER AND IT SEEMED THAT LIFE COULD NEVER BE BETTER! Members of Les' family also started building homes. Les felt that it was only right that he help them, since they had so graciously, helped to build theirs. (Remember, Les wasn't saved when building their house.) So, he found himself NOT attending church...then not praying...then...not in the Word. Meanwhile, Cindy had become president and founder of the DeKalb County American Family Association and was giving speeches at different churches around the county as to the dangers of pornography and THE DESTRUCTION TO FAMILIES THAT IT CAUSES! (ARE YOU SEEING YET, HOW SLY THE DEVIL WORKS?...Weakening and isolating Les, and Cindy out trying to save the world from porn while her family is crumbling!) Cindy and the kids continued to attend church "every time the church doors were open" and busied themselves with the "things of the Lord", while, Les, on the other hand, was working fulltime in the factory and fulltime all weekend away from Cindy and the kids. Without ever even realizing it, there had become a BREACH between them; they were living in two different worlds with different priorities! Cindy felt that Les just "didn't get it" with spiritual things, and Les thought that there must be someone out there who needed him. Les found himself being razzed by guys at work about his wife being against pornography. With Les no longer being in the Word or in church, he found himself not wanting the things of God any more. He was embarrassed by Cindy's "spirituality" and wanted to disassociate himself with her, with righteousness and with God! THE VALLEY Les began the testimony. I was the one who took off. We were married in 1979 and have two kids. Cindy and I got saved in 1985, and you would think that all of our problems would be over, and we would have a fine Christian marriage. Well, in 1990, I got other ideas and decided that I didn't want to be married anymore or have any responsibility for my kids. I didn't think that I loved Cindy, and I told her that I wanted a divorce. Cindy has always been very physical in our relationship, but I didn't want Cindy anymore. She was busy as the president of the American Family Association in our county. She was always busy doing something or going someplace. I told myself that Cindy didn't need me, and that I needed someone who did. At the place where I worked, there was a woman who seemed to be helpless and needed someone to take care of her. That's how I got started on the road to adultery. It's true what Les just said. When I got saved in 1985, I poured myself into working for the Kingdom of God. I was out there "working for the Lord", homeschooling our kids... on the weekends, I was off with Operation Rescue, or at a speaking engagement for A.F.A., or "busy" in the church. As far as I knew, we had a wonderful marriage. We didn't argue, we didn't fight, and I trusted Les. When we first started through the valley, people would ask me, "Is there someone else?" I would answer adamantly, "NO WAY!! You don't know my husband. There's NO WAY that Les would do that. He's NOT like that!!" I knew, that I knew, that I knew, that there was NOT someone else. On May 30, 1990, Les came home, crawled into bed and said, "I WANT A DIVORCE!" I looked into his eyes and saw such hatred that I knew he wasn't kidding. He did not look like my Les. The valley lasted for about a year and a half, and he didn't look like my Les during that entire time. His eyes were dark. He got into wearing designer clothing. He started working out and lost a lot of weight. He got a different hairstyle. He became a person that I didn't even know. He told me - what will sound familiar to thousands of women who have heard these same words from their husbands - "I DON'T LOVE YOU; I HAVE NEVER LOVED YOU; WE WERE TOO YOUNG WHEN WE GOT MARRIED; WE WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED." I asked him, "What about the kids?" His answer was cold, hard, and uncaring; "YOU SHELTER THEM TOO MUCH!! KIDS ALL OVER THE WORLD GO THROUGH THIS AND HANDLE IT. OURS WILL TOO!!" I went upstairs, got on the phone and called my mom, my sisters and my pastor and asked for prayer. I asked them to pray that God would give me the gift of faith to believe for my marriage. AND GOD DID!!! From that time on, God would encourage me by saying to me, "I AM THE GOD OF ALL FLESH, IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR ME? MY ARM IS NOT TOO SHORT OR MY EAR DEAF THAT I DO NOT HEAR!" I remember Him asking me, "ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE THE WORDS OF A MERE MAN, OR THE WORD OF ALMIGHTY GOD!!!" WE are the ones who limit God! That day, May 30, 1990, I resigned from everything. The minute I knew Les was serious, NOTHING was important to me but my marriage. God burned into me, in a matter of seconds, what my priorities were: my husband and my children! He showed me that as I served my husband, I was serving Jesus Christ. As I loved my husband, I was loving Jesus Christ because Les is my lord here on this earth. God was showing me that although it looked like Les was the one in the sin right now, He had JUST as much work to do in ME! I didn't know whether the walk would take ten months or ten years, or whether there would be a "divorce" or not. I just knew that GOD WOULD BE FAITHFUL!!! "Now it seems ridiculous," Les continues, "but even when I was committing adultery, I still called myself a Christian. I even prayed, 'Lord if this is not Your will, make something happen to make the "strange woman" leave.' She didn't leave, so I said, 'Hey, this is what I am going to do, since it must be okay with God.'" Cindy and I live out in the country on land that we bought from her mom and dad, who live next door. At first, I moved in with my brother, then I made Cindy and the kids leave our home and I moved into it with the strange woman. I told Cindy to get everything out of the house because anything left was going to get burned! I was starting a "new" life, WITHOUT Cindy, the kids, or "our" stuff. They moved in with Cindy's parents and could look out the kitchen window and see me with the strange woman in the yard. I didn't know why I felt uncomfortable in my own home, until I found out later that Cindy had anointed our house, land and the four corners of our property and would walk, at night in her parent's lane, praying. The strange woman would get bored with me and feel uncomfortable in my home and take off. In fact, she left me three times, and three times I kicked my wife and children out of our home. All it took was one phone call from her, after she would leave, to get me back on her hook. She was like a magnet which I couldn't resist. We would get back together, and I would tell Cindy to get out of the house. As all these things were happening with Les, I cried out to the Lord. I didn't know anything about "standing" for a marriage. The Word became more alive to me than ever before. The Lord would tell me, throughout the valley, things that were going to happen before they even did. He told me, in Isaiah 57:18&19, that HE WOULD HEAL LES. The day that I received the divorce papers was one of the hardest days of the valley. Throughout the valley, if I was not in the Word, if I did not have praise music - that was the WORD OF GOD - if I did not have the presence of God surrounding me, it was like my heart was being put on hot coals or fire, and I couldn't pull it away. There was a real, physical pain, and IT HURT!! The moment I would get back into the presence of God, it was like soothing oil or ointment being poured over me. I could feel HIS HEALING POWER!!! I had to come into the presence of God EVERY day and get rid of unforgiveness. I couldn't afford to harbor anger and let it pile up. Each day I had to allow the POWER OF FORGIVENESS in my life. I would cry out to the Lord and say, "I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM!" But, because of God's healing power, I would then find myself crying out, "I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM!" God explained to me how I needed to watch my words. I needed to be kind and gentle. When I would see Les, I was not to harp; I was not to manipulate. This was GOD'S BATTLE, and I was to back off, intercede and trust God to do the work in my husband. While He was doing a work in my husband, He was going to do a work in ME! He wanted to teach me to hear His voice and to really learn to TRUST Him as my Sovereign, Heavenly Father. I knew that God was telling me that Les and I were truly one flesh. One flesh cannot go in two directions at the same time! He told me to STAND, WATCH, and WAIT to see HIM draw Les back. I knew that if the divorce went through - in the natural realm - that God was telling me that those "papers" meant NOTHING! What GOD joined together would STAY together, even if it didn't LOOK like it! My sister-in-law gave me a pamphlet, that she came across, entitled "Through The Valley" by Dana & Val Hartong. When I read it, I knew I wasn't loony. I knew I wasn't crazy. I realized that I wasn't alone, and I called and talked to Val. She encouraged me because God had spoken to my heart a lot of the same Scriptures that were in their pamphlet. During this time of the valley, Les appeared to be "having a great time". He didn't need me, or want me. He acted as though he thought he could have any woman in the world that he wanted. He was a macho acting, hard, mean, man. But from the beginning of the valley, the Lord told me, DON'T GO BY WHAT YOU SEE WITH YOUR EYES OR BY WHAT YOU HEAR WITH YOUR EARS!" Well, God gave me a vision of what was really going on with Les. What the Lord showed me was Les, like a little child, huddled up in a hump in a corner, bound with chains, whimpering and crying, with powers of darkness surrounding him and taunting him. He was hurting and needed help; HE NEEDED SET FREE!! By our human, natural eyesight, Les was a man who didn't need anybody; a man who could take care of himself and who appeared to finally KNOW what he wanted out of life. But GOD said otherwise!! Like Les said, the kids and I were kicked out of our home three different times. I have had wonderful Christian people, and even pastors, tell me that, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" "THREE TIMES OF BEING KICKED OUT OF YOUR HOME IS ENOUGH!" "YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH BEING TREATED LIKE THAT!" "GOD HAS SOMEONE BETTER FOR YOU!" "YOU DESERVE BETTER!" "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT LES BACK?" But what God said was, "Cindy, how many times will I forgive YOU? Do I set a limit - three times and you're out? How far was I willing to go, and how much was I willing to do for YOU?" The Lord asked me...if I wasn't willing to intercede and fight spiritual warfare for Les, then who would? It was as if Les had gotten himself ensnared in a spider's web - and we know that once a victim is caught in one it cannot free itself, but someone could CUT it free! The Lord taught me that intercessory prayer and standing in the authority of Jesus and on the Word of God was what was going to cut Les free from the snare that he was tangled in! God showed me that what the enemy meant for harm, God would use for good. - He's in the salvaging business! - PRAISE GOD! In the natural realm, Les' and my marriage looked totally, hopelessly, destroyed. As I would try to share with others what was really going on and what God was doing, I could see the look in their eyes saying..."Poor Cindy, she just can't face reality! Doesn't she know how much Les doesn't want her anymore? Can't she see how happy Les is now? Doesn't she see how she is building up false hopes in the kids by not facing the truth? Doesn't she realize how arrogant she sounds? She needs to just let go and get on with her life!" But God said that we were on the road of CONSTRUCTION and NOT the road of destruction! When a new, beautifully, smooth, paved highway is constructed, it first went through a time of appearing destroyed. It had to go through that phase to become the beautifully, completed road that now thousands are able to travel upon. We, as Christians, walk by FAITH not by sight, and God was teaching me this firsthand! I remember having to keep the Word of God - which is our shield and buckler - in front of me at all times because the enemy would come in and try to attack me with doubt. I would feel like I was sinking in a hopeless pit and the pain would become almost unbearable until I would SPEAK FORTH WHAT GOD HAD TOLD ME!!! His Word is what got me - us - through!!! God said, "Cindy, if Les was sick and delirious in the hospital and you and the kids went to see him, and he yelled at you, 'GET OUT, I DON'T NEED YOU, I DON'T LOVE YOU, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN,' would you believe him? Would you take the kids and leave and never go back again? No, you would understand that, under the condition that he was in, he didn't know what he was saying. Now he is SPIRITUALLY sick and you are fighting for his ETERNAL healing, and his ETERNAL salvation is first and foremost. Even if you didn't have My promises for marriage, would you still intercede and lay your life down, until he comes back to Me? Are you willing to do that to save his soul from eternal hell?" It wasn't easy; I knew that there wasn't anything more important than to obey what the Father was asking of me. But it was hard; and yet He made it possible because He was my biggest cheerleader! THANK YOU, JESUS!!! My mission was to be willing to serve Jesus NO MATTER WHAT and to fight spiritual warfare for Les' salvation. GOD had the PLAN. HE had the STRATEGY. It was no longer a battle for a marriage as much as it was for a husband's soul! I treated Cindy like dirt during the valley and she would turn the other cheek. I guess it was greed, but I thought that if I got rid of Cindy and the kids, I would have more money. BUT GOD HAD OTHER THINGS IN MIND! Every time that I thought that I would have some money for the strange woman and myself, something would happen! I wrecked my brother's motorcycle, my well went out, my lawnmower's motor blew up. When Cindy found out that I had NO FOOD in the house, and had been eating only plain spaghetti noodles, she brought me some meatloaves and cheesecake. Cindy loved me even though I treated her like dirt. At one point, during the valley, I remember telling Cindy that I didn't know what REAL love was. I had quit attending church and had reached a point where I didn't want anything to do with God. But God will reach down where we are. God used a secular movie to show me that NOBODY would love me like Cindy; NOBODY can raise our kids like Cindy and I, and we needed to be together as a family. I wouldn't go to God, so He came to me! Cindy continued: During my valley experience, a friend sent me an excerpt from a book that she was reading. God used it to encourage me daily, along with His Word. As I would read, "Look not back. Keep thy face toward the sunrise, for He shall rise fresh daily in thy soul with healing in His wings," it was as if God was pouring cool, healing oil over my spirit. I knew God had a work to do in MY life and He was telling me that the sooner I learned what He was trying to teach me, the sooner it would be over and Les would be healed. I had to WAIT, TRUST and BELIEVE and NOT look at what I saw with my eyes, or heard with my ears. I was to look through the Spirit's eyes, and stand on God's Word and see the VICTORY. I learned that what PEOPLE thought and said wasn't important, only what GOD said was! FAITH SEES the promise, SEES the mountain moved, and hears God say YES! Praise God, the divorce never went through and Les has been HEALED and SET FREE!!! When I went through the valley, God made many promises to me and gave me many prophecies that He would fulfill. One of them was that our valley experience would be used to help others and we would stand before people and give our testimony and that the "nations would know". He is truly Faithful, for this has been fulfilled today! ALL GLORY GOES TO GOD!!! CONCLUSION The Lord has used Les & Cindy's testimony - through audio & video tapes, booklets, and website - to reach other hurting people. They have been blessed to be asked, and to share their testimony at speaking engagements and on Christian television. During the valley, when Cindy would get down and self-pity would try to set in, the Lord would speak to her heart that this valley experience was NOT just for Les and her but for others. Others would be helped out of their valley through Les and Cindy's testimony and encouragement. The Lord spoke to Cindy in Ezekiel 36:8, "But ye, O mountains of Israel, ye shall shoot forth your branches, and yield your fruit to my people of Israel; for they are at hand to come." The Lord also revealed to Cindy in Isaiah 61:11 & 62:10 that the "nations" (people), would hear of their valley experience and through this, a standard would be raised and righteousness and praise would come forth. She had no idea how God would accomplish this, especially since Les dislikes traveling. To bring Glory to God and to share His faithfulness - since Les and Cindy spoke, they have received phone calls, e-mails & letters for prayer from across the United States and around the world. Marriages have been healed by the power of God since the valley, and all Glory goes to Him!!! The Lord has led them to call this prayer and encouragement ministry, REPAIRING THE BREACH MARRIAGE MINISTRY. The Lord continues to do a work in their lives by trying to draw them closer to Him everyday. They will be the first to tell you that there is no such thing as a "perfect marriage", but they will also be the first to tell you that they love and respect each other more now than before the valley, and are closer than ever before. ALL PRAISE & GLORY GOES TO GOD!!! QUESTIONS & ANSWERS QUESTIONS ASKED LES Q.: DID YOU THINK OF CINDY AND THE KIDS WHEN YOU WERE WITH THE STRANGE WOMAN? WERE YOU REALLY WISHING YOU COULD BE WITH THEM? A.: When I was deep in the sin, they were the farthest thing from my mind, but as I was coming out of it I started to think more and more about them. After I saw the movie (talked about in the testimony) I realized how much I loved and missed them. Q.: DID YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WERE HEALED? A.: I wondered, until the strange woman called me at work and asked me AGAIN to leave Cindy for her, and I realized that she didn't have any power over me anymore. I told her NO and hung up on her! That's when I knew I was healed, when I didn't run to her like the other times. Q.: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE HEALED? A.: I knew after the phone call. Cindy trusting me, really helped in my healing too. I don't think like I used to. God changed my heart. I only want Cindy. Q.: DID IT TAKE AWHILE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CATHY & LATHAN TO HEAL? A.: I don't think so. I asked them to forgive me and they did. I told them how sorry I was. I'm thankful that they were only 7 & 10 at the time, because I think it was easier for them to forgive me than if they had been older at the time. Q.: MY SPOUSE HAS GUILT; HOW DID YOU OVERCOME IT? A.: I asked God to forgive me of the sins that I did and HE got rid of the guilt. Q.: WHAT DID YOU LEARN THROUGH YOUR VALLEY EXPERIENCE? A.: I learned that when you get married, that is who God has chosen for you. You are more suitable with that person than any other. I know that Cindy is who God made for me. Q.: HOW DID THE VALLEY CHANGE CINDY AS YOUR WIFE? A.: She is more humble, and our roles are in balance. Q.: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER THE MOST ABOUT THE VALLEY? A.: I don't remember it very much or in any detail. I can't believe it happened, but I know it did. I remember the loneliness. Q.: WAS IT HARD TO FACE CINDY'S PARENTS, CHURCH FAMILY, ETC? A.: We didn't go to church right away after the valley. But when we did, everyone was nice to me. I am very thankful that Cindy's parents took care of my family while I was "gone" (I only gave Cindy $60 a week - if that!). Cindy's family made the first move. I remember my father-in-law giving me a hug - after that, I didn't feel nervous. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR SPOUSES STANDING FOR THEIR MATES? A.: KEEP STANDING! I'm glad Cindy stood for me. I know that I would be going to hell, right now, if she hadn't, and we would not be together as a family. QUESTIONS ASKED CATHY & LATHAN Q.: WHAT WAS THE VALLEY LIKE? Cathy: A.: It was a very hard time for me. There were days of being happy & days of being sad. The Lord was the only source that kept me going. Lathan: A.: It was terrible. I just thought that my dad didn't want anything to do with me. Q.: HAVE YOU FORGIVEN YOUR DAD? WAS IT HARD? Cathy: A.: Yes, I have! It wasn't very hard, because God gave me the forgiveness for my dad. He had me see Dad like Jesus would. Lathan: A.: Yes, I have totally forgiven my dad. One day, I talked to him about the anger that I had. He apologized for everything and promised that he would never do it again. Q.: WHAT ENABLED YOU TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE VALLEY? Cathy: A.: Jesus Christ, the Word of God, and my entire family were the only way I was able to make it. The Bible was like a shield to everything that was going on with Dad. Mom told us all the promises that God gave her. She never left us out. We were a part of this warfare and stood with her. Lathan: A.: Prayer, interceding and knowing all the promises that God gave to my mom. Q.: HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE STRANGE WOMAN? DID YOU HAVE HATRED TOWARDS HER? Cathy: A.: I had a lot of hate towards the strange woman. It made me sick to think of her with my dad. The Lord eventually gave me total forgiveness for her. Lathan: A.: I really hated her. I remember walking through our house and seeing all the strange woman's ducks where my mom's stuff had been. Q.: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT THE VALLEY? Cathy: A.: I remember playing with my cousins most of all. My family was always there for me. We were always together, and that helped ease the pain. I thank the Lord for them!! Lathan: A.: I remember not ever knowing if my dad would ever play catch with me again, and also seeing my uncles with their sons made me miss my dad even more. But, I thank God that my grandpa was there for me like a dad. My mom always told us the Scriptures that God gave her. This helped, because this way we knew what was REALLY going on with Dad. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER SONS & DAUGHTERS GOING THROUGH THEIR VALLEY? Cathy: A.: I would tell girls to hang on to Jesus. He is the only way to get through this situation. Reading the Bible is a lifesaver, too; not just reading it, but seeking God through it. He will show you things just like He were sitting there with you! If your family and friends are standing on God's Word and believing with you, never shelter yourself away from them. They can play a big role in your healing. By being around them, God can use them to encourage you and ease your pain! I know what it feels like, so hang on to Jesus! Lathan: A.: Just hang in there. Pray and stand on God's Word. Listen to your parent. QUESTIONS ASKED CINDY Q.: WHAT WAS THE HARDEST PART OF THE VALLEY? A.: The rejection! To this day, when I am ministering to someone on the phone who is hurting, I can feel their pain; that searing, tearing pain. Also, seeing the hatred in Les' eyes and knowing that, at that time, he did not want me. Q.: WHAT SEEMED TO BE THE BIGGEST BATTLES? A.: Not believing what I saw with my eyes or heard with my ears, especially when I'd see the strange woman drive in our drive or see her make-up in my cabinet, etc. But God would let me know that I would sink if I went by what I saw! Also, not allowing self-pity to set in. That would have been THE biggest tool that satan would try against me, because if I started feeling sorry for myself, then my focus would have went from battling for Les to myself - just want the enemy would have wanted! It would have been like a cancer. Q.: HOW DID YOU HANDLE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THE STRANGE WOMAN? A.: ONLY BY GOD'S GRACE!!! He gave me a supernatural love for her. I was able to wrap my arms around her and tell her that I loved her and forgave her for what had happened. I was able to share with her that she truly needed to ask Jesus into her heart and live for Him; he was who she was really longing for in her soul. He would fill the void that she was trying to fill with men. After God got it through to me that it was more of a battle for Les' salvation than our marriage, I had a greater concern for her soul too. Q.: WHAT WERE SOME OF THE BIGGEST FRUSTRATIONS? A.: When people didn't believe God's Word with me. I remember the kids and I going to Wednesday night service the night, of the day, that Les left us. While there, a dear Christian friend (after hearing what had happened) gave me some "counsel". She told me that what I was now going to have to do is to 1.) Put the kids in a public school, and 2.) get out of the house and get a "job". I turned and looked her square in the eye and told her that "I was NOT going to do this the world's way but GOD'S WAY!!!" These were the two exact things that the ENEMY wanted me to do! This is when the Lord told me to stay away from doubters, because they would drag me under. I have no ill feelings for this sister in the Lord. She was truly hurting for me and wanted to help. The Lord only asks of us to walk in the light that HE has shown us. Q.: MY HUSBAND HAS A WILL OF HIS OWN; IT'S HOPELESS! A.: No, it's not hopeless! ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH GOD! (Math. 19:26) Prayer is POWERFUL, especially when you pray GOD'S WORD!!! If intercessory prayer were not able to change the heart of a person, then why do we pray for our unsaved loved ones? We are to pray - BELIEVING! Q.: WHAT WERE YOUR BIGGEST FEARS? A.: Loosing the children. The children and I grew closer during that time than any other. The same tearing, searing pain that I shared about earlier, I also had when the children and I were not together. I would grow weak, spiritually, and the enemy knew it! Which made me easy prey for him. Another fear was T-I-M-E!!! The enemy would try to get me discouraged by telling me that it would be ten, even twenty years that I would be standing. But then God would remind me that I was one day closer TODAY than I was yesterday, and that He already knew the exact day, and that that day could be TODAY!!! Q.: DID THE VALLEY REALLY CHANGE LES? IS HE REALLY HEALED! A.: YES!!! & YES!!! Before the valley, Les was very selfish. Everything was HIS - the house, the car, the TV., etc.. That attitude is totally gone! To him now, it is OURS. Before the valley, in conversation, it was nothing for him to say idly, "Well, if we'd ever divorce..." There was not a FULL commitment to me then. Now he states, "I WANT TO GROW OLD WITH YOU!" Another thing that has changed about Les is that, all our married life, HE COULDN'T STAND FOR ME TO TOUCH HIM!! He'd always get mad when I'd try to hold his hand, stroke his hair, rub his back, etc. HE DIDN'T WANT TOUCHED! Now he loves it when I stroke his hair, rub his back, etc. He still isn't very affectionate in public - but now, he is privately! There is no way that I can put into words the change that has occurred in Les; it's bonds that only the husband and wife can feel between each other. Not only do I know that Les is healed because of the fruit that he bears, but GOD says that he is healed. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER STANDERS? A.: Keep yourself pure! The enemy might tempt you by bringing someone who "appears" to be Mr. or Miss Perfect. Don't fall for it!! KEEPING PURE IS A WEAPON AGAINST THE ENEMY! Don't play games - Don't try to get revenge - IT WON'T WORK!! You will only play into the hands of the enemy! Let God do it! At the beginning of the valley, I remember sitting and pondering everything. I was getting overwhelmed and thought I was just going to BURST when God, gently, quietly, and calmingly, spoke to me these words: "Why are you fretting? I have it under control; I have it planned out. There aren't any plans or decisions that YOU have to make, I will do it all. You only need to choose to obey or disobey"! Q.: YOU HAD YOUR FAMILY TO STAND WITH YOU, I HAVE NO ONE! A.: Yes, I had my family. It was all new to them also, but they believed God's Word with me. I remember seeing the pain on their faces, for me. They, too, had battles against anger, etc.. - Remember THEY could see too, the activity down at our house from my parent's home. But, they loved Les, loved the Lord and weren't going to let satan have him! They were a BIG blessing to me! But, I have no doubt that if I would have been the only one to stand, then God's grace would have abounded to me to the extent that I would have needed to have been able to be obedient to Him in what He was asking for me to do. He doesn't call us to do something, to set us up for failure! Pray and ask Him to give you a strong, standing, prayer partner - OF THE SAME GENDER!! God will be Faithful! He will either send you one or His Grace will be sufficient. Q.: WELL, YOUR "DIVORCE" DIDN'T GO THROUGH, AND MINE DID, SO HOW CAN YOU UNDERSTAND? A.: As I was standing during the valley, I had no idea how long it would last. In everything that God was asking of me, I had NO idea how long it would take, so the choices of obedience that I was having to make were made with the fear of this taking ten or twenty years. Also, God knows the plan that needs to be accomplished for all involved. Through His Word, He told me that EVERY person that heard of Les' and my situation had a part in God's plan. It was like a ripple in the water as to whom it touched, and God had teachings and lessons for each one! Also, as I shared earlier, God's grace abounds to us for the individual person and what they are going through. As I was spared the pain of a "divorce", God allowed me to experience the pain of DAILY, SEEING and WATCHING the strange woman with my husband, in our home, etc.. For another stander, this might have caused a lot more anger, unforgiveness, nightmares, anxiety, etc.., in which case, God might not call them to this experience. ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT EACH ONE OF US NEED! Les & Cindy were married on February 2, 1979, in Butler. They have two children: Cathy-born in 1980 and Lathan-born in 1983. Les has worked as as tool & die maker since his senior year in high school, and is about to celebrate his 23nd year at Dura Automotive in Butler. Cindy was a licensed Activity Director and QMA in a nursing home for several years. After Lathan was born they decided that Cindy should be an "at-home" mom. They lived in a mobile home park, in town, for the first six years of their marriage. In 1984-1985, Les, his brother, his brother-in-law, and his dad built their home in the country. They moved into their new home in July of 1985. On September 7, 1985 at 9:05 P.M., at their home, Cindy had a life changing experience by accepting Jesus Christ as her personal Savior. Without her "understanding" anything about the Holy Spirit of God, Jesus baptized Cindy in the Holy Spirit, with the evidence of speaking in other tongues, that same night. Needless to say, Cindy was totally changed that night and has not been the same since. Praise the Lord! Les immediately saw the change in Cindy and knew that what she had experienced was real; Les received Jesus as his personal Savior on November 10, 1985 and was baptized in the Holy Spirit in February, 1986. Les & Cindy were water baptized together on December 8, 1985. Cathy, at five years of age, accepted Jesus in September of 1985 and Lathan, at the age of four, accepted Jesus in October of 1987. The Lord IMMEDIATELY started working in their family by drawing them more and more out of the world and trying to renew their minds! One of the first "major" things that God required out of them was to homeschool their children. So, in September of 1986, being the first in their school district, they started homeschooling. Cathy has since graduated in June of 1998 and Lathan will in June of 2001. THEY WERE ONE HAPPY FAMILY! THEY WERE ATTENDING CHURCH FAITHFULLY TOGETHER AND IT SEEMED THAT LIFE COULD NEVER BE BETTER! Members of Les' family also started building homes. Les felt that it was only right that he help them, since they had so graciously, helped to build theirs. (Remember, Les wasn't saved when building their house.) So, he found himself NOT attending church...then not praying...then...not in the Word. Meanwhile, Cindy had become president and founder of the DeKalb County American Family Association and was giving speeches at different churches around the county as to the dangers of pornography and THE DESTRUCTION TO FAMILIES THAT IT CAUSES! (ARE YOU SEEING YET, HOW SLY THE DEVIL WORKS?...Weakening and isolating Les, and Cindy out trying to save the world from porn while her family is crumbling!) Cindy and the kids continued to attend church "every time the church doors were open" and busied themselves with the "things of the Lord", while, Les, on the other hand, was working fulltime in the factory and fulltime all weekend away from Cindy and the kids. Without ever even realizing it, there had become a BREACH between them; they were living in two different worlds with different priorities! Cindy felt that Les just "didn't get it" with spiritual things, and Les thought that there must be someone out there who needed him. Les found himself being razzed by guys at work about his wife being against pornography. With Les no longer being in the Word or in church, he found himself not wanting the things of God any more. He was embarrassed by Cindy's "spirituality" and wanted to disassociate himself with her, with righteousness and with God! THE VALLEY Les began the testimony. I was the one who took off. We were married in 1979 and have two kids. Cindy and I got saved in 1985, and you would think that all of our problems would be over, and we would have a fine Christian marriage. Well, in 1990, I got other ideas and decided that I didn't want to be married anymore or have any responsibility for my kids. I didn't think that I loved Cindy, and I told her that I wanted a divorce. Cindy has always been very physical in our relationship, but I didn't want Cindy anymore. She was busy as the president of the American Family Association in our county. She was always busy doing something or going someplace. I told myself that Cindy didn't need me, and that I needed someone who did. At the place where I worked, there was a woman who seemed to be helpless and needed someone to take care of her. That's how I got started on the road to adultery. It's true what Les just said. When I got saved in 1985, I poured myself into working for the Kingdom of God. I was out there "working for the Lord", homeschooling our kids... on the weekends, I was off with Operation Rescue, or at a speaking engagement for A.F.A., or "busy" in the church. As far as I knew, we had a wonderful marriage. We didn't argue, we didn't fight, and I trusted Les. When we first started through the valley, people would ask me, "Is there someone else?" I would answer adamantly, "NO WAY!! You don't know my husband. There's NO WAY that Les would do that. He's NOT like that!!" I knew, that I knew, that I knew, that there was NOT someone else. On May 30, 1990, Les came home, crawled into bed and said, "I WANT A DIVORCE!" I looked into his eyes and saw such hatred that I knew he wasn't kidding. He did not look like my Les. The valley lasted for about a year and a half, and he didn't look like my Les during that entire time. His eyes were dark. He got into wearing designer clothing. He started working out and lost a lot of weight. He got a different hairstyle. He became a person that I didn't even know. He told me - what will sound familiar to thousands of women who have heard these same words from their husbands - "I DON'T LOVE YOU; I HAVE NEVER LOVED YOU; WE WERE TOO YOUNG WHEN WE GOT MARRIED; WE WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED." I asked him, "What about the kids?" His answer was cold, hard, and uncaring; "YOU SHELTER THEM TOO MUCH!! KIDS ALL OVER THE WORLD GO THROUGH THIS AND HANDLE IT. OURS WILL TOO!!" I went upstairs, got on the phone and called my mom, my sisters and my pastor and asked for prayer. I asked them to pray that God would give me the gift of faith to believe for my marriage. AND GOD DID!!! From that time on, God would encourage me by saying to me, "I AM THE GOD OF ALL FLESH, IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR ME? MY ARM IS NOT TOO SHORT OR MY EAR DEAF THAT I DO NOT HEAR!" I remember Him asking me, "ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE THE WORDS OF A MERE MAN, OR THE WORD OF ALMIGHTY GOD!!!" WE are the ones who limit God! That day, May 30, 1990, I resigned from everything. The minute I knew Les was serious, NOTHING was important to me but my marriage. God burned into me, in a matter of seconds, what my priorities were: my husband and my children! He showed me that as I served my husband, I was serving Jesus Christ. As I loved my husband, I was loving Jesus Christ because Les is my lord here on this earth. God was showing me that although it looked like Les was the one in the sin right now, He had JUST as much work to do in ME! I didn't know whether the walk would take ten months or ten years, or whether there would be a "divorce" or not. I just knew that GOD WOULD BE FAITHFUL!!! "Now it seems ridiculous," Les continues, "but even when I was committing adultery, I still called myself a Christian. I even prayed, 'Lord if this is not Your will, make something happen to make the "strange woman" leave.' She didn't leave, so I said, 'Hey, this is what I am going to do, since it must be okay with God.'" Cindy and I live out in the country on land that we bought from her mom and dad, who live next door. At first, I moved in with my brother, then I made Cindy and the kids leave our home and I moved into it with the strange woman. I told Cindy to get everything out of the house because anything left was going to get burned! I was starting a "new" life, WITHOUT Cindy, the kids, or "our" stuff. They moved in with Cindy's parents and could look out the kitchen window and see me with the strange woman in the yard. I didn't know why I felt uncomfortable in my own home, until I found out later that Cindy had anointed our house, land and the four corners of our property and would walk, at night in her parent's lane, praying. The strange woman would get bored with me and feel uncomfortable in my home and take off. In fact, she left me three times, and three times I kicked my wife and children out of our home. All it took was one phone call from her, after she would leave, to get me back on her hook. She was like a magnet which I couldn't resist. We would get back together, and I would tell Cindy to get out of the house. As all these things were happening with Les, I cried out to the Lord. I didn't know anything about "standing" for a marriage. The Word became more alive to me than ever before. The Lord would tell me, throughout the valley, things that were going to happen before they even did. He told me, in Isaiah 57:18&19, that HE WOULD HEAL LES. The day that I received the divorce papers was one of the hardest days of the valley. Throughout the valley, if I was not in the Word, if I did not have praise music - that was the WORD OF GOD - if I did not have the presence of God surrounding me, it was like my heart was being put on hot coals or fire, and I couldn't pull it away. There was a real, physical pain, and IT HURT!! The moment I would get back into the presence of God, it was like soothing oil or ointment being poured over me. I could feel HIS HEALING POWER!!! I had to come into the presence of God EVERY day and get rid of unforgiveness. I couldn't afford to harbor anger and let it pile up. Each day I had to allow the POWER OF FORGIVENESS in my life. I would cry out to the Lord and say, "I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM!" But, because of God's healing power, I would then find myself crying out, "I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM!" God explained to me how I needed to watch my words. I needed to be kind and gentle. When I would see Les, I was not to harp; I was not to manipulate. This was GOD'S BATTLE, and I was to back off, intercede and trust God to do the work in my husband. While He was doing a work in my husband, He was going to do a work in ME! He wanted to teach me to hear His voice and to really learn to TRUST Him as my Sovereign, Heavenly Father. I knew that God was telling me that Les and I were truly one flesh. One flesh cannot go in two directions at the same time! He told me to STAND, WATCH, and WAIT to see HIM draw Les back. I knew that if the divorce went through - in the natural realm - that God was telling me that those "papers" meant NOTHING! What GOD joined together would STAY together, even if it didn't LOOK like it! My sister-in-law gave me a pamphlet, that she came across, entitled "Through The Valley" by Dana & Val Hartong. When I read it, I knew I wasn't loony. I knew I wasn't crazy. I realized that I wasn't alone, and I called and talked to Val. She encouraged me because God had spoken to my heart a lot of the same Scriptures that were in their pamphlet. During this time of the valley, Les appeared to be "having a great time". He didn't need me, or want me. He acted as though he thought he could have any woman in the world that he wanted. He was a macho acting, hard, mean, man. But from the beginning of the valley, the Lord told me, DON'T GO BY WHAT YOU SEE WITH YOUR EYES OR BY WHAT YOU HEAR WITH YOUR EARS!" Well, God gave me a vision of what was really going on with Les. What the Lord showed me was Les, like a little child, huddled up in a hump in a corner, bound with chains, whimpering and crying, with powers of darkness surrounding him and taunting him. He was hurting and needed help; HE NEEDED SET FREE!! By our human, natural eyesight, Les was a man who didn't need anybody; a man who could take care of himself and who appeared to finally KNOW what he wanted out of life. But GOD said otherwise!! Like Les said, the kids and I were kicked out of our home three different times. I have had wonderful Christian people, and even pastors, tell me that, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" "THREE TIMES OF BEING KICKED OUT OF YOUR HOME IS ENOUGH!" "YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH BEING TREATED LIKE THAT!" "GOD HAS SOMEONE BETTER FOR YOU!" "YOU DESERVE BETTER!" "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT LES BACK?" But what God said was, "Cindy, how many times will I forgive YOU? Do I set a limit - three times and you're out? How far was I willing to go, and how much was I willing to do for YOU?" The Lord asked me...if I wasn't willing to intercede and fight spiritual warfare for Les, then who would? It was as if Les had gotten himself ensnared in a spider's web - and we know that once a victim is caught in one it cannot free itself, but someone could CUT it free! The Lord taught me that intercessory prayer and standing in the authority of Jesus and on the Word of God was what was going to cut Les free from the snare that he was tangled in! God showed me that what the enemy meant for harm, God would use for good. - He's in the salvaging business! - PRAISE GOD! In the natural realm, Les' and my marriage looked totally, hopelessly, destroyed. As I would try to share with others what was really going on and what God was doing, I could see the look in their eyes saying..."Poor Cindy, she just can't face reality! Doesn't she know how much Les doesn't want her anymore? Can't she see how happy Les is now? Doesn't she see how she is building up false hopes in the kids by not facing the truth? Doesn't she realize how arrogant she sounds? She needs to just let go and get on with her life!" But God said that we were on the road of CONSTRUCTION and NOT the road of destruction! When a new, beautifully, smooth, paved highway is constructed, it first went through a time of appearing destroyed. It had to go through that phase to become the beautifully, completed road that now thousands are able to travel upon. We, as Christians, walk by FAITH not by sight, and God was teaching me this firsthand! I remember having to keep the Word of God - which is our shield and buckler - in front of me at all times because the enemy would come in and try to attack me with doubt. I would feel like I was sinking in a hopeless pit and the pain would become almost unbearable until I would SPEAK FORTH WHAT GOD HAD TOLD ME!!! His Word is what got me - us - through!!! God said, "Cindy, if Les was sick and delirious in the hospital and you and the kids went to see him, and he yelled at you, 'GET OUT, I DON'T NEED YOU, I DON'T LOVE YOU, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN,' would you believe him? Would you take the kids and leave and never go back again? No, you would understand that, under the condition that he was in, he didn't know what he was saying. Now he is SPIRITUALLY sick and you are fighting for his ETERNAL healing, and his ETERNAL salvation is first and foremost. Even if you didn't have My promises for marriage, would you still intercede and lay your life down, until he comes back to Me? Are you willing to do that to save his soul from eternal hell?" It wasn't easy; I knew that there wasn't anything more important than to obey what the Father was asking of me. But it was hard; and yet He made it possible because He was my biggest cheerleader! THANK YOU, JESUS!!! My mission was to be willing to serve Jesus NO MATTER WHAT and to fight spiritual warfare for Les' salvation. GOD had the PLAN. HE had the STRATEGY. It was no longer a battle for a marriage as much as it was for a husband's soul! I treated Cindy like dirt during the valley and she would turn the other cheek. I guess it was greed, but I thought that if I got rid of Cindy and the kids, I would have more money. BUT GOD HAD OTHER THINGS IN MIND! Every time that I thought that I would have some money for the strange woman and myself, something would happen! I wrecked my brother's motorcycle, my well went out, my lawnmower's motor blew up. When Cindy found out that I had NO FOOD in the house, and had been eating only plain spaghetti noodles, she brought me some meatloaves and cheesecake. Cindy loved me even though I treated her like dirt. At one point, during the valley, I remember telling Cindy that I didn't know what REAL love was. I had quit attending church and had reached a point where I didn't want anything to do with God. But God will reach down where we are. God used a secular movie to show me that NOBODY would love me like Cindy; NOBODY can raise our kids like Cindy and I, and we needed to be together as a family. I wouldn't go to God, so He came to me! Cindy continued: During my valley experience, a friend sent me an excerpt from a book that she was reading. God used it to encourage me daily, along with His Word. As I would read, "Look not back. Keep thy face toward the sunrise, for He shall rise fresh daily in thy soul with healing in His wings," it was as if God was pouring cool, healing oil over my spirit. I knew God had a work to do in MY life and He was telling me that the sooner I learned what He was trying to teach me, the sooner it would be over and Les would be healed. I had to WAIT, TRUST and BELIEVE and NOT look at what I saw with my eyes, or heard with my ears. I was to look through the Spirit's eyes, and stand on God's Word and see the VICTORY. I learned that what PEOPLE thought and said wasn't important, only what GOD said was! FAITH SEES the promise, SEES the mountain moved, and hears God say YES! Praise God, the divorce never went through and Les has been HEALED and SET FREE!!! When I went through the valley, God made many promises to me and gave me many prophecies that He would fulfill. One of them was that our valley experience would be used to help others and we would stand before people and give our testimony and that the "nations would know". He is truly Faithful, for this has been fulfilled today! ALL GLORY GOES TO GOD!!! CONCLUSION The Lord has used Les & Cindy's testimony - through audio & video tapes, booklets, and website - to reach other hurting people. They have been blessed to be asked, and to share their testimony at speaking engagements and on Christian television. During the valley, when Cindy would get down and self-pity would try to set in, the Lord would speak to her heart that this valley experience was NOT just for Les and her but for others. Others would be helped out of their valley through Les and Cindy's testimony and encouragement. The Lord spoke to Cindy in Ezekiel 36:8, "But ye, O mountains of Israel, ye shall shoot forth your branches, and yield your fruit to my people of Israel; for they are at hand to come." The Lord also revealed to Cindy in Isaiah 61:11 & 62:10 that the "nations" (people), would hear of their valley experience and through this, a standard would be raised and righteousness and praise would come forth. She had no idea how God would accomplish this, especially since Les dislikes traveling. To bring Glory to God and to share His faithfulness - since Les and Cindy spoke, they have received phone calls, e-mails & letters for prayer from across the United States and around the world. Marriages have been healed by the power of God since the valley, and all Glory goes to Him!!! The Lord has led them to call this prayer and encouragement ministry, REPAIRING THE BREACH MARRIAGE MINISTRY. The Lord continues to do a work in their lives by trying to draw them closer to Him everyday. They will be the first to tell you that there is no such thing as a "perfect marriage", but they will also be the first to tell you that they love and respect each other more now than before the valley, and are closer than ever before. ALL PRAISE & GLORY GOES TO GOD!!! QUESTIONS & ANSWERS QUESTIONS ASKED LES Q.: DID YOU THINK OF CINDY AND THE KIDS WHEN YOU WERE WITH THE STRANGE WOMAN? WERE YOU REALLY WISHING YOU COULD BE WITH THEM? A.: When I was deep in the sin, they were the farthest thing from my mind, but as I was coming out of it I started to think more and more about them. After I saw the movie (talked about in the testimony) I realized how much I loved and missed them. Q.: DID YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WERE HEALED? A.: I wondered, until the strange woman called me at work and asked me AGAIN to leave Cindy for her, and I realized that she didn't have any power over me anymore. I told her NO and hung up on her! That's when I knew I was healed, when I didn't run to her like the other times. Q.: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE HEALED? A.: I knew after the phone call. Cindy trusting me, really helped in my healing too. I don't think like I used to. God changed my heart. I only want Cindy. Q.: DID IT TAKE AWHILE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CATHY & LATHAN TO HEAL? A.: I don't think so. I asked them to forgive me and they did. I told them how sorry I was. I'm thankful that they were only 7 & 10 at the time, because I think it was easier for them to forgive me than if they had been older at the time. Q.: MY SPOUSE HAS GUILT; HOW DID YOU OVERCOME IT? A.: I asked God to forgive me of the sins that I did and HE got rid of the guilt. Q.: WHAT DID YOU LEARN THROUGH YOUR VALLEY EXPERIENCE? A.: I learned that when you get married, that is who God has chosen for you. You are more suitable with that person than any other. I know that Cindy is who God made for me. Q.: HOW DID THE VALLEY CHANGE CINDY AS YOUR WIFE? A.: She is more humble, and our roles are in balance. Q.: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER THE MOST ABOUT THE VALLEY? A.: I don't remember it very much or in any detail. I can't believe it happened, but I know it did. I remember the loneliness. Q.: WAS IT HARD TO FACE CINDY'S PARENTS, CHURCH FAMILY, ETC? A.: We didn't go to church right away after the valley. But when we did, everyone was nice to me. I am very thankful that Cindy's parents took care of my family while I was "gone" (I only gave Cindy $60 a week - if that!). Cindy's family made the first move. I remember my father-in-law giving me a hug - after that, I didn't feel nervous. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR SPOUSES STANDING FOR THEIR MATES? A.: KEEP STANDING! I'm glad Cindy stood for me. I know that I would be going to hell, right now, if she hadn't, and we would not be together as a family. QUESTIONS ASKED CATHY & LATHAN Q.: WHAT WAS THE VALLEY LIKE? Cathy: A.: It was a very hard time for me. There were days of being happy & days of being sad. The Lord was the only source that kept me going. Lathan: A.: It was terrible. I just thought that my dad didn't want anything to do with me. Q.: HAVE YOU FORGIVEN YOUR DAD? WAS IT HARD? Cathy: A.: Yes, I have! It wasn't very hard, because God gave me the forgiveness for my dad. He had me see Dad like Jesus would. Lathan: A.: Yes, I have totally forgiven my dad. One day, I talked to him about the anger that I had. He apologized for everything and promised that he would never do it again. Q.: WHAT ENABLED YOU TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE VALLEY? Cathy: A.: Jesus Christ, the Word of God, and my entire family were the only way I was able to make it. The Bible was like a shield to everything that was going on with Dad. Mom told us all the promises that God gave her. She never left us out. We were a part of this warfare and stood with her. Lathan: A.: Prayer, interceding and knowing all the promises that God gave to my mom. Q.: HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE STRANGE WOMAN? DID YOU HAVE HATRED TOWARDS HER? Cathy: A.: I had a lot of hate towards the strange woman. It made me sick to think of her with my dad. The Lord eventually gave me total forgiveness for her. Lathan: A.: I really hated her. I remember walking through our house and seeing all the strange woman's ducks where my mom's stuff had been. Q.: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT THE VALLEY? Cathy: A.: I remember playing with my cousins most of all. My family was always there for me. We were always together, and that helped ease the pain. I thank the Lord for them!! Lathan: A.: I remember not ever knowing if my dad would ever play catch with me again, and also seeing my uncles with their sons made me miss my dad even more. But, I thank God that my grandpa was there for me like a dad. My mom always told us the Scriptures that God gave her. This helped, because this way we knew what was REALLY going on with Dad. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER SONS & DAUGHTERS GOING THROUGH THEIR VALLEY? Cathy: A.: I would tell girls to hang on to Jesus. He is the only way to get through this situation. Reading the Bible is a lifesaver, too; not just reading it, but seeking God through it. He will show you things just like He were sitting there with you! If your family and friends are standing on God's Word and believing with you, never shelter yourself away from them. They can play a big role in your healing. By being around them, God can use them to encourage you and ease your pain! I know what it feels like, so hang on to Jesus! Lathan: A.: Just hang in there. Pray and stand on God's Word. Listen to your parent. QUESTIONS ASKED CINDY Q.: WHAT WAS THE HARDEST PART OF THE VALLEY? A.: The rejection! To this day, when I am ministering to someone on the phone who is hurting, I can feel their pain; that searing, tearing pain. Also, seeing the hatred in Les' eyes and knowing that, at that time, he did not want me. Q.: WHAT SEEMED TO BE THE BIGGEST BATTLES? A.: Not believing what I saw with my eyes or heard with my ears, especially when I'd see the strange woman drive in our drive or see her make-up in my cabinet, etc. But God would let me know that I would sink if I went by what I saw! Also, not allowing self-pity to set in. That would have been THE biggest tool that satan would try against me, because if I started feeling sorry for myself, then my focus would have went from battling for Les to myself - just want the enemy would have wanted! It would have been like a cancer. Q.: HOW DID YOU HANDLE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THE STRANGE WOMAN? A.: ONLY BY GOD'S GRACE!!! He gave me a supernatural love for her. I was able to wrap my arms around her and tell her that I loved her and forgave her for what had happened. I was able to share with her that she truly needed to ask Jesus into her heart and live for Him; he was who she was really longing for in her soul. He would fill the void that she was trying to fill with men. After God got it through to me that it was more of a battle for Les' salvation than our marriage, I had a greater concern for her soul too. Q.: WHAT WERE SOME OF THE BIGGEST FRUSTRATIONS? A.: When people didn't believe God's Word with me. I remember the kids and I going to Wednesday night service the night, of the day, that Les left us. While there, a dear Christian friend (after hearing what had happened) gave me some "counsel". She told me that what I was now going to have to do is to 1.) Put the kids in a public school, and 2.) get out of the house and get a "job". I turned and looked her square in the eye and told her that "I was NOT going to do this the world's way but GOD'S WAY!!!" These were the two exact things that the ENEMY wanted me to do! This is when the Lord told me to stay away from doubters, because they would drag me under. I have no ill feelings for this sister in the Lord. She was truly hurting for me and wanted to help. The Lord only asks of us to walk in the light that HE has shown us. Q.: MY HUSBAND HAS A WILL OF HIS OWN; IT'S HOPELESS! A.: No, it's not hopeless! ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH GOD! (Math. 19:26) Prayer is POWERFUL, especially when you pray GOD'S WORD!!! If intercessory prayer were not able to change the heart of a person, then why do we pray for our unsaved loved ones? We are to pray - BELIEVING! Q.: WHAT WERE YOUR BIGGEST FEARS? A.: Loosing the children. The children and I grew closer during that time than any other. The same tearing, searing pain that I shared about earlier, I also had when the children and I were not together. I would grow weak, spiritually, and the enemy knew it! Which made me easy prey for him. Another fear was T-I-M-E!!! The enemy would try to get me discouraged by telling me that it would be ten, even twenty years that I would be standing. But then God would remind me that I was one day closer TODAY than I was yesterday, and that He already knew the exact day, and that that day could be TODAY!!! Q.: DID THE VALLEY REALLY CHANGE LES? IS HE REALLY HEALED! A.: YES!!! & YES!!! Before the valley, Les was very selfish. Everything was HIS - the house, the car, the TV., etc.. That attitude is totally gone! To him now, it is OURS. Before the valley, in conversation, it was nothing for him to say idly, "Well, if we'd ever divorce..." There was not a FULL commitment to me then. Now he states, "I WANT TO GROW OLD WITH YOU!" Another thing that has changed about Les is that, all our married life, HE COULDN'T STAND FOR ME TO TOUCH HIM!! He'd always get mad when I'd try to hold his hand, stroke his hair, rub his back, etc. HE DIDN'T WANT TOUCHED! Now he loves it when I stroke his hair, rub his back, etc. He still isn't very affectionate in public - but now, he is privately! There is no way that I can put into words the change that has occurred in Les; it's bonds that only the husband and wife can feel between each other. Not only do I know that Les is healed because of the fruit that he bears, but GOD says that he is healed. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER STANDERS? A.: Keep yourself pure! The enemy might tempt you by bringing someone who "appears" to be Mr. or Miss Perfect. Don't fall for it!! KEEPING PURE IS A WEAPON AGAINST THE ENEMY! Don't play games - Don't try to get revenge - IT WON'T WORK!! You will only play into the hands of the enemy! Let God do it! At the beginning of the valley, I remember sitting and pondering everything. I was getting overwhelmed and thought I was just going to BURST when God, gently, quietly, and calmingly, spoke to me these words: "Why are you fretting? I have it under control; I have it planned out. There aren't any plans or decisions that YOU have to make, I will do it all. You only need to choose to obey or disobey"! Q.: YOU HAD YOUR FAMILY TO STAND WITH YOU, I HAVE NO ONE! A.: Yes, I had my family. It was all new to them also, but they believed God's Word with me. I remember seeing the pain on their faces, for me. They, too, had battles against anger, etc.. - Remember THEY could see too, the activity down at our house from my parent's home. But, they loved Les, loved the Lord and weren't going to let satan have him! They were a BIG blessing to me! But, I have no doubt that if I would have been the only one to stand, then God's grace would have abounded to me to the extent that I would have needed to have been able to be obedient to Him in what He was asking for me to do. He doesn't call us to do something, to set us up for failure! Pray and ask Him to give you a strong, standing, prayer partner - OF THE SAME GENDER!! God will be Faithful! He will either send you one or His Grace will be sufficient. Q.: WELL, YOUR "DIVORCE" DIDN'T GO THROUGH, AND MINE DID, SO HOW CAN YOU UNDERSTAND? A.: As I was standing during the valley, I had no idea how long it would last. In everything that God was asking of me, I had NO idea how long it would take, so the choices of obedience that I was having to make were made with the fear of this taking ten or twenty years. Also, God knows the plan that needs to be accomplished for all involved. Through His Word, He told me that EVERY person that heard of Les' and my situation had a part in God's plan. It was like a ripple in the water as to whom it touched, and God had teachings and lessons for each one! Also, as I shared earlier, God's grace abounds to us for the individual person and what they are going through. As I was spared the pain of a "divorce", God allowed me to experience the pain of DAILY, SEEING and WATCHING the strange woman with my husband, in our home, etc.. For another stander, this might have caused a lot more anger, unforgiveness, nightmares, anxiety, etc.., in which case, God might not call them to this experience. ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT EACH ONE OF US NEED! CINDY'S WALK THROUGH THE WORD THROUGH THE VALLEY 5-31-90 - Les Left. 6-01-90 - Isaiah 37:6b 6-02-90 - Isaiah 58:9-12, Isaiah 57:13-19 6-03-90 - Psalm 91 6-04-90 - Matthew 7:24-27 6-06-90 - Ezekiel 36:22-28, Ezekiel 11:16-20 6- -90 - Ezekiel 36:33-36, Jeremiah 33:6-11, Ezekiel 37:11b-14, Daniel 2:21-23, Exodus 4:11&12, Exodus 4:15b 6-09-90 - Luke 1:17 6-10-90 - Proverbs 10:19&21, Isaiah 49:22-26 7-29-90 - Joel 2:21 7- -90 - Hosea 6:1b-2, Isaiah 47:10-11,Daniel 2:29 8-15-90 - Isaiah 56:1 9-04-90 - Lamentations 3:21-33 9-15-90 - Job 33:14-31 9-16-90 - Lamentations 3:1-20 9-26-90 - Psalm 37:7, Psalm 127:1-2 10-05-90 - Ephesians 5:22-24, Titus 2:4-5,1 Timothy 2:9-14 3-05-91 - Job 34:21-32 3-06-91 - Psalm 27:14 3-09-91 - Isaiah 51:21-23 3-18-91 - Nahum 1:12b&13 3-26-91 - Ezekiel 36:4-11 3-28-91 - Jeremiah 39:17&18 4-08-91 - Isaiah 54:3-17 5-11-91 - Jeremiah 31:27-31, Jeremiah 30:17 5-24-91 - Psalm 102:13 5-25-91 - Ezekiel 12:27-28, Isaiah 40:2 6-13-91 - Isaiah 61:11-62:1-12, Zephaniah 3:20 6-29-91 - Jeremiah 31:9-13 7-06-91 - HOME FOR GOOD!!! THANK YOU, JESUS!!! CINDY'S WALK THROUGH THE WORD THROUGH THE VALLEY 5-31-90 - Les Left. 6-01-90 - Isaiah 37:6b 6-02-90 - Isaiah 58:9-12, Isaiah 57:13-19 6-03-90 - Psalm 91 6-04-90 - Matthew 7:24-27 6-06-90 - Ezekiel 36:22-28, Ezekiel 11:16-20 6- -90 - Ezekiel 36:33-36, Jeremiah 33:6-11, Ezekiel 37:11b-14, Daniel 2:21-23, Exodus 4:11&12, Exodus 4:15b 6-09-90 - Luke 1:17 6-10-90 - Proverbs 10:19&21, Isaiah 49:22-26 7-29-90 - Joel 2:21 7- -90 - Hosea 6:1b-2, Isaiah 47:10-11,Daniel 2:29 8-15-90 - Isaiah 56:1 9-04-90 - Lamentations 3:21-33 9-15-90 - Job 33:14-31 9-16-90 - Lamentations 3:1-20 9-26-90 - Psalm 37:7, Psalm 127:1-2 10-05-90 - Ephesians 5:22-24, Titus 2:4-5,1 Timothy 2:9-14 3-05-91 - Job 34:21-32 3-06-91 - Psalm 27:14 3-09-91 - Isaiah 51:21-23 3-18-91 - Nahum 1:12b&13 3-26-91 - Ezekiel 36:4-11 3-28-91 - Jeremiah 39:17&18 4-08-91 - Isaiah 54:3-17 5-11-91 - Jeremiah 31:27-31, Jeremiah 30:17 5-24-91 - Psalm 102:13 5-25-91 - Ezekiel 12:27-28, Isaiah 40:2 6-13-91 - Isaiah 61:11-62:1-12, Zephaniah 3:20 6-29-91 - Jeremiah 31:9-13 7-06-91 - HOME FOR GOOD!!! THANK YOU, JESUS!!! Used with Permission

GOD ANSWERS PRAYER Burke

Mike & Cheryl Burke - I was searching on our old marriage group for testimonies for Sandy and found some that used to be on Dana Hartongs site. They are all covenant marriage testimonies. Dana and Val were also a covenant couple that were restored and I will send their testimony through also. Dana passed away a few years back so the site is no longer up, but I have these testimonies in the archives of our marriage group..Some of them are long, so grab a cup of coffee/tea and be prepared to sit for a little bit.. Mike & Cheryl Burke GOD ANSWERS PRAYER How long would You wait for your husband to come home? Would eleven years be too long? Could you still pray for your marriage to be healed if your husband had two children by another woman? Most people would give up hope long before the end of eleven years. Their friends and relatives would counsel them that their mate was never coming home, and they should get on with their life. But Cheryl never gave up hope as she stood for the restoration of her marriage. Here is her story . . . Mike and I were married January 3, 1970, in a small church in Michigan. We believed our marriage would last forever. Divorce was not going to be an option with us. Incredibly, after only six months of marriage, I had threatened to get a divorce twice. But, God blocked my efforts. What was the problem? We argued over everything. We had differences of opinion on almost every subject. Strife and unforgiveness entered into our marriage. This opened the door for the possibility of divorce later on. We really didnt want a divorce, so we worked at reconciling our differences. Our first baby, Kenny, was born four years later. At our babys six-month check-up, the doctor talked about the Lord and invited me to church. He recommended a book, which I purchased. After reading this book, I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. That very night my husband asked me for a divorce and soon left me. I continued to read my Bible and pray for a miracle. After a few months, Mike did come home, and we moved into a new home together. It was wonderful to see Mike put his wedding ring back on. Our minister and an evangelist visited us in our home, and Mike accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Savior and was baptized. Our second son, Ron was born in 1977 and our family was complete. But, I did not continue to depend on God after Mike and I reconciled, like I did before we reconciled. We attended church off and on, and I prayed off and on. Strife and unforgiveness slipped back into our relationship again, and three years later in 1980, Mike left. The children and I began to pray every night for Daddy to come home. I spent a lot of time praying, repenting of my part in the situation, and asking God what He wanted me to do. I called a Christian TV counselor who told me to pray, praise, and pray for my husbands salvation. He recommended reading Ephesians 1:3, 1:17, 18, 3:14-17 and 6:12. Good advice for the wife is given in Ephesians 5:33 in the amplified bible. There, the wife is told that she should respect and reverence her husband. She should notice him, regard him, honor him, prefer him, venerate and esteem him, defer to him, and love and admire him exceedingly. The Lord led me to a spirit-filled church where the Word came alive to me. I met Nancy there. Her husband had left her about the same time as mine and we had become prayer partners. We asked the Lord to first change us. Nancy and I met with others who also felt Gods will for them was to stand for reconciled and restored marriages. We began to meet together for Bible study, prayer and fellowship. As it says in Mark 11:24, we believed that we received when we prayed. We developed wonderful friendships that sustained us. I have to admit that I did get discouraged when year after year passed, and I didnt see any evidence of my prayers being answered. According to Matthew 19:4-6 my husband and I were permanently joined together in marriage by our vow, and no man may separate what God has joined together. So, I had no choice. I waited. The woman my husband was involved with became pregnant. Most people, including some Christians, discouraged me from continuing to stand and believe for my marriage. However, our prayer group remained steadfast and supportive. The Lord would encourage me with scripture like Isaiah 54:17. But, after a second child was born to the other woman, Mike divorced me, and made their relationship legal. Eventually, they left Ohio and moved to Minnesota. I continued to stand for my marriage. The next years were not easy, raising two little boys by myself. Kenny and Ronnie accepted Jesus as their Savior when they were very young. Although they did not have the blessing of their earthly Daddy during those years, their Heavenly Father was taking care of them and I had to trust He would restore what they were missing in His own way and in His own time. Many times I wanted to give up, but I had many encouragers; my prayer partners, my pastor, and Dana and Val Hartong who have a ministry called New Hope for Broken Marriages. A book that was a real help to me was by P.B. Wilson called Liberated through Submission - The Ultimate Paradox by Harvest House Publishers. We had not talked to each other for a year, when one night I received a phone call from Mike telling me, "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" He said he always felt like there was a cloud over him. Prayer is powerful and I know Mike could feel our prayers and he was under conviction. About six months later, Mike wrote me a letter telling me, "GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE! IM NEVER COMING HOME!!!" A few letters later, his letters had changed from, "IM NEVER COMING HOME," to "Shes moved out, can I please come and see our kids on their birthdays?" A month later on Kens 17th birthday, Mike got down on one knee and proposed marriage to me, quoting some of our marriage vows. He asked me to recommit to him and to our vows. I was ecstatic and eagerly agreed. Mike had to leave to wrap things up in Minnesota and as I walked through the house, I began to wonder if he had really been there and proposed, or if I had only dreamed it. I said to the Lord, "If only I had some tangible evidence that Mike was really here." I glanced at a small table, there I saw a note from Mike. "THE PRODIGAL HUSBAND HAS RETURNED! I LOVE YOU AND I AM TOTALLY COMMITTED TO YOU FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!!!" GOD HAD ANSWERED PRAYER. Eleven years after our separation, Mike and I were sitting in the judges chambers. Our sons, Ken and Ron, were with us. The judge asked why we came to him. Mike had a profound answer for him. "Our marriage was taken apart legally through the law of the land, and were here to have the law of the land put it back together legally." The judges final words were, "May God add His blessing and keep you to fulfill your covenant from this day forth." We had a wonderful honeymoon visiting Mikes children in Minnesota. We recently celebrated the fifth anniversary of our remarriage. Last spring, Mike was given custody of Justin and Crystal who are now 13 and 12. I love and admire my husband greatly and feel very blessed. Im grateful to God for His mercy, and grateful to Mike for his patience and love. It took a terrific guy to do what Mike did. Mike says to tell you he loves me; he loves all our kids; he loves all our pets; and he loves our old home. He is content. I want to tell you that there is no place like being in the will of God. There might be some who would question my remarrying my husband. They would quote Deut. 24:2-4. But Jeremiah 3:1 addresses the question of remarrying your mate. It says, "Though You have left ME and married many lovers, yet I have invited you to come to me again, the Lord declares!! We wanted you to hear a few words from our children. KEN: I remember praying for my dad to come home starting when I was very little. I believe God is responsible for restoring our family. I did miss a lot by my dad not being home while I was growing up. But, it was nice to have him around as I was finishing school. Im sure Im not aware of all the ways all this has affected me. One thing I do know, I am very cautious about relationships. I want to have a marriage someday that will last a lifetime because divorce is devastating. I am happy that my Dad will be around for holidays and hell be there when I do marry and have children. RON: I dont even remember my dad before he left us. My earliest memories are praying for him to come home. I do believe that God answered our prayers, I just wish God would have done it earlier. At first when my dad came back, I was very excited, then I resented the fact that he had not been there for me, and now he was telling me what to do. It was hard to accept his authority. My dad has really tried to be the best dad he could be, and Im happy that hes there for me now. I dont believe in divorce. I grew up with one parent and I dont want that for my children. I want my children to have both parents. I am glad that someday my kids will not only have a grandma, but they will also have a grandpa! JUSTIN: Of course it is hard not being with both of my parents. I am glad that I spent some years with my mom, but this is where I know I should be now. Ive been working on my grades and I even got to join wrestling this year. When my sister and I were with Dad and Cheryl a couple of years ago, we prayed and asked Jesus into our hearts. I get to go to church now, and I feel God is helping me deal with things. I believe in my heart that I am where I should be. CRYSTAL: Its hard not being with my mom. I miss her, but Im glad to be with my dad. My brother and I are making new friends, and I hope to be able to get into a sport. I think this is the best lifestyle for me. I feel we are open with each other, and I feel like I fit in here. God has turned my life around, and I have a brighter future. I feel Dad and my step-mom will guide me into a good relationship when I grow up. Cheryl talks a lot about marriage, and I want to have a good one. Basically, life is good! Was it worth it? I want to tell you that it WAS worth it! Everything starts with Jesus, He is The Way to God. Invite Him into your heart and give him your life. GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS Cheryl Burke

Through the Valley & Beyond Hartong's Testimony

Through the Valley & Beyond by Dana and Val Hartong Dedicated to our children Sue, Beth, Brad, and Jayne who were always there to hold up my arms when I couldnt. The present marriage crisis has been brought about by selfishness and what we call mid-life crisis which is: rebellion against any restraint that keeps you from being what you think you ought to be and think you have a right to be, and rebellion against any responsibility that would interfere with that aim. Proverbs 29:18 Where there is no vision the people cast off restraints. New Hope For Broken Marriages Dana and Val Hartong 24652 Featherstone Road Sturgis, Michigan 49091 (269) 651-2187 Through The Valley (Jesus Has Everything Under Control) Dec. 10, 1978 - Sep. 20, 1979 DECEMBER 10, 1979 I want a divorce, I dont love you. I didnt love you when I married you. I want out!! My pastor husband and I had been happily married for 30 years when he astonished me with this incredulous statement. The following is a diary of Scripture and Words from Jesus to me during the Valley experience. I called them "Drinks of water." Most of the scripture is taken from the Living or Amplified Bible. January 1, 1979 God gave me Psalms 67:2 "I will send you and Dana around the world with the news of my saving power. This was fulfilled in September of 1985 when we received a letter from the Philippines. They had seen our testimony on "700 Club" and were praising the Lord for our saved marriage. January 6, 1979 Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you, and you wont need to lift a finger. Isaiah 43:2 "When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown, When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned." February 1979 Danas anguished cry, "I couldnt survive without your love, Lord. Help me, I cant help myself. I am not myself." Psalm 91:14 The Lord answered, "Because he loves me, I will rescue him. I will make him great because he trusts in my name." Psalm 31:7 "I am radiant with joy because of your mercy, for you have listened to my troubles and have seen the crisis in my soul." Job 8:21 "He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." Gods answer to me when I asked Him, "Will I ever laugh again?" March 1979 March 12 Psalm 94:17, 18 "I would have died unless the Lord had helped me. I screamed, Im slipping, Lord and he was kind and saved me." March 13 Matthew 18:18 "If two of you agree down here on earth concerning anything you ask for, my Father in heaven will do it for you." March 17 Revelation 3:8 "I have opened a door to you that no one can shut." Dana left home with a double-barreled shotgun intending to kill himself. Psalm 71:3b "You have issued the order to save me." April 1979 April 12 Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me." Philippians 1:6 "He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it." April 27 Psalm 91:15 "I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him." May 1979 May 5 Psalm 30:5 "Weeping may go on all night, but in the morning there is joy." Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." (expected end) May 11 II Chronicles 20:15, 17 "For the battle is not yours, but Gods. Stand quietly and see the Incredible Rescue Operation God will perform for you." May 24 I know, that I know, that I know my marriage is healed. Thank you Father, for my husband who loves me so much. June 1979 June 12 Isaiah 43:19 "Behold, I am doing a brand new thing." June 14 Matthew 15:31 "The crowd was amazed when they saw the maimed whole." Danas right arm had been paralyzed for 25 years from a corn-picker accident. I CLAIMED his healing. Three weeks later on July 4, God instantaneously and completely restored perfect feeling in his arm. IT WAS A MIRACLE! Isaiah 57:18 I have seen what they do, but I will heal them anyway. I will lead them and comfort them, helping them to mourn and confess their sins. July 1979 July 4 At the International Full Gospel Business mens Fellowship meeting in New Orleans, Dana received the baptism of the Holy Spirit and the instant healing of his right arm. July 17 Matthew 26:41 Keep alert and pray. II Cor. 4:18 "The troubles will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever." August 1979 Dana asked me to please go and pick up the divorce papers. He said he couldnt stand to hurt me by having them served to me at home. Isaiah 46:10,13 "All I say will come to pass. For I am offering you my deliverance, not in the distant future, but right now." August 22 Prophecy by Harold Harding to Dana. "The past is over and shall never be revealed. You shall be known as the man whom God touched." August 30 Psalm 91:14 "Because he loves me, I will rescue him." September 1979 Isaiah 61:1 (For Dana) "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the suffering and afflicted. He has sent me to comfort the broken-hearted, to announce liberty to captives and to open the eyes of the blind." September 8 "You are my beloved. Dana is my man. Ill never let him go. Just trust me. My ways are not your ways." September 19 Dana was planning to disappear in New England and had stopped in a motel in Ohio. There was a Gideon Bible on the table open to Malachi 2:14-16. "The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously, yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy covenant. For the Lord God says,I hate divorce." Dana was furious and threw the Bible at the table, jumped in bed and wished he were dead. September 20 Dana came home completely turned around. I had my loving husband who loved me so much back. I couldnt stand the suspense and I asked the Lord to please tell me what had happened to Dana. I can still tell you the place I was standing when the Lord answered me, "Look in Job 33:14." I argued, "but God, Why would I look in Job? Thats about boils." God answered, "Look there because I told you to." To my amazement these are the words I read: "For God speaks again and again in dreams, in visions of the night when deep sleep falls on men as they lie on their beds. He opens their ears in times like that and gives them wisdom and instruction causing them to change their minds and keeping them from pride and warning them of the penalties of sin, and keeping them from falling into some trap . . . Yes, God often does these things for man . . .brings back his soul from the pit, so that he may live in the light of the living." Job 33:14-30. VALS PRAYERS I PRAISE AND THANK YOU FATHER That: My husband loves me so much. That: My marriage is healed. That: You are not in the marriage-breaking-up-business. That: I have a supernatural love for Dana. That: You are perfecting that which concerneth me. That: You do not owe me an explanation for what happens in my life. That: I desire to desire your desires in my life. That: I can give thanks in everything for this is the will of Christ Jesus concerning me. That: All true joy is born of sorrow. That: Youll never make a mistake in my life. That: Everything that happens to me has to come through your hands first. That: I can pray a hedge of thorns around my mate. That: It is your will to heal my marriage, because according to Malachi 2:16, you hate divorce. That: I am adapting myself to my mate and doing it willingly. That: Divorce is no option for a believer because divorce is a form of unforgiveness. That: I dont have to be right. I cant afford the luxury of strife and self-pity. That: Those who have faith you will perform. (prophecy on our list of marriages.) That: We are not to be our own tormentors. That: Your promise given is kept. That: That which you have begun you will finish. That: Since you are directing our paths, why do we wonder what happens along the way. That: Our enemy is not flesh and blood. That: You gave me beauty for ashes. That: When your Holy Spirit convicts, He brings repentance. When we condemn, we bring rebellion. That: Your Spirit stands and abides in the midst of me. That: According to Ephesians 5:33 (amplified), I will respect and reverence my husband. I will notice him, regard him, honor him, prefer him, venerate and esteem him, defer to him, praise him, and love and admire him exceedingly. That: JESUS HAS EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL! Standing (Is there anything too hard for the Lord?) Is there anything too hard for the Lord? Jeremiah 32:27 I _____ take thee _____ to be my wedded (wife) (husband) to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to Gods Holy Ordinance. Worse can be the pit of hell, poorer can be desperation, sickness can be devastating, but this is the vow you made to your mate, before God until death separates. What God hath joined together let no man (including a judge) put asunder. AS GODS WORD SAYS: Genesis 2:24 "THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH." Malachi 2:16 "I HATE DIVORCE" SAYS THE LORD GOD. MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT Malachi 2:14 "The Lord has been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth against whom thou hast dealt treacherously, yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy covenant." Proverbs 2:17 "The wayward wife has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God." You cant break a covenant, you violate a covenant. In the same way, you cant break the law, you can only violate it. Hosea 4:11 "Wine, women, and song make a man lose his brains." First comes dissatisfaction, then deception, finally total delusion. A loving family mans (or womans) values and morals sometimes become what he formerly abhorred. Romans 6:16 The one to whom you offer yourself - he will take you and be your master, and you will be his slave." When you yield to lust (I MUST have it NOW), you are a prisoner of war. You will be in Satans "P.O.W." Camp. You cannot of yourself break the bondage. You are set free through intercessory prayer. 2 Corinthians 4:4 "Satan who is the god of this evil world has made him blind." Ephesians 1:18 "I pray that the eyes of your understanding may be enlightened." Isaiah 44:20 "He feeds on ashes. A deluded heart misleads him. He cannot save himself or say, Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?" Job 5:8 "But if I were you, I would appeal to God. I would lay my cause before Him. HE performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. AS GODS WORD SAYS: I John 5:14,15 "And this is the confidence, the assurance, the privilege of boldness, which we have in Him. WE ARE SURE that if we ask anything (make any request) according to His will (in agreement with His own plan), He listens to and hears us. And if since we positively know that He listens to us in whatever we ask, we also know (with settled and absolute knowledge) that we have granted us as our present possession, the requests made of Him." II Corinthians 2:14 "Thanks be unto God who ALWAYS causes us to triumph in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:28 "And we KNOW that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." So, since we know that God hates divorce, it is His will for marriages to be healed and we can stand in confidence for a healed marriage. Romans 4:17,18 "This promise is from God Himself . . . who speaks of future events with as much certainty as though they were already past. Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed." Norman Williams tells the story of being in a burning airplane in the Canary Islands. Every person around him was dead and on fire. He walked up the aisle of the burning plane, held his arms up, praised the Lord and said, "I will NOT believe my circumstances. I WILL believe Gods Word in Isaiah 43:2 that says, "When thou walkest through the fire thou shalt not be burned, neither shall the flames kindle upon thee." Norman looked up, saw a hole in the ceiling of the plane, climbed up and out (he hasnt the slightest idea how) and jumped off the wing just seconds before the plane exploded. Just like the men in the fiery furnace in the Bible, there was not even the smell of smoke on his clothes. Norman would have died if he had believed his circumstances instead of Gods Word. AS GODS WORD SAYS: I Peter 3:1 "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands, so that, if any do not believe, they may be won over without talk by the behavior of their wives." Obedience is the secret key to enable God to work on our behalf. Psalm 34:17 "The righteous cry and the Lord heareth and delivereth them our of all their troubles." Revelation 12:11 "Satan is defeated by the blood of Jesus and the Word of my testimony." I testify that the blood of Jesus is being applied in my marriage to any root of bitterness, any spirit of deception, and delusion, and to any spirit of lust. I submit myself to God for Him to make me into the person He planned for me to be, and into the person my mate needs and desires. I ask that my mate be made into the person God planned for them to be and into the mate I need and desire. In Acts 7:60 Steven says, "Lay not this sin to his charge." In Luke 23:34 Jesus says, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do. Matthew 6:15 tells us that if we do not forgive men (including your mate) their trespasses, neither will your Father in Heaven forgive you your trespasses.) AWESOME! I intercede for my mate: "Father lay not this sin to their charge. I forgive them. Loose your mercy toward them. I intercede and stand in the gap for them. Send your Holy Spirit and draw them to Jesus. Forgive them, loose them from Satans bonds. Cause their sins to be covered. Set them free. AND "I will extol the Lord at all times. His Praise shall continually be on my lips." Psalms 34:1 Jeremiah 23:29 says, "Is not My Word like fire? declares the Lord, "And like a hammer which shatters a rock?" Jimmie Ruth Matthews prayed the Word over Lorne during the years he was living with another woman. When they had reconciled, he asked the Lord, "Why didnt you kill me when I was in adultery?" The Lord answered him, "Because you were sanctified by your wife." I Corinthians 7:14 PRAYERS (God will keep His Word) II Chronicles 20:15 Thank you, Father, that the battle is not mine, but yours. "For we walk by faith, not by sight." II Corinthians 5:7 Thank you Lord for Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, lean not unto thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths." Psalm 138:8 Thank you Jesus that "Youre perfecting that which concerns me." Forgive me Father, when I, me, my, mine is more important than preferring my mate. Thank you that according to Job 33:14, you can change a persons mind while they sleep and bring back his soul from the pit. Praise you Father, that by your stripes I was healed. I Peter 2:24. I believe that included a healed marriage. Thank you Father, that "I wrestle not against flesh and blood" Ephesians 6:12. Another person in my mates life is not the problem. Their rebellion against God is the problem, and I ask you, Holy Spirit, to woo them and draw them to Jesus. I thank you Lord, that this season of sin my mate is in is no longer pleasurable to him. Thank you Father, but I really have no other option than to stand for my marriage. Ephesians 6:13 "Having done all to stand, STAND." Father, show me if I have done all. If I have, I will stand, never giving up, and watch Gods Word work. Thank you Father, that there is NO marriage too hard for you to heal when I stand on Gods Word! WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW? What is happening in our land where over half our marriages are being aborted? In fact, we had a seminar in a small town in Indiana where the divorce rate was 83 percent. Satan is seeking whom he may devour and he has covered our land with spirits of dissatisfaction, deception, delusion, adultery, enticement, and bewitchment. All of these are contagious. Hosea 4:12 says, "A spirit of prostitution leads them astray." It is hard to comprehend, but truth is "THE DECEIVED ARE DECEIVED." Pornography, through TV, magazines, and movies has become an acceptable way of life. It is a major contributing factor in most of our broken marriages. What you feed grows, and our nation is feeding on lust - lust for things and lust for sexual immorality. We have been tricked by Satan into a fast-food mentality that says: "I want it now, I cant wait. Nothing lasts, its time for a change." And we consider husbands, wives, children, and unborn babies all disposable. Psalm 12:8 says, "The wicked freely strut about when what is vile is honored among men. Malachi 2:17 says, "We have wearied the Lord by saying all who do evil are good in the eyes of the Lord and He is pleased with them." Isaiah 3:9 says, "They parade their sin like Sodom. They do not hide it. Woe to them." With eyes full of adultery, they cannot stop sinning." (II Peter 2:14) "The prophets prophesy lies, the priests rule by their own authority, and my people love it this way. But what will they do when the end comes?" (Jeremiah 5:31) Mark 10:11,12 "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." Luke 16:18 says, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery." We are concerned for the body of Christ and especially for Pastors who are approving of divorce and remarriage. Our Valley experience started when Dana began marrying divorced couples. We are not against divorced people. God loves them and we love them. But God says in Proverbs 28:13 that "He who confesseth and forsaketh his sin shall have mercy." "BLESSED IS THE MAN (WOMAN) WHO DOES NOT CONDEMN HIMSELF (HERSELF) BY WHAT HE (SHE) APPROVES." Romans 14:22 II Peter says in 2:19 that a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him. They cannot stop sinning. Addiction is the total inability to tell oneself the truth. Your mate is acting perfectly natural for someone controlled by the great deceiver and father of lies. You cant really believe anything he or she tells you. Isaiah 44:20 "A deluded heart misleads him." Their mind has gone tilt. SIN IS INSANE! Your mate cannot of himself come to the Lord, so you must intercede for his soul. The first prayer you pray is, "Lord, change me." Smith Wigglesworth said, "The only thing Im satisfied with is my dissatisfaction with me." Some of you have husbands who have completely left homes and family with no provisions. I Timothy 5:8 says that they are worse than an infidel, or unbeliever. An unbeliever can be wooed by the Holy Spirit, but a person worse off would be impossible to reach except for intercessory prayer. In Malachi 2:13-16, God comes down with a hammer on those who divorce their wives. God tells them that he no longer accepts their tithes and offerings in verse 13. He tells them that they have dealt treacherously and she is STILL their wife by covenant in verse 14. God says not one who has done so has a remnant of the Spirit in verse 15. And in verse 16, He really lays it on. He says, I HATE divorce and I HATE him who covers his garment with wrong. (NASB) We in the church would not encourage a car thief to keep the car he stole when he confesses his sin, why do we encourage a person to keep his stolen wife or husband? Jesus says in Luke 16:18, "Every man who divorces his wife and marries another woman is living with a woman who isnt his wife. And every man who marries a divorced woman is living with someone elses wife." (Anderson Bible). You can change the gender and it applies to the woman who divorces her husband. Jesus couldnt get much plainer than that. This is where intercession comes in. To intercede, we must die to self. When we are rejected, hurt, ignored, used, misunderstood, cast aside like day-old bread, we are being conformed to the image of Christ. Like Christ, we wont defend ourselves, but we submit ourselves to God. I said to the Lord once, "Im sick of being used." He instantly answered back, "Are you any better than I was?" To intercede, we must forgive because Matthew 6:15 says if we dont forgive, we have no forgiveness. Job 22:30 says, "Though he is not innocent, hell be saved through the cleanness of YOUR hands." Pray Psalm 51:10, "Create in me a clean heart, Oh Lord, and renew a right spirit within me." To intercede, we must believe God will do what He says Hell do. Romans 4:18 says, "Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed." He did not vacillate because a double-minded person receives nothing from the Lord. James 1:7-8. To intercede, we must release our mate to God and trust His Word. An intercessor had a vision of Dana completely encased in an inch-thick fishnet rope. But, an angel was hovering over him with a sword waiting on orders to cut him out. When Val cried out finally, "God, I give up! Do it your way," God cut him out in the middle of the night while he was asleep according to His Word in Job 33:14. God had told me to "Stand back, get out of my way, and watch the incredible rescue operation I will do." II Chronicles 20:17. We have been called into a ministry of standing for broken marriages. Our job is to hold arms up when they get weary and to give hope to those who have lost hope. We are not swayed by circumstances, but have complete confidence in Gods integrity to do what He promises to do. I am FULLY PERSUADED that what God has promised He is able (has the power) to perform. Romans 4:21. God hates divorce and is NOT in the marriage-breaking-up-business. He is in the marriage-healing business. We praise Him that He healed ours. PRAYERS I AM COMMITTED TO PRAISING GOD Thank you that I can give thanks in EVERYTHING for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning me. I Thess. 5:18 Praise you, Jesus, that I am a prisoner of hope, Zechariah 9:12, not a prisoner of my circumstances. Thank you that Gods Word says in Song of Solomon 8:6 that love is as strong as death. Nothing but death will break the marriage covenant I made with my mate. Praise you that since I know my marriage is healed, I will disregard the symptoms and walk beyond my sight. Because I do choose my own emotions, I praise you, Father, that I choose hope, not hopelessness, I choose Victory, not defeat. I choose life and not death. I choose love, not fear, joy, not despair. Holy Spirit, I thank you that from glory to glory youre changing me. II Corinthians 3:18 Father, I ask you to place a wall of fire around my mate and place the glory within. Zechariah 2:5 Thank you! Thank you, Jesus that you are building your resources in me to be able to receive your blessings. Thank you that whatever finances you send to me, it is enough!!! Thank you that with your help, I wont say it, Ill pray it. Praise you, Jesus, that my mate HEARS you, and according to Psalm 83:16 I pray you will "Cover their face with shame, so that they will seek your name." Thank you that I KNOW that someday I will praise your Name that you allowed me to go through this. Father, line me up with Your Word. I plead the blood of Jesus that cleanses from all sin, sorrow, and sickness, on my entire household. I know that deception is the fruit of leaning on my own understanding, so Praise and Thank you Lord, I can stand on Proverbs 3:5-6. Since the Lord is directing our paths, why do we wonder what happens along the way? Habakkuk 2:3 says "That the revelation awaits an appointed time." Thank you, Jesus, that you are never late. Genesis 50:20 tells us that the things that are meant for our harm, God always turns around for our good. I thank you, Father, that you shape every circumstance for my good according to Romans 8:28. BEYOND THE VALLEY It has been several years since our Valley experience. However, I will NEVER forget the feeling that the earth had just dropped out from under me, and I was falling through space the day Dana asked me for a divorce. I remember telling my legs to walk because I literally couldnt walk. My daughters continual declaration of "In EVERYTHING give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you" (I Thess. 5:18) made me angry, but not as angry as her statement, "Mother, SOMEDAY you will praise God He allowed you to go through this. You will need this for the ministry God has ahead of you." And she was right, but you dont enjoy hearing it when you are hurting. Now the SOMEDAY has come and we are "Beyond." We do praise God with all our heart for allowing, giving us the privilege, and trusting us to go through the valley and come out on the other side. Now it is our privilege and joy to walk others through this valley, holding up their arms when they get tired and to bring them out victorious on the other side. Then to see those who now have healed marriages walking others through the valley makes our cup of joy run over. We are often asked, "Is your marriage better now than it was before this happened?" We can truly answer, YES! We are now "One Flesh" in body and in spirit. But it didnt happen overnight. After Dana was turned around in the middle of the night according to Job 33:14, even several years later, fear would stab my heart if he was late coming home. Forgiveness comes instantly, trust takes time. A good rule of thumb is that it usually takes at least 5 years for trust to be rebuilt. Now just because you reconcile, doesnt mean your points of conflict disappear. What bothered you before in your mate, bothers you now. What changes is your reaction to conflict. As Dana says, "We have the same problems we had before the Valley, we just handle them differently." We have both decided we dont HAVE to be right. If you are right, it will eventually come out and you will wish you had kept quiet. We raised our children on this saying, "He who defends his honor soon has no honor to defend." We have both matured. In fact, Dana made the statement, "I was fifty years old before I grew up. Being mature means being more concerned for others than you are for yourself. God led us to put out this booklet "Through the Valley and Beyond." God put an anointing on it and it has blessed thousands of people. As we worked with couples and their marriages were healed, we put out brochures and told their story. We have nine brochures out now. We estimate we have printed over 15,000 of them. We made several tapes and have given away thousands of them. In 1994, we wrote a book, New Hope for Broken Marriages. The most important thing about our book is that the Holy Spirit anointed it. It has been a blessing to many, many people. We have a telephone ministry to standers all over the United States and in several foreign countries. We just stand back amazed at what God has done with our lives. What thrills us the most is when someone calls and tells us the material in our book and brochures helped heal their or somebody elses marriage. Yes, we have seen many, many marriages healed. Some of them have seemed impossible, but the secret is knowing that God who promised to do it, WILL DO IT! I like the little saying a friend sent me: GOOD MORNING! THIS IS GOD! I WILL BE HANDLING ALL YOUR PROBLEMS TODAY, I WILL NOT NEED YOUR HELP. SO HAVE A GOOD DAY! I Thess. 5:24 says, "Faithful is He that calleth you, who also WILL DO IT." When that becomes Rhema Word to you, you just wait for God to perform His Word. Without wavering, doubting, fearing, complaining, murmuring, you believe what you know, not what you see. James 1 tells us that a double-minded man receives nothing from the Lord. Our brochures and book tell stories of men and women who divorced their mates and then remarried them. There are stories where the mate married someone else, even had children by someone else, and then divorced to remarry their covenant wife. Whatever happens, Never, Never, Never Give Up!!! Now you work out the salvation of your home and family with fear and trembling, long suffering, forbearing one another, caring, forgiving, loving unconditionally, preferring one another, with all the fruits of the spirit working through you to heal and make whole your reconciled marriage. BLESSED IS THE MAN THAT TRUSTETH IN THE LORD, AND WHOSE HOPE THE LORD IS. JEREMIAH 17:7 AND HOPE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT US. ROMANS 5:5 VALS PROMISES Prov. 11:21 The seed of the righteous SHALL be delivered. And I can be VERY sure that God will rescue the children of the Godly. Matt. 17:17 Jesus says "Bring ______ here to me." Psalm 45:19 HE fulfills the desires of those who reverence and trust HIM. He hears their cries for help and rescues ________. Jer. 33:3 Call on me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you dont know of. Matt. 7:7 Ask, and it SHALL be given you, seek and ye SHALL find, knock and it SHALL be opened unto you. Matt. 18:19 Again I say unto you, that if two of you (Dana and Val) _____&_____ shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in Heaven. Matt. 21:22 And ALL things whatever you ask in prayer (_____) believing, you WILL receive. Mark 9:23 EVERYTHING (_____) is possible to him who believes. Mark 11:24 Therefore I say unto you, what things soever ye desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them and you SHALL have them. John 15:7 IF you abide in me, and my words abide in you, you shall ask what you will, and it SHALL be done unto you. John 16:24 Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name. Ask and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full. Rom. 4:17-18 Abraham calleth those things which be not as though they were, (verse 21) and being FULLY PERSUADED that, what HE had promised He was also able to perform. 1 Jn 5:14,15 If you ask Anything according to MY Will and I hear you, and you KNOW that I hear you, you have your petition as your present possession. REJOICE EVERMORE! PRAY WITHOUT CEASING! IN EVERYTHING GIVE THANKS FOR THIS IS THE WILL OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS CONCERNING YOU. 1 Thes. 5:16,17,18\

Healed Marriage Testimony Jensen's

Bob & Conchita Jensen Testimony After hearing from so many of our standers that Bob and Conchita was their favorite testimony tape of a restored marriage, I decided that I would like to make a brochure from the tape. I called Conchita to ask permission to write their story, and she very graciously gave it. I know many of you will say, "Thats me," as you read their story. We pray this brochure will be a blessing to you. Bob begins their testimony. I want to say that the reason were here to tell our story is not that weve done anything special. Its just that without his grace and his mercy in my life, I wouldnt be sitting here. Our prayer is, "What you have done in us, somehow use these imperfect vessels to reach out and touch other peoples lives." We are a healed marriage and we give all the glory to God. Our testimony is different than most in that I not only left my wife and divorced her, I got into adultery and married somebody else. I then divorced again and remarried Conchi. She prefers to use the word legal adultery rather than marriage, because it was never recognized in Gods eyes. Conchi was standing on the covenant she made at our marriage. Conchi tells her story. I was born in Madrid, Spain, and was raised in the church all my life. I really felt I was a Christian. Bob was in the Air Force there when we met and got married in 1965. For years, we felt we really had a good marriage, and we did. We never had strife in our marriage, and our children grew up in a very peaceful home. We were very active in our church and everyone said, "Bob and Conchita have a perfect marriage." But sometimes I felt empty. I said, "God, what is it? I have a wonderful husband, two children, a dog, a fence, and a nice home. What is going on?" I would tell myself that I should be grateful that my husband doesnt drink, run around, etc. Bob was having problems too, but we didnt confide in each other. Every time a marriage falls apart, I believe it is because of Satans plan to destroy the home. But God uses what Satan intends for harm for our good. I thought I was a Christian, but the night Bob left me, a friend brought me a booklet about marriage healing, and I accepted the Lord as my personal Savior. I instantly had a supernatural peace that never left. I had no family in this country to give me support; I had no job, and I was very dependent upon my husband in every area of my life. I had a phobia. I was scared to death to drive, and Bob had to drive me everyplace (God healed me of that, Praise the Lord). Now I had no options; I had to trust God and no one else. When Bob came back home to check on me three days later, he expected me to be a wreck, but I answered the door with "Oh Hi, Honey, how are you doing? He said to himself, "What is going on here?" Bob wasnt always able to pay child support, and I decided that if I could trust Jesus for the healing of my marriage, I could trust him for my finances. God found a job for me, and I found three Christian couples who became very close friends. Bob was involved with someone else, but he came back home six months after he left and stayed for a year. It was quite an adjustment for him. I was saved and did not cling to him like I did before. I had my self-worth in Christ. All my insecurities were gone. Bob had always told me to become more independent and not to be so clinging to him. When this actually happened he became jealous of God. Since we had been married for fifteen years and his wife changed from dependent to independent, it was really hard for Bob to understand. Plus . . . I made some boo-boos. It isnt a good idea to read the Bible when youre in bed with your husband, and he is unsaved. Its also not a good idea to listen to 700 Club when hes home, but I did. You may be on fire for the Lord, but dont flaunt it before your unsaved husband. This built a wall between us. When he left the second time and filed for divorce, the Lord said, "let go, and let me do it my way." So I said, "Whatever it takes, Lord, whatever it takes." When you pray that prayer, be ready. You cannot hang on to your nice house, your nice car, and getting your marriage healed the way you want it. Its going to be done Gods way, and He may have to do a work in your own life. Do not focus on the sins of your partner because when you do that, you become self-righteous. Just focus on Christ. I stood for my marriage for five and a half years while God did a work in MY life. Bob continues. Now for my side of the story. I had always gone to church, and I really felt I knew a lot about who Jesus was. After fifteen years of a model marriage, it was very evident to me that there was a big hole within me. I searched for what was open and available to me in the world. My intentions were good because I wanted to create a better life for my wife and children. I bought into the lie that if I could only have this or that, things would be much better. All of a sudden, I fell into a trap. I could blame others, but I made the choice to commit adultery. I went out and decided there was something a little bit better out there and left Conchi. Romans 8:28 tells us that God works everything for our good and He used my mistakes. After being home for a year, I still wasnt saved, and that emptiness was still there. As a Christmas present, I told her I was leaving her and getting a divorce . . . and I did. I got involved with a neighbor lady, and to make matters worse, I took my daughter with me and lived with this woman for a year. But I couldnt stay away from Conchi. I would come back home every few days, or once a week with the excuse, "I came to see the children." I did have a good relationship with them. My daughter was with me; our son was with her. But in truth, I came home to see Conchi. I had to psyche myself up to be disagreeable. But, she would irk me to no end. She always greeted me with a smile and would always let me know she loved me and would encourage me. I finally reached the point where my guilt was almost unbearable. I just knew that my sin was too much for Conchi to ever be able to forgive. I knew our marriage could never work out the way I wanted it to work out. One day she blew me away. I came by to see the children, and she said she had to ask my forgiveness. She told me she had had me up on a pedestal and that it wasnt fair to me. She told me she had made mistakes and she had spiritual pride and a lot of other things. That really did something to me, and something began working in my mind. I went home and began to throw myself into my work. I decided that it was about time for me to go find someone else since I had broken up with my neighbor, and so I did. She happened to be almost young enough to be my daughter. Conchita would never let me say I "married" this woman. She would always say I legalized my adultery in the eyes of the world, but not in the eyes of God. In the midst of this adulterous marriage, I got saved. But, I was helpless. By the way, that relationship began to fall apart before the honeymoon was over. In desperation, I gave my heart to Christ one Sunday morning. Everything went downhill from there. I was so hungry for God. I would go to every Bible study I could find and ask about Gods word. But, I would almost inevitably go to Conchi. I would call her on the phone when the alien wasnt home. I would call during work and ask her questions about God's Word. She always told me the uncompromising truth. She still believed our marriage would be healed but I thought, after all Im saved now, God loves me too and Im in another marriage. This relationship was in trouble and I began standing for my "marriage." My daughter told Conchi that our church was praying for our marriage. Conchi said "Praise the Lord, Dad only has one marriage in the eyes of God." As I was reading 1 Corinthians 7:20, my eyes fell on the verse that says that each one should remain in the situation hes in when God calls him. I remember throwing my Bible on the bed and jumping up and down and shouting, "Hallelujah, I knew it, I knew it!! Im right where God wants me to be." That shows you that Satan will even use the Scriptures to deceive us. The scripture wasnt talking about marriages there. God would never tell you if youre in adultery, stay there. Conchi shares that as she stood for her marriage, probably 90% of the people she knew had no idea what she was doing! And, they were Christians. They would say, "Poor Conchi, some day she will wake up. She is sure out in left field." Even my own pastor had no idea what I was doing. He thought one day I would wake up to reality. But be careful how you share your stand. Pray for others to have revelation in the area of standing. Dont hit them over the head with your stand. Some people stand for six months, some a year, some six years, some more. It is important to establish at the beginning of your stand that you have no other option. If you dont you will get discouraged and quit. Some standers choose not to allow God to do a work in them. They just want God to do a work in their mate. This is not a healthy stand, and I believe there will be marriages God wants to heal but because of the attitude of the stander, they wont be healed. The important thing is that we have to be sold out to Jesus. Jesus wants our marriage healed more than we do. You have to choose to forgive your mate. Sometimes I would lock myself in my room and tell the Lord, "Im not coming out until I forgive Bob." About four months before Bob left the other woman, I had given him some material about healed marriages, thinking that he would apply it to our marriage. Bob used this same material to stand for his adulterous marriage. That was a dirty trick Satan pulled on me. He whispered to me that I might as well give up. Bob was a Christian now, standing for his marriage, and I was the fool. I was driving the car, and I jammed on the brakes, stopped the car, and yelled at Satan, "I am a spiritual bull-dog. I have the covenant of my marriage in my teeth, and I will never let go till death do us part." I felt Satan leave. There were a lot of ups and downs as Conchis and my marriage was restored. December 1, 1984, I received an indication from my alien wife that she wanted our marriage to work. She had moved to another state, so I packed up everything and left to be with her. Im not proud of what I did. I was willing to leave my children, my church, my home, EVERYTHING, to follow her. I had my lifes belongings in a trailer. I was on such a high. I was on my way to reconcile with the alien. Gods hand had to be in this. It took me eight or nine hours to get to her home. But as soon as I hit her town, everything began to unravel. I find it difficult to even talk about it now. For thirty days, I went through the closest thing to Hell that I have ever experienced in my life. Everything I had ever done to Conchi, I had done to me. I was stripped of everything, my finances, my job, my health. I lost forty pounds in thirty days. I couldnt eat; I couldnt sleep. Literally, I fell apart. On New Years Eve 1984, I was alone in the house. I was able to talk the doctor into giving me some sleeping pills. Im a fighter; Ive always been a fighter, so this was so unlike me, but I was whipped. During the last thirty days, I had been spending most of my time on my knees, but that New Years Eve night, I grabbed a glass of water and those pills. I was standing in the kitchen, and all the lights were out. I looked up and said, "God if youre real, Youre going to have to do something NOW." About that time, I felt something hit the back of my knees, and I collapsed on the kitchen floor. I knew somebody hit me, yet I was alone in that house. The pills went one direction, the glass of water the other, and as I hit the floor I heard God speak to me. "Bob, its time to go home." That was all I heard God say, and I dont have any idea how long I lay on that floor and bawled. The rest of the night I was oblivious to everything except my time with the Lord. The next day I called Conchi and said, "Its all over." She didnt have the slightest idea what I was talking about. I explained to her the adulterous situation was over, and I was leaving. I had no money; I had no place to go; I had no job; and I didnt even have my health. I filed all the necessary papers to get a divorce, and in three days I was pulling into my buddys yard at 10 oclock at night. I went right over to Conchis, and the first thing I said to her was, "I want you to know something, I dont want to be here." I was being totally honest with her. I let her know I didnt WANT to be there, but I HAD to be there. She was very loving and and kind to me. I was able to live with some good Christian friends. For eight months, Conchi and I were good friends and had beautiful fellowship. We talked about the Word. All I wanted at that point was my relationship with my Lord. One day I was out at the lake walking down to the dock when I heard the voice of God again. His voice was loud and clear. "I want you to go and ask Conchi to marry you." I stopped dead in my tracks. I literally looked up at God and said, "God, you have got to be joking! How can you ask me to marry Conchi when I dont have any physical feelings for her whatsoever? I love her, and I love the fellowship that we have, and she is the mother of my children, and she is very important and dear to me, but I dont feel anything for her. God asked me, "Have you not been walking in obedience, trusting me up to now? Do what I say, and I will restore the feelings." Ill tell you something, asking Conchi to marry me was one of the hardest things I ever did. We had nothing. I went from making $40,000 one year to $100 a week for three months of the next year. That was part of my stripping. God knew that part of my life had to go. The Lord supplied absolutely everything, and twenty years, almost to the day, after our first marriage, Conchi and I renewed our vows. I cried many, many times after I came back home. I told Conchi, "I know God has forgiven me, and I know you have forgiven me. But I still have to face the consequences of what I did." One consequence was that our children were really hurt emotionally by what I did. I want everybody to understand this. When you see the husband or wife doing their thing out in the world, believe what the Word of God says, not what you see. I want to tell you from my own experience, they are in hell. They dont realize it, but they are in hell, and they are hurting, and they are lost, and they are confused. I know how much of a jerk I was, better than anybody. I could portray anything on the outside to whomever, but deep inside, all the time, there was that little ember that said, "This is wrong." Had Conchi reacted to her flesh and chewed me out when I deserved it, it would have been a lot worse. I can emphatically say that it was her persistent commitment that moved me more than anything else. And her prayers . . . I cant tell you how much I could feel her prayers for me. I always knew when she was praying. I love my wife now more than I have ever loved her. I remarried Conchi out of obedience to God, but God was true to His promise, and He has restored my feelings beyond my wildest dream. According to 1 John 5:14, 15, the prayers you pray do not go unanswered, and if they are according to Gods will, we know we have what we have asked. There is only one alternative for your mate if you keep praying. Bob and Conchita Jensen Used with Permission

REPENT HIS TRUTH NEVER CHANGES! "Repent"

Dear Brothers and Sisters, After being disturbed deeply by God all night, with little sleep, I come to you in fear and trembling. Like others perhaps put in your way before, I have been called to warn you of pending disaster, or else be personally blamed by Him if I don't. Your blood will be on my hands if I don't speak, and on your own hands if you don't listen. I am not kidding, exaggerating or being melodramatic. This is direct, serious and of immediate importance to you. Even if you scoff, or don't like me and my kind, it doesn't matter, for I beg you on my knees to listen to what God has said. This is not for the unsaved, it's for you if you call yourself a Christian. Please go to this link and listen to the third last message from the bottom of the page called "Repent". http://www.marriagedivorce.com/messages.php You may say (before you hear), I have already done that, and the Blood of Jesus covers me. No! Don't say that, but GO and Listen first. Afterward, write me at stephen@marriagedivorce.com and I will send you the message "Turn" not published here. It takes off from where "Repent" lands. We will work together as long as it takes. You may call me a radical, or even a heretic but you can't rightfully say either, or fairly think that way until you listen, and hear what the Spirit says to you. Please, stop what you are doing and listen. It's a short message, and God will give you the time. Please, for His sake. http://www.marriagedivorce.com/messages.php Third from the bottom, called "Repent". Chaplain Stephen

The Nehemiah Project International COME JOIN US THERE!!!!

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Nehemiah-Project-International/215999515270472 PRAYERS ON OUR FACES AND KNEES IN THIS LATTER HOUR 1/2-1 HOUR PER DAY OR MORE!! FASTING AND PRAYING....More info to come. PLEASE JOIN US WORLDWIDE! PRAY!! Nehemiah Challenge Pray for 1 hour per day • Repent o Repent for all known and unknown sin. Ask the Father to reveal to you the areas of your life that you are offending Him. o Repent for the sins of your household and your fathers household • REBUKE the Enemy o Command and speak directly to the enemy and command him to stop blinding your eyes in the areas that you are deceived in and don’t know it. This is CRITICAL as you may be being influenced by the enemy and not even know it! o Bind all Generational Curses, close all gates that were opened through traumatic events in your life, and repent for all personal sins. o Go through the areas of struggle and one by one remind him that he has no authority or power in your life and that he has no right to steal one blessing from your life. • Praise o Praise Him for who He is and for all He has done. Praise His holy name. Praise Him for where you are at in life, no matter how victorious or defeated you feel. Thank him for the opportunity to get to know Him more. Thank Him for all He has shown you so far in your spiritual journey. Tell Him what a privilege it is to sacrifice and suffer for Him and that there is no way to come close to the sacrifice and suffering that His own Son did for us. o Praise Him for providing your daily needs and provision § Be detailed § Be passionate. It matters! § Ps 145-150 is excellent for proclaiming our praise to Him. • Ask Him what you should pray about. o Often we jump right into what we want to pray about without even consulting the one who knows our needs! o Listen for His voice in the quiet moment o Petition His throne the things He begins to bring up in your spirit. Pray His will and His glory in each situation • Pray For Your Life § The number one thing you should pray for is WISDOM. Without it nothing else matters. It is what Solomon asked for and through it he was able to lead an entire kingdom. Finances, relationships and all other aspects of life are dependent on having the mind of YHWH. Beg and plead for it like water! • Pro 3:13 Happy is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding; 14 For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver, and her gain than fine gold. 15 She is more precious than rubies, and all the things you may desire cannot compare with her. § Pray for the Fear of God. • Pro 1: 7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, • Pro 8: 13 The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate. • Pro 15: 16 Better is a little with the fear of the Lord, than great treasure with trouble. § Pray for Understanding, Discernment, Knowledge • Pro 2: 3 Yes, if you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding, 4 If you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; 5 Then you will understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God. § Pray that He will reveal and grow your spiritual gifts § Pray that He will destroy any pride in your life

What hurts the most...just like the song by Rascal Flatts :/

So what hurts the most as the world around you including mislead pastors & leadership continue to invite you to "move on" from your first Cov mate of your youth. While you very well knowingly are obeying the Lord to remain single & that you know in your heart as well as see it in the Word that you are not free to remarry. Does it get any easier year after year? The answer-my personal answer is no. It doesn't. As a matter of fact I've written about this before. Feb. Is another hard month for me because it happens to be my husbands birthday early in this month. He's never far from thoughts or prayers anyways. You know that if you are Standing. Just like the lyrics of the song "What hurts the most" would be those unspoken words to each other in which other people simply stood in the way. Those moments that you would have said such & such at so & so timeframes given the chance leading...perhaps extra courage in not failing the mission. Not only were those thoughts and even perhaps those failed plans of action were looking back were indeed planted by a real enemy who family after family. Marriage after marriage continues to rage on in this war for your beloveds soul as well as mine. No exceptions to the rule. This war for Godly cov marriages just like abortion is a killer to a person(s) destiny so is adultery to a lost soul or souls. Putting a ring on it or blurring it out the past so to speak and "moving on" as they say doesn't solve a thing. As a matter of fact it makes things much worse. Not just for the children involved but involving another person into the picture forces an unnatural and unnecessary 3rd and sometimes when a Stander falls into that same pitfall there is a 4th unnecessary person. This doesn't include added relatives that aren't according to the bloodline the Lord intended. Many would argue the fact and then justify this action And sin called remarriage. In Gods Kingdom we are bound to that mate for life until death do they part. No exceptions to Gods rule. What sealed the deal...God, witnesses As well as a cov. Scriptural bond with NO escape clause. That clause was found in the betrothal period not after marriage. The Church of today is in grave error. Proverbs 5 leads to the grave. Your prayers for your one flesh mate is so important. Please continue to fight this good fight in prayer as well as fasting. May you know that the Lord hears & answers your prayers too in this latter season. You may still be hurting yet the Lord is using you to turn others away from seperation or divorce. Your journey has not and will not ever be wasted. If you choose a different course right now knowing what you know about standing for your marriage & remarriage expect God to deal with you. He is final judge & jury. Why would you want extra judgment in a day and age where we are going to see Him soon face to face? Do you still believe? Do you need more prayer? More encouragers to cheer you on to victory? Please know even IF I don't know who you are or where you are the Lord does! If you are Standing for your 1st cov.marriage know that I and many like me are praying them home daily. So what hurts the most is watching others get SO close to restoration of their 1st marriages and then throwing it all away. Our marriages are made by His design. He has a big plan and purpose for our marriages even in the process of the restoration period. Remain steadfast and faithful to the end. If for nothing else but obeying God. Please do this for your mates salvation as well as breaking off sin cycles and ongoing generational curses-cycles. Remember God choose YOU Stand strong even if you are currently hurting and wondering how long. The latter days are promised to be greater! Be watchful & sober. He is with us! He sees the "Big Picture". Trust Him enough in letting Him in putting the puzzle pieces together all for HIS GLORY! Amen We shall SEE His Glory! Just believe & look to Him for all that you are in need of not in greed of today. He will meet you right where you are at today. If you are in a 2nd or 3rd non cov.marriage consider it not strange that the Lord is and has been leading you out. He wants you to remain rightly and teachable again putting that event that never should have taken place (even if there are children born). Get out while you still can. Judgments going to fall on our nations. Be 100% sure you are pure repented with a Godly sorrow. God knows all and sees all. Stop trying to fix that relationship that's been broken from the beginning. Its time to send someone flees mate HOME AGAIN! Be set free from the bondage of darkness. Many are worldly and won't tell you the truth...why because they have justified their ongoing sin as well as know many others. They think they are rightfully justified in Being with someone else s mate who still living. Its Biblical not to be free to remarry. Be sure to point that out to the person you are about to depart from Or the people who don't yet see. Imagine your rewards in Heaven. Many may follow your example. Be of great boldness & courage. Hurt no more from that relationship be set completely free in this hour. Heaven rejoices along with you. You'll see a weight lifted off from you soon. God bless you for your obedience. Sorry this hasn't yet been edited. Blessings beloved.