Les immediately saw the change in Cindy and knew that what she had experienced was real; Les received Jesus as his personal Savior on November 10, 1985 and was baptized in the Holy Spirit in February, 1986. Les & Cindy were water baptized together on December 8, 1985. Cathy, at five years of age, accepted Jesus in September of 1985 and Lathan, at the age of four, accepted Jesus in October of 1987. The Lord IMMEDIATELY started working in their family by drawing them more and more out of the world and trying to renew their minds! One of the first "major" things that God required out of them was to homeschool their children. So, in September of 1986, being the first in their school district, they started homeschooling. Cathy has since graduated in June of 1998 and Lathan will in June of 2001. THEY WERE ONE HAPPY FAMILY! THEY WERE ATTENDING CHURCH FAITHFULLY TOGETHER AND IT SEEMED THAT LIFE COULD NEVER BE BETTER! Members of Les' family also started building homes. Les felt that it was only right that he help them, since they had so graciously, helped to build theirs. (Remember, Les wasn't saved when building their house.) So, he found himself NOT attending church...then not praying...then...not in the Word. Meanwhile, Cindy had become president and founder of the DeKalb County American Family Association and was giving speeches at different churches around the county as to the dangers of pornography and THE DESTRUCTION TO FAMILIES THAT IT CAUSES! (ARE YOU SEEING YET, HOW SLY THE DEVIL WORKS?...Weakening and isolating Les, and Cindy out trying to save the world from porn while her family is crumbling!) Cindy and the kids continued to attend church "every time the church doors were open" and busied themselves with the "things of the Lord", while, Les, on the other hand, was working fulltime in the factory and fulltime all weekend away from Cindy and the kids. Without ever even realizing it, there had become a BREACH between them; they were living in two different worlds with different priorities! Cindy felt that Les just "didn't get it" with spiritual things, and Les thought that there must be someone out there who needed him. Les found himself being razzed by guys at work about his wife being against pornography. With Les no longer being in the Word or in church, he found himself not wanting the things of God any more. He was embarrassed by Cindy's "spirituality" and wanted to disassociate himself with her, with righteousness and with God! THE VALLEY Les began the testimony. I was the one who took off. We were married in 1979 and have two kids. Cindy and I got saved in 1985, and you would think that all of our problems would be over, and we would have a fine Christian marriage. Well, in 1990, I got other ideas and decided that I didn't want to be married anymore or have any responsibility for my kids. I didn't think that I loved Cindy, and I told her that I wanted a divorce. Cindy has always been very physical in our relationship, but I didn't want Cindy anymore. She was busy as the president of the American Family Association in our county. She was always busy doing something or going someplace. I told myself that Cindy didn't need me, and that I needed someone who did. At the place where I worked, there was a woman who seemed to be helpless and needed someone to take care of her. That's how I got started on the road to adultery. It's true what Les just said. When I got saved in 1985, I poured myself into working for the Kingdom of God. I was out there "working for the Lord", homeschooling our kids... on the weekends, I was off with Operation Rescue, or at a speaking engagement for A.F.A., or "busy" in the church. As far as I knew, we had a wonderful marriage. We didn't argue, we didn't fight, and I trusted Les. When we first started through the valley, people would ask me, "Is there someone else?" I would answer adamantly, "NO WAY!! You don't know my husband. There's NO WAY that Les would do that. He's NOT like that!!" I knew, that I knew, that I knew, that there was NOT someone else. On May 30, 1990, Les came home, crawled into bed and said, "I WANT A DIVORCE!" I looked into his eyes and saw such hatred that I knew he wasn't kidding. He did not look like my Les. The valley lasted for about a year and a half, and he didn't look like my Les during that entire time. His eyes were dark. He got into wearing designer clothing. He started working out and lost a lot of weight. He got a different hairstyle. He became a person that I didn't even know. He told me - what will sound familiar to thousands of women who have heard these same words from their husbands - "I DON'T LOVE YOU; I HAVE NEVER LOVED YOU; WE WERE TOO YOUNG WHEN WE GOT MARRIED; WE WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED." I asked him, "What about the kids?" His answer was cold, hard, and uncaring; "YOU SHELTER THEM TOO MUCH!! KIDS ALL OVER THE WORLD GO THROUGH THIS AND HANDLE IT. OURS WILL TOO!!" I went upstairs, got on the phone and called my mom, my sisters and my pastor and asked for prayer. I asked them to pray that God would give me the gift of faith to believe for my marriage. AND GOD DID!!! From that time on, God would encourage me by saying to me, "I AM THE GOD OF ALL FLESH, IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR ME? MY ARM IS NOT TOO SHORT OR MY EAR DEAF THAT I DO NOT HEAR!" I remember Him asking me, "ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE THE WORDS OF A MERE MAN, OR THE WORD OF ALMIGHTY GOD!!!" WE are the ones who limit God! That day, May 30, 1990, I resigned from everything. The minute I knew Les was serious, NOTHING was important to me but my marriage. God burned into me, in a matter of seconds, what my priorities were: my husband and my children! He showed me that as I served my husband, I was serving Jesus Christ. As I loved my husband, I was loving Jesus Christ because Les is my lord here on this earth. God was showing me that although it looked like Les was the one in the sin right now, He had JUST as much work to do in ME! I didn't know whether the walk would take ten months or ten years, or whether there would be a "divorce" or not. I just knew that GOD WOULD BE FAITHFUL!!! "Now it seems ridiculous," Les continues, "but even when I was committing adultery, I still called myself a Christian. I even prayed, 'Lord if this is not Your will, make something happen to make the "strange woman" leave.' She didn't leave, so I said, 'Hey, this is what I am going to do, since it must be okay with God.'" Cindy and I live out in the country on land that we bought from her mom and dad, who live next door. At first, I moved in with my brother, then I made Cindy and the kids leave our home and I moved into it with the strange woman. I told Cindy to get everything out of the house because anything left was going to get burned! I was starting a "new" life, WITHOUT Cindy, the kids, or "our" stuff. They moved in with Cindy's parents and could look out the kitchen window and see me with the strange woman in the yard. I didn't know why I felt uncomfortable in my own home, until I found out later that Cindy had anointed our house, land and the four corners of our property and would walk, at night in her parent's lane, praying. The strange woman would get bored with me and feel uncomfortable in my home and take off. In fact, she left me three times, and three times I kicked my wife and children out of our home. All it took was one phone call from her, after she would leave, to get me back on her hook. She was like a magnet which I couldn't resist. We would get back together, and I would tell Cindy to get out of the house. As all these things were happening with Les, I cried out to the Lord. I didn't know anything about "standing" for a marriage. The Word became more alive to me than ever before. The Lord would tell me, throughout the valley, things that were going to happen before they even did. He told me, in Isaiah 57:18&19, that HE WOULD HEAL LES. The day that I received the divorce papers was one of the hardest days of the valley. Throughout the valley, if I was not in the Word, if I did not have praise music - that was the WORD OF GOD - if I did not have the presence of God surrounding me, it was like my heart was being put on hot coals or fire, and I couldn't pull it away. There was a real, physical pain, and IT HURT!! The moment I would get back into the presence of God, it was like soothing oil or ointment being poured over me. I could feel HIS HEALING POWER!!! I had to come into the presence of God EVERY day and get rid of unforgiveness. I couldn't afford to harbor anger and let it pile up. Each day I had to allow the POWER OF FORGIVENESS in my life. I would cry out to the Lord and say, "I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM!" But, because of God's healing power, I would then find myself crying out, "I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM!" God explained to me how I needed to watch my words. I needed to be kind and gentle. When I would see Les, I was not to harp; I was not to manipulate. This was GOD'S BATTLE, and I was to back off, intercede and trust God to do the work in my husband. While He was doing a work in my husband, He was going to do a work in ME! He wanted to teach me to hear His voice and to really learn to TRUST Him as my Sovereign, Heavenly Father. I knew that God was telling me that Les and I were truly one flesh. One flesh cannot go in two directions at the same time! He told me to STAND, WATCH, and WAIT to see HIM draw Les back. I knew that if the divorce went through - in the natural realm - that God was telling me that those "papers" meant NOTHING! What GOD joined together would STAY together, even if it didn't LOOK like it! My sister-in-law gave me a pamphlet, that she came across, entitled "Through The Valley" by Dana & Val Hartong. When I read it, I knew I wasn't loony. I knew I wasn't crazy. I realized that I wasn't alone, and I called and talked to Val. She encouraged me because God had spoken to my heart a lot of the same Scriptures that were in their pamphlet. During this time of the valley, Les appeared to be "having a great time". He didn't need me, or want me. He acted as though he thought he could have any woman in the world that he wanted. He was a macho acting, hard, mean, man. But from the beginning of the valley, the Lord told me, DON'T GO BY WHAT YOU SEE WITH YOUR EYES OR BY WHAT YOU HEAR WITH YOUR EARS!" Well, God gave me a vision of what was really going on with Les. What the Lord showed me was Les, like a little child, huddled up in a hump in a corner, bound with chains, whimpering and crying, with powers of darkness surrounding him and taunting him. He was hurting and needed help; HE NEEDED SET FREE!! By our human, natural eyesight, Les was a man who didn't need anybody; a man who could take care of himself and who appeared to finally KNOW what he wanted out of life. But GOD said otherwise!! Like Les said, the kids and I were kicked out of our home three different times. I have had wonderful Christian people, and even pastors, tell me that, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" "THREE TIMES OF BEING KICKED OUT OF YOUR HOME IS ENOUGH!" "YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH BEING TREATED LIKE THAT!" "GOD HAS SOMEONE BETTER FOR YOU!" "YOU DESERVE BETTER!" "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT LES BACK?" But what God said was, "Cindy, how many times will I forgive YOU? Do I set a limit - three times and you're out? How far was I willing to go, and how much was I willing to do for YOU?" The Lord asked me...if I wasn't willing to intercede and fight spiritual warfare for Les, then who would? It was as if Les had gotten himself ensnared in a spider's web - and we know that once a victim is caught in one it cannot free itself, but someone could CUT it free! The Lord taught me that intercessory prayer and standing in the authority of Jesus and on the Word of God was what was going to cut Les free from the snare that he was tangled in! God showed me that what the enemy meant for harm, God would use for good. - He's in the salvaging business! - PRAISE GOD! In the natural realm, Les' and my marriage looked totally, hopelessly, destroyed. As I would try to share with others what was really going on and what God was doing, I could see the look in their eyes saying..."Poor Cindy, she just can't face reality! Doesn't she know how much Les doesn't want her anymore? Can't she see how happy Les is now? Doesn't she see how she is building up false hopes in the kids by not facing the truth? Doesn't she realize how arrogant she sounds? She needs to just let go and get on with her life!" But God said that we were on the road of CONSTRUCTION and NOT the road of destruction! When a new, beautifully, smooth, paved highway is constructed, it first went through a time of appearing destroyed. It had to go through that phase to become the beautifully, completed road that now thousands are able to travel upon. We, as Christians, walk by FAITH not by sight, and God was teaching me this firsthand! I remember having to keep the Word of God - which is our shield and buckler - in front of me at all times because the enemy would come in and try to attack me with doubt. I would feel like I was sinking in a hopeless pit and the pain would become almost unbearable until I would SPEAK FORTH WHAT GOD HAD TOLD ME!!! His Word is what got me - us - through!!! God said, "Cindy, if Les was sick and delirious in the hospital and you and the kids went to see him, and he yelled at you, 'GET OUT, I DON'T NEED YOU, I DON'T LOVE YOU, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN,' would you believe him? Would you take the kids and leave and never go back again? No, you would understand that, under the condition that he was in, he didn't know what he was saying. Now he is SPIRITUALLY sick and you are fighting for his ETERNAL healing, and his ETERNAL salvation is first and foremost. Even if you didn't have My promises for marriage, would you still intercede and lay your life down, until he comes back to Me? Are you willing to do that to save his soul from eternal hell?" It wasn't easy; I knew that there wasn't anything more important than to obey what the Father was asking of me. But it was hard; and yet He made it possible because He was my biggest cheerleader! THANK YOU, JESUS!!! My mission was to be willing to serve Jesus NO MATTER WHAT and to fight spiritual warfare for Les' salvation. GOD had the PLAN. HE had the STRATEGY. It was no longer a battle for a marriage as much as it was for a husband's soul! I treated Cindy like dirt during the valley and she would turn the other cheek. I guess it was greed, but I thought that if I got rid of Cindy and the kids, I would have more money. BUT GOD HAD OTHER THINGS IN MIND! Every time that I thought that I would have some money for the strange woman and myself, something would happen! I wrecked my brother's motorcycle, my well went out, my lawnmower's motor blew up. When Cindy found out that I had NO FOOD in the house, and had been eating only plain spaghetti noodles, she brought me some meatloaves and cheesecake. Cindy loved me even though I treated her like dirt. At one point, during the valley, I remember telling Cindy that I didn't know what REAL love was. I had quit attending church and had reached a point where I didn't want anything to do with God. But God will reach down where we are. God used a secular movie to show me that NOBODY would love me like Cindy; NOBODY can raise our kids like Cindy and I, and we needed to be together as a family. I wouldn't go to God, so He came to me! Cindy continued: During my valley experience, a friend sent me an excerpt from a book that she was reading. God used it to encourage me daily, along with His Word. As I would read, "Look not back. Keep thy face toward the sunrise, for He shall rise fresh daily in thy soul with healing in His wings," it was as if God was pouring cool, healing oil over my spirit. I knew God had a work to do in MY life and He was telling me that the sooner I learned what He was trying to teach me, the sooner it would be over and Les would be healed. I had to WAIT, TRUST and BELIEVE and NOT look at what I saw with my eyes, or heard with my ears. I was to look through the Spirit's eyes, and stand on God's Word and see the VICTORY. I learned that what PEOPLE thought and said wasn't important, only what GOD said was! FAITH SEES the promise, SEES the mountain moved, and hears God say YES! Praise God, the divorce never went through and Les has been HEALED and SET FREE!!! When I went through the valley, God made many promises to me and gave me many prophecies that He would fulfill. One of them was that our valley experience would be used to help others and we would stand before people and give our testimony and that the "nations would know". He is truly Faithful, for this has been fulfilled today! ALL GLORY GOES TO GOD!!! CONCLUSION The Lord has used Les & Cindy's testimony - through audio & video tapes, booklets, and website - to reach other hurting people. They have been blessed to be asked, and to share their testimony at speaking engagements and on Christian television. During the valley, when Cindy would get down and self-pity would try to set in, the Lord would speak to her heart that this valley experience was NOT just for Les and her but for others. Others would be helped out of their valley through Les and Cindy's testimony and encouragement. The Lord spoke to Cindy in Ezekiel 36:8, "But ye, O mountains of Israel, ye shall shoot forth your branches, and yield your fruit to my people of Israel; for they are at hand to come." The Lord also revealed to Cindy in Isaiah 61:11 & 62:10 that the "nations" (people), would hear of their valley experience and through this, a standard would be raised and righteousness and praise would come forth. She had no idea how God would accomplish this, especially since Les dislikes traveling. To bring Glory to God and to share His faithfulness - since Les and Cindy spoke, they have received phone calls, e-mails & letters for prayer from across the United States and around the world. Marriages have been healed by the power of God since the valley, and all Glory goes to Him!!! The Lord has led them to call this prayer and encouragement ministry, REPAIRING THE BREACH MARRIAGE MINISTRY. The Lord continues to do a work in their lives by trying to draw them closer to Him everyday. They will be the first to tell you that there is no such thing as a "perfect marriage", but they will also be the first to tell you that they love and respect each other more now than before the valley, and are closer than ever before. ALL PRAISE & GLORY GOES TO GOD!!! QUESTIONS & ANSWERS QUESTIONS ASKED LES Q.: DID YOU THINK OF CINDY AND THE KIDS WHEN YOU WERE WITH THE STRANGE WOMAN? WERE YOU REALLY WISHING YOU COULD BE WITH THEM? A.: When I was deep in the sin, they were the farthest thing from my mind, but as I was coming out of it I started to think more and more about them. After I saw the movie (talked about in the testimony) I realized how much I loved and missed them. Q.: DID YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WERE HEALED? A.: I wondered, until the strange woman called me at work and asked me AGAIN to leave Cindy for her, and I realized that she didn't have any power over me anymore. I told her NO and hung up on her! That's when I knew I was healed, when I didn't run to her like the other times. Q.: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE HEALED? A.: I knew after the phone call. Cindy trusting me, really helped in my healing too. I don't think like I used to. God changed my heart. I only want Cindy. Q.: DID IT TAKE AWHILE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CATHY & LATHAN TO HEAL? A.: I don't think so. I asked them to forgive me and they did. I told them how sorry I was. I'm thankful that they were only 7 & 10 at the time, because I think it was easier for them to forgive me than if they had been older at the time. Q.: MY SPOUSE HAS GUILT; HOW DID YOU OVERCOME IT? A.: I asked God to forgive me of the sins that I did and HE got rid of the guilt. Q.: WHAT DID YOU LEARN THROUGH YOUR VALLEY EXPERIENCE? A.: I learned that when you get married, that is who God has chosen for you. You are more suitable with that person than any other. I know that Cindy is who God made for me. Q.: HOW DID THE VALLEY CHANGE CINDY AS YOUR WIFE? A.: She is more humble, and our roles are in balance. Q.: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER THE MOST ABOUT THE VALLEY? A.: I don't remember it very much or in any detail. I can't believe it happened, but I know it did. I remember the loneliness. Q.: WAS IT HARD TO FACE CINDY'S PARENTS, CHURCH FAMILY, ETC? A.: We didn't go to church right away after the valley. But when we did, everyone was nice to me. I am very thankful that Cindy's parents took care of my family while I was "gone" (I only gave Cindy $60 a week - if that!). Cindy's family made the first move. I remember my father-in-law giving me a hug - after that, I didn't feel nervous. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR SPOUSES STANDING FOR THEIR MATES? A.: KEEP STANDING! I'm glad Cindy stood for me. I know that I would be going to hell, right now, if she hadn't, and we would not be together as a family. QUESTIONS ASKED CATHY & LATHAN Q.: WHAT WAS THE VALLEY LIKE? Cathy: A.: It was a very hard time for me. There were days of being happy & days of being sad. The Lord was the only source that kept me going. Lathan: A.: It was terrible. I just thought that my dad didn't want anything to do with me. Q.: HAVE YOU FORGIVEN YOUR DAD? WAS IT HARD? Cathy: A.: Yes, I have! It wasn't very hard, because God gave me the forgiveness for my dad. He had me see Dad like Jesus would. Lathan: A.: Yes, I have totally forgiven my dad. One day, I talked to him about the anger that I had. He apologized for everything and promised that he would never do it again. Q.: WHAT ENABLED YOU TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE VALLEY? Cathy: A.: Jesus Christ, the Word of God, and my entire family were the only way I was able to make it. The Bible was like a shield to everything that was going on with Dad. Mom told us all the promises that God gave her. She never left us out. We were a part of this warfare and stood with her. Lathan: A.: Prayer, interceding and knowing all the promises that God gave to my mom. Q.: HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE STRANGE WOMAN? DID YOU HAVE HATRED TOWARDS HER? Cathy: A.: I had a lot of hate towards the strange woman. It made me sick to think of her with my dad. The Lord eventually gave me total forgiveness for her. Lathan: A.: I really hated her. I remember walking through our house and seeing all the strange woman's ducks where my mom's stuff had been. Q.: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT THE VALLEY? Cathy: A.: I remember playing with my cousins most of all. My family was always there for me. We were always together, and that helped ease the pain. I thank the Lord for them!! Lathan: A.: I remember not ever knowing if my dad would ever play catch with me again, and also seeing my uncles with their sons made me miss my dad even more. But, I thank God that my grandpa was there for me like a dad. My mom always told us the Scriptures that God gave her. This helped, because this way we knew what was REALLY going on with Dad. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER SONS & DAUGHTERS GOING THROUGH THEIR VALLEY? Cathy: A.: I would tell girls to hang on to Jesus. He is the only way to get through this situation. Reading the Bible is a lifesaver, too; not just reading it, but seeking God through it. He will show you things just like He were sitting there with you! If your family and friends are standing on God's Word and believing with you, never shelter yourself away from them. They can play a big role in your healing. By being around them, God can use them to encourage you and ease your pain! I know what it feels like, so hang on to Jesus! Lathan: A.: Just hang in there. Pray and stand on God's Word. Listen to your parent. QUESTIONS ASKED CINDY Q.: WHAT WAS THE HARDEST PART OF THE VALLEY? A.: The rejection! To this day, when I am ministering to someone on the phone who is hurting, I can feel their pain; that searing, tearing pain. Also, seeing the hatred in Les' eyes and knowing that, at that time, he did not want me. Q.: WHAT SEEMED TO BE THE BIGGEST BATTLES? A.: Not believing what I saw with my eyes or heard with my ears, especially when I'd see the strange woman drive in our drive or see her make-up in my cabinet, etc. But God would let me know that I would sink if I went by what I saw! Also, not allowing self-pity to set in. That would have been THE biggest tool that satan would try against me, because if I started feeling sorry for myself, then my focus would have went from battling for Les to myself - just want the enemy would have wanted! It would have been like a cancer. Q.: HOW DID YOU HANDLE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THE STRANGE WOMAN? A.: ONLY BY GOD'S GRACE!!! He gave me a supernatural love for her. I was able to wrap my arms around her and tell her that I loved her and forgave her for what had happened. I was able to share with her that she truly needed to ask Jesus into her heart and live for Him; he was who she was really longing for in her soul. He would fill the void that she was trying to fill with men. After God got it through to me that it was more of a battle for Les' salvation than our marriage, I had a greater concern for her soul too. Q.: WHAT WERE SOME OF THE BIGGEST FRUSTRATIONS? A.: When people didn't believe God's Word with me. I remember the kids and I going to Wednesday night service the night, of the day, that Les left us. While there, a dear Christian friend (after hearing what had happened) gave me some "counsel". She told me that what I was now going to have to do is to 1.) Put the kids in a public school, and 2.) get out of the house and get a "job". I turned and looked her square in the eye and told her that "I was NOT going to do this the world's way but GOD'S WAY!!!" These were the two exact things that the ENEMY wanted me to do! This is when the Lord told me to stay away from doubters, because they would drag me under. I have no ill feelings for this sister in the Lord. She was truly hurting for me and wanted to help. The Lord only asks of us to walk in the light that HE has shown us. Q.: MY HUSBAND HAS A WILL OF HIS OWN; IT'S HOPELESS! A.: No, it's not hopeless! ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH GOD! (Math. 19:26) Prayer is POWERFUL, especially when you pray GOD'S WORD!!! If intercessory prayer were not able to change the heart of a person, then why do we pray for our unsaved loved ones? We are to pray - BELIEVING! Q.: WHAT WERE YOUR BIGGEST FEARS? A.: Loosing the children. The children and I grew closer during that time than any other. The same tearing, searing pain that I shared about earlier, I also had when the children and I were not together. I would grow weak, spiritually, and the enemy knew it! Which made me easy prey for him. Another fear was T-I-M-E!!! The enemy would try to get me discouraged by telling me that it would be ten, even twenty years that I would be standing. But then God would remind me that I was one day closer TODAY than I was yesterday, and that He already knew the exact day, and that that day could be TODAY!!! Q.: DID THE VALLEY REALLY CHANGE LES? IS HE REALLY HEALED! A.: YES!!! & YES!!! Before the valley, Les was very selfish. Everything was HIS - the house, the car, the TV., etc.. That attitude is totally gone! To him now, it is OURS. Before the valley, in conversation, it was nothing for him to say idly, "Well, if we'd ever divorce..." There was not a FULL commitment to me then. Now he states, "I WANT TO GROW OLD WITH YOU!" Another thing that has changed about Les is that, all our married life, HE COULDN'T STAND FOR ME TO TOUCH HIM!! He'd always get mad when I'd try to hold his hand, stroke his hair, rub his back, etc. HE DIDN'T WANT TOUCHED! Now he loves it when I stroke his hair, rub his back, etc. He still isn't very affectionate in public - but now, he is privately! There is no way that I can put into words the change that has occurred in Les; it's bonds that only the husband and wife can feel between each other. Not only do I know that Les is healed because of the fruit that he bears, but GOD says that he is healed. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER STANDERS? A.: Keep yourself pure! The enemy might tempt you by bringing someone who "appears" to be Mr. or Miss Perfect. Don't fall for it!! KEEPING PURE IS A WEAPON AGAINST THE ENEMY! Don't play games - Don't try to get revenge - IT WON'T WORK!! You will only play into the hands of the enemy! Let God do it! At the beginning of the valley, I remember sitting and pondering everything. I was getting overwhelmed and thought I was just going to BURST when God, gently, quietly, and calmingly, spoke to me these words: "Why are you fretting? I have it under control; I have it planned out. There aren't any plans or decisions that YOU have to make, I will do it all. You only need to choose to obey or disobey"! Q.: YOU HAD YOUR FAMILY TO STAND WITH YOU, I HAVE NO ONE! A.: Yes, I had my family. It was all new to them also, but they believed God's Word with me. I remember seeing the pain on their faces, for me. They, too, had battles against anger, etc.. - Remember THEY could see too, the activity down at our house from my parent's home. But, they loved Les, loved the Lord and weren't going to let satan have him! They were a BIG blessing to me! But, I have no doubt that if I would have been the only one to stand, then God's grace would have abounded to me to the extent that I would have needed to have been able to be obedient to Him in what He was asking for me to do. He doesn't call us to do something, to set us up for failure! Pray and ask Him to give you a strong, standing, prayer partner - OF THE SAME GENDER!! God will be Faithful! He will either send you one or His Grace will be sufficient. Q.: WELL, YOUR "DIVORCE" DIDN'T GO THROUGH, AND MINE DID, SO HOW CAN YOU UNDERSTAND? A.: As I was standing during the valley, I had no idea how long it would last. In everything that God was asking of me, I had NO idea how long it would take, so the choices of obedience that I was having to make were made with the fear of this taking ten or twenty years. Also, God knows the plan that needs to be accomplished for all involved. Through His Word, He told me that EVERY person that heard of Les' and my situation had a part in God's plan. It was like a ripple in the water as to whom it touched, and God had teachings and lessons for each one! Also, as I shared earlier, God's grace abounds to us for the individual person and what they are going through. As I was spared the pain of a "divorce", God allowed me to experience the pain of DAILY, SEEING and WATCHING the strange woman with my husband, in our home, etc.. For another stander, this might have caused a lot more anger, unforgiveness, nightmares, anxiety, etc.., in which case, God might not call them to this experience. ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT EACH ONE OF US NEED! CINDY'S WALK THROUGH THE WORD THROUGH THE VALLEY 5-31-90 - Les Left. 6-01-90 - Isaiah 37:6b 6-02-90 - Isaiah 58:9-12, Isaiah 57:13-19 6-03-90 - Psalm 91 6-04-90 - Matthew 7:24-27 6-06-90 - Ezekiel 36:22-28, Ezekiel 11:16-20 6- -90 - Ezekiel 36:33-36, Jeremiah 33:6-11, Ezekiel 37:11b-14, Daniel 2:21-23, Exodus 4:11&12, Exodus 4:15b 6-09-90 - Luke 1:17 6-10-90 - Proverbs 10:19&21, Isaiah 49:22-26 7-29-90 - Joel 2:21 7- -90 - Hosea 6:1b-2, Isaiah 47:10-11,Daniel 2:29 8-15-90 - Isaiah 56:1 9-04-90 - Lamentations 3:21-33 9-15-90 - Job 33:14-31 9-16-90 - Lamentations 3:1-20 9-26-90 - Psalm 37:7, Psalm 127:1-2 10-05-90 - Ephesians 5:22-24, Titus 2:4-5,1 Timothy 2:9-14 3-05-91 - Job 34:21-32 3-06-91 - Psalm 27:14 3-09-91 - Isaiah 51:21-23 3-18-91 - Nahum 1:12b&13 3-26-91 - Ezekiel 36:4-11 3-28-91 - Jeremiah 39:17&18 4-08-91 - Isaiah 54:3-17 5-11-91 - Jeremiah 31:27-31, Jeremiah 30:17 5-24-91 - Psalm 102:13 5-25-91 - Ezekiel 12:27-28, Isaiah 40:2 6-13-91 - Isaiah 61:11-62:1-12, Zephaniah 3:20 6-29-91 - Jeremiah 31:9-13 7-06-91 - HOME FOR GOOD!!! THANK YOU, JESUS!!!

Les & Cindy were married on February 2, 1979, in Butler. They have two children: Cathy-born in 1980 and Lathan-born in 1983. Les has worked as as tool & die maker since his senior year in high school, and is about to celebrate his 23nd year at Dura Automotive in Butler. Cindy was a licensed Activity Director and QMA in a nursing home for several years. After Lathan was born they decided that Cindy should be an "at-home" mom. They lived in a mobile home park, in town, for the first six years of their marriage. In 1984-1985, Les, his brother, his brother-in-law, and his dad built their home in the country. They moved into their new home in July of 1985. On September 7, 1985 at 9:05 P.M., at their home, Cindy had a life changing experience by accepting Jesus Christ as her personal Savior. Without her "understanding" anything about the Holy Spirit of God, Jesus baptized Cindy in the Holy Spirit, with the evidence of speaking in other tongues, that same night. Needless to say, Cindy was totally changed that night and has not been the same since. Praise the Lord! Les immediately saw the change in Cindy and knew that what she had experienced was real; Les received Jesus as his personal Savior on November 10, 1985 and was baptized in the Holy Spirit in February, 1986. Les & Cindy were water baptized together on December 8, 1985. Cathy, at five years of age, accepted Jesus in September of 1985 and Lathan, at the age of four, accepted Jesus in October of 1987. The Lord IMMEDIATELY started working in their family by drawing them more and more out of the world and trying to renew their minds! One of the first "major" things that God required out of them was to homeschool their children. So, in September of 1986, being the first in their school district, they started homeschooling. Cathy has since graduated in June of 1998 and Lathan will in June of 2001. THEY WERE ONE HAPPY FAMILY! THEY WERE ATTENDING CHURCH FAITHFULLY TOGETHER AND IT SEEMED THAT LIFE COULD NEVER BE BETTER! Members of Les' family also started building homes. Les felt that it was only right that he help them, since they had so graciously, helped to build theirs. (Remember, Les wasn't saved when building their house.) So, he found himself NOT attending church...then not praying...then...not in the Word. Meanwhile, Cindy had become president and founder of the DeKalb County American Family Association and was giving speeches at different churches around the county as to the dangers of pornography and THE DESTRUCTION TO FAMILIES THAT IT CAUSES! (ARE YOU SEEING YET, HOW SLY THE DEVIL WORKS?...Weakening and isolating Les, and Cindy out trying to save the world from porn while her family is crumbling!) Cindy and the kids continued to attend church "every time the church doors were open" and busied themselves with the "things of the Lord", while, Les, on the other hand, was working fulltime in the factory and fulltime all weekend away from Cindy and the kids. Without ever even realizing it, there had become a BREACH between them; they were living in two different worlds with different priorities! Cindy felt that Les just "didn't get it" with spiritual things, and Les thought that there must be someone out there who needed him. Les found himself being razzed by guys at work about his wife being against pornography. With Les no longer being in the Word or in church, he found himself not wanting the things of God any more. He was embarrassed by Cindy's "spirituality" and wanted to disassociate himself with her, with righteousness and with God! THE VALLEY Les began the testimony. I was the one who took off. We were married in 1979 and have two kids. Cindy and I got saved in 1985, and you would think that all of our problems would be over, and we would have a fine Christian marriage. Well, in 1990, I got other ideas and decided that I didn't want to be married anymore or have any responsibility for my kids. I didn't think that I loved Cindy, and I told her that I wanted a divorce. Cindy has always been very physical in our relationship, but I didn't want Cindy anymore. She was busy as the president of the American Family Association in our county. She was always busy doing something or going someplace. I told myself that Cindy didn't need me, and that I needed someone who did. At the place where I worked, there was a woman who seemed to be helpless and needed someone to take care of her. That's how I got started on the road to adultery. It's true what Les just said. When I got saved in 1985, I poured myself into working for the Kingdom of God. I was out there "working for the Lord", homeschooling our kids... on the weekends, I was off with Operation Rescue, or at a speaking engagement for A.F.A., or "busy" in the church. As far as I knew, we had a wonderful marriage. We didn't argue, we didn't fight, and I trusted Les. When we first started through the valley, people would ask me, "Is there someone else?" I would answer adamantly, "NO WAY!! You don't know my husband. There's NO WAY that Les would do that. He's NOT like that!!" I knew, that I knew, that I knew, that there was NOT someone else. On May 30, 1990, Les came home, crawled into bed and said, "I WANT A DIVORCE!" I looked into his eyes and saw such hatred that I knew he wasn't kidding. He did not look like my Les. The valley lasted for about a year and a half, and he didn't look like my Les during that entire time. His eyes were dark. He got into wearing designer clothing. He started working out and lost a lot of weight. He got a different hairstyle. He became a person that I didn't even know. He told me - what will sound familiar to thousands of women who have heard these same words from their husbands - "I DON'T LOVE YOU; I HAVE NEVER LOVED YOU; WE WERE TOO YOUNG WHEN WE GOT MARRIED; WE WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED." I asked him, "What about the kids?" His answer was cold, hard, and uncaring; "YOU SHELTER THEM TOO MUCH!! KIDS ALL OVER THE WORLD GO THROUGH THIS AND HANDLE IT. OURS WILL TOO!!" I went upstairs, got on the phone and called my mom, my sisters and my pastor and asked for prayer. I asked them to pray that God would give me the gift of faith to believe for my marriage. AND GOD DID!!! From that time on, God would encourage me by saying to me, "I AM THE GOD OF ALL FLESH, IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR ME? MY ARM IS NOT TOO SHORT OR MY EAR DEAF THAT I DO NOT HEAR!" I remember Him asking me, "ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE THE WORDS OF A MERE MAN, OR THE WORD OF ALMIGHTY GOD!!!" WE are the ones who limit God! That day, May 30, 1990, I resigned from everything. The minute I knew Les was serious, NOTHING was important to me but my marriage. God burned into me, in a matter of seconds, what my priorities were: my husband and my children! He showed me that as I served my husband, I was serving Jesus Christ. As I loved my husband, I was loving Jesus Christ because Les is my lord here on this earth. God was showing me that although it looked like Les was the one in the sin right now, He had JUST as much work to do in ME! I didn't know whether the walk would take ten months or ten years, or whether there would be a "divorce" or not. I just knew that GOD WOULD BE FAITHFUL!!! "Now it seems ridiculous," Les continues, "but even when I was committing adultery, I still called myself a Christian. I even prayed, 'Lord if this is not Your will, make something happen to make the "strange woman" leave.' She didn't leave, so I said, 'Hey, this is what I am going to do, since it must be okay with God.'" Cindy and I live out in the country on land that we bought from her mom and dad, who live next door. At first, I moved in with my brother, then I made Cindy and the kids leave our home and I moved into it with the strange woman. I told Cindy to get everything out of the house because anything left was going to get burned! I was starting a "new" life, WITHOUT Cindy, the kids, or "our" stuff. They moved in with Cindy's parents and could look out the kitchen window and see me with the strange woman in the yard. I didn't know why I felt uncomfortable in my own home, until I found out later that Cindy had anointed our house, land and the four corners of our property and would walk, at night in her parent's lane, praying. The strange woman would get bored with me and feel uncomfortable in my home and take off. In fact, she left me three times, and three times I kicked my wife and children out of our home. All it took was one phone call from her, after she would leave, to get me back on her hook. She was like a magnet which I couldn't resist. We would get back together, and I would tell Cindy to get out of the house. As all these things were happening with Les, I cried out to the Lord. I didn't know anything about "standing" for a marriage. The Word became more alive to me than ever before. The Lord would tell me, throughout the valley, things that were going to happen before they even did. He told me, in Isaiah 57:18&19, that HE WOULD HEAL LES. The day that I received the divorce papers was one of the hardest days of the valley. Throughout the valley, if I was not in the Word, if I did not have praise music - that was the WORD OF GOD - if I did not have the presence of God surrounding me, it was like my heart was being put on hot coals or fire, and I couldn't pull it away. There was a real, physical pain, and IT HURT!! The moment I would get back into the presence of God, it was like soothing oil or ointment being poured over me. I could feel HIS HEALING POWER!!! I had to come into the presence of God EVERY day and get rid of unforgiveness. I couldn't afford to harbor anger and let it pile up. Each day I had to allow the POWER OF FORGIVENESS in my life. I would cry out to the Lord and say, "I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM!" But, because of God's healing power, I would then find myself crying out, "I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM!" God explained to me how I needed to watch my words. I needed to be kind and gentle. When I would see Les, I was not to harp; I was not to manipulate. This was GOD'S BATTLE, and I was to back off, intercede and trust God to do the work in my husband. While He was doing a work in my husband, He was going to do a work in ME! He wanted to teach me to hear His voice and to really learn to TRUST Him as my Sovereign, Heavenly Father. I knew that God was telling me that Les and I were truly one flesh. One flesh cannot go in two directions at the same time! He told me to STAND, WATCH, and WAIT to see HIM draw Les back. I knew that if the divorce went through - in the natural realm - that God was telling me that those "papers" meant NOTHING! What GOD joined together would STAY together, even if it didn't LOOK like it! My sister-in-law gave me a pamphlet, that she came across, entitled "Through The Valley" by Dana & Val Hartong. When I read it, I knew I wasn't loony. I knew I wasn't crazy. I realized that I wasn't alone, and I called and talked to Val. She encouraged me because God had spoken to my heart a lot of the same Scriptures that were in their pamphlet. During this time of the valley, Les appeared to be "having a great time". He didn't need me, or want me. He acted as though he thought he could have any woman in the world that he wanted. He was a macho acting, hard, mean, man. But from the beginning of the valley, the Lord told me, DON'T GO BY WHAT YOU SEE WITH YOUR EYES OR BY WHAT YOU HEAR WITH YOUR EARS!" Well, God gave me a vision of what was really going on with Les. What the Lord showed me was Les, like a little child, huddled up in a hump in a corner, bound with chains, whimpering and crying, with powers of darkness surrounding him and taunting him. He was hurting and needed help; HE NEEDED SET FREE!! By our human, natural eyesight, Les was a man who didn't need anybody; a man who could take care of himself and who appeared to finally KNOW what he wanted out of life. But GOD said otherwise!! Like Les said, the kids and I were kicked out of our home three different times. I have had wonderful Christian people, and even pastors, tell me that, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" "THREE TIMES OF BEING KICKED OUT OF YOUR HOME IS ENOUGH!" "YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH BEING TREATED LIKE THAT!" "GOD HAS SOMEONE BETTER FOR YOU!" "YOU DESERVE BETTER!" "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT LES BACK?" But what God said was, "Cindy, how many times will I forgive YOU? Do I set a limit - three times and you're out? How far was I willing to go, and how much was I willing to do for YOU?" The Lord asked me...if I wasn't willing to intercede and fight spiritual warfare for Les, then who would? It was as if Les had gotten himself ensnared in a spider's web - and we know that once a victim is caught in one it cannot free itself, but someone could CUT it free! The Lord taught me that intercessory prayer and standing in the authority of Jesus and on the Word of God was what was going to cut Les free from the snare that he was tangled in! God showed me that what the enemy meant for harm, God would use for good. - He's in the salvaging business! - PRAISE GOD! In the natural realm, Les' and my marriage looked totally, hopelessly, destroyed. As I would try to share with others what was really going on and what God was doing, I could see the look in their eyes saying..."Poor Cindy, she just can't face reality! Doesn't she know how much Les doesn't want her anymore? Can't she see how happy Les is now? Doesn't she see how she is building up false hopes in the kids by not facing the truth? Doesn't she realize how arrogant she sounds? She needs to just let go and get on with her life!" But God said that we were on the road of CONSTRUCTION and NOT the road of destruction! When a new, beautifully, smooth, paved highway is constructed, it first went through a time of appearing destroyed. It had to go through that phase to become the beautifully, completed road that now thousands are able to travel upon. We, as Christians, walk by FAITH not by sight, and God was teaching me this firsthand! I remember having to keep the Word of God - which is our shield and buckler - in front of me at all times because the enemy would come in and try to attack me with doubt. I would feel like I was sinking in a hopeless pit and the pain would become almost unbearable until I would SPEAK FORTH WHAT GOD HAD TOLD ME!!! His Word is what got me - us - through!!! God said, "Cindy, if Les was sick and delirious in the hospital and you and the kids went to see him, and he yelled at you, 'GET OUT, I DON'T NEED YOU, I DON'T LOVE YOU, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN,' would you believe him? Would you take the kids and leave and never go back again? No, you would understand that, under the condition that he was in, he didn't know what he was saying. Now he is SPIRITUALLY sick and you are fighting for his ETERNAL healing, and his ETERNAL salvation is first and foremost. Even if you didn't have My promises for marriage, would you still intercede and lay your life down, until he comes back to Me? Are you willing to do that to save his soul from eternal hell?" It wasn't easy; I knew that there wasn't anything more important than to obey what the Father was asking of me. But it was hard; and yet He made it possible because He was my biggest cheerleader! THANK YOU, JESUS!!! My mission was to be willing to serve Jesus NO MATTER WHAT and to fight spiritual warfare for Les' salvation. GOD had the PLAN. HE had the STRATEGY. It was no longer a battle for a marriage as much as it was for a husband's soul! I treated Cindy like dirt during the valley and she would turn the other cheek. I guess it was greed, but I thought that if I got rid of Cindy and the kids, I would have more money. BUT GOD HAD OTHER THINGS IN MIND! Every time that I thought that I would have some money for the strange woman and myself, something would happen! I wrecked my brother's motorcycle, my well went out, my lawnmower's motor blew up. When Cindy found out that I had NO FOOD in the house, and had been eating only plain spaghetti noodles, she brought me some meatloaves and cheesecake. Cindy loved me even though I treated her like dirt. At one point, during the valley, I remember telling Cindy that I didn't know what REAL love was. I had quit attending church and had reached a point where I didn't want anything to do with God. But God will reach down where we are. God used a secular movie to show me that NOBODY would love me like Cindy; NOBODY can raise our kids like Cindy and I, and we needed to be together as a family. I wouldn't go to God, so He came to me! Cindy continued: During my valley experience, a friend sent me an excerpt from a book that she was reading. God used it to encourage me daily, along with His Word. As I would read, "Look not back. Keep thy face toward the sunrise, for He shall rise fresh daily in thy soul with healing in His wings," it was as if God was pouring cool, healing oil over my spirit. I knew God had a work to do in MY life and He was telling me that the sooner I learned what He was trying to teach me, the sooner it would be over and Les would be healed. I had to WAIT, TRUST and BELIEVE and NOT look at what I saw with my eyes, or heard with my ears. I was to look through the Spirit's eyes, and stand on God's Word and see the VICTORY. I learned that what PEOPLE thought and said wasn't important, only what GOD said was! FAITH SEES the promise, SEES the mountain moved, and hears God say YES! Praise God, the divorce never went through and Les has been HEALED and SET FREE!!! When I went through the valley, God made many promises to me and gave me many prophecies that He would fulfill. One of them was that our valley experience would be used to help others and we would stand before people and give our testimony and that the "nations would know". He is truly Faithful, for this has been fulfilled today! ALL GLORY GOES TO GOD!!! CONCLUSION The Lord has used Les & Cindy's testimony - through audio & video tapes, booklets, and website - to reach other hurting people. They have been blessed to be asked, and to share their testimony at speaking engagements and on Christian television. During the valley, when Cindy would get down and self-pity would try to set in, the Lord would speak to her heart that this valley experience was NOT just for Les and her but for others. Others would be helped out of their valley through Les and Cindy's testimony and encouragement. The Lord spoke to Cindy in Ezekiel 36:8, "But ye, O mountains of Israel, ye shall shoot forth your branches, and yield your fruit to my people of Israel; for they are at hand to come." The Lord also revealed to Cindy in Isaiah 61:11 & 62:10 that the "nations" (people), would hear of their valley experience and through this, a standard would be raised and righteousness and praise would come forth. She had no idea how God would accomplish this, especially since Les dislikes traveling. To bring Glory to God and to share His faithfulness - since Les and Cindy spoke, they have received phone calls, e-mails & letters for prayer from across the United States and around the world. Marriages have been healed by the power of God since the valley, and all Glory goes to Him!!! The Lord has led them to call this prayer and encouragement ministry, REPAIRING THE BREACH MARRIAGE MINISTRY. The Lord continues to do a work in their lives by trying to draw them closer to Him everyday. They will be the first to tell you that there is no such thing as a "perfect marriage", but they will also be the first to tell you that they love and respect each other more now than before the valley, and are closer than ever before. ALL PRAISE & GLORY GOES TO GOD!!! QUESTIONS & ANSWERS QUESTIONS ASKED LES Q.: DID YOU THINK OF CINDY AND THE KIDS WHEN YOU WERE WITH THE STRANGE WOMAN? WERE YOU REALLY WISHING YOU COULD BE WITH THEM? A.: When I was deep in the sin, they were the farthest thing from my mind, but as I was coming out of it I started to think more and more about them. After I saw the movie (talked about in the testimony) I realized how much I loved and missed them. Q.: DID YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WERE HEALED? A.: I wondered, until the strange woman called me at work and asked me AGAIN to leave Cindy for her, and I realized that she didn't have any power over me anymore. I told her NO and hung up on her! That's when I knew I was healed, when I didn't run to her like the other times. Q.: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE HEALED? A.: I knew after the phone call. Cindy trusting me, really helped in my healing too. I don't think like I used to. God changed my heart. I only want Cindy. Q.: DID IT TAKE AWHILE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CATHY & LATHAN TO HEAL? A.: I don't think so. I asked them to forgive me and they did. I told them how sorry I was. I'm thankful that they were only 7 & 10 at the time, because I think it was easier for them to forgive me than if they had been older at the time. Q.: MY SPOUSE HAS GUILT; HOW DID YOU OVERCOME IT? A.: I asked God to forgive me of the sins that I did and HE got rid of the guilt. Q.: WHAT DID YOU LEARN THROUGH YOUR VALLEY EXPERIENCE? A.: I learned that when you get married, that is who God has chosen for you. You are more suitable with that person than any other. I know that Cindy is who God made for me. Q.: HOW DID THE VALLEY CHANGE CINDY AS YOUR WIFE? A.: She is more humble, and our roles are in balance. Q.: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER THE MOST ABOUT THE VALLEY? A.: I don't remember it very much or in any detail. I can't believe it happened, but I know it did. I remember the loneliness. Q.: WAS IT HARD TO FACE CINDY'S PARENTS, CHURCH FAMILY, ETC? A.: We didn't go to church right away after the valley. But when we did, everyone was nice to me. I am very thankful that Cindy's parents took care of my family while I was "gone" (I only gave Cindy $60 a week - if that!). Cindy's family made the first move. I remember my father-in-law giving me a hug - after that, I didn't feel nervous. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR SPOUSES STANDING FOR THEIR MATES? A.: KEEP STANDING! I'm glad Cindy stood for me. I know that I would be going to hell, right now, if she hadn't, and we would not be together as a family. QUESTIONS ASKED CATHY & LATHAN Q.: WHAT WAS THE VALLEY LIKE? Cathy: A.: It was a very hard time for me. There were days of being happy & days of being sad. The Lord was the only source that kept me going. Lathan: A.: It was terrible. I just thought that my dad didn't want anything to do with me. Q.: HAVE YOU FORGIVEN YOUR DAD? WAS IT HARD? Cathy: A.: Yes, I have! It wasn't very hard, because God gave me the forgiveness for my dad. He had me see Dad like Jesus would. Lathan: A.: Yes, I have totally forgiven my dad. One day, I talked to him about the anger that I had. He apologized for everything and promised that he would never do it again. Q.: WHAT ENABLED YOU TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE VALLEY? Cathy: A.: Jesus Christ, the Word of God, and my entire family were the only way I was able to make it. The Bible was like a shield to everything that was going on with Dad. Mom told us all the promises that God gave her. She never left us out. We were a part of this warfare and stood with her. Lathan: A.: Prayer, interceding and knowing all the promises that God gave to my mom. Q.: HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE STRANGE WOMAN? DID YOU HAVE HATRED TOWARDS HER? Cathy: A.: I had a lot of hate towards the strange woman. It made me sick to think of her with my dad. The Lord eventually gave me total forgiveness for her. Lathan: A.: I really hated her. I remember walking through our house and seeing all the strange woman's ducks where my mom's stuff had been. Q.: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT THE VALLEY? Cathy: A.: I remember playing with my cousins most of all. My family was always there for me. We were always together, and that helped ease the pain. I thank the Lord for them!! Lathan: A.: I remember not ever knowing if my dad would ever play catch with me again, and also seeing my uncles with their sons made me miss my dad even more. But, I thank God that my grandpa was there for me like a dad. My mom always told us the Scriptures that God gave her. This helped, because this way we knew what was REALLY going on with Dad. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER SONS & DAUGHTERS GOING THROUGH THEIR VALLEY? Cathy: A.: I would tell girls to hang on to Jesus. He is the only way to get through this situation. Reading the Bible is a lifesaver, too; not just reading it, but seeking God through it. He will show you things just like He were sitting there with you! If your family and friends are standing on God's Word and believing with you, never shelter yourself away from them. They can play a big role in your healing. By being around them, God can use them to encourage you and ease your pain! I know what it feels like, so hang on to Jesus! Lathan: A.: Just hang in there. Pray and stand on God's Word. Listen to your parent. QUESTIONS ASKED CINDY Q.: WHAT WAS THE HARDEST PART OF THE VALLEY? A.: The rejection! To this day, when I am ministering to someone on the phone who is hurting, I can feel their pain; that searing, tearing pain. Also, seeing the hatred in Les' eyes and knowing that, at that time, he did not want me. Q.: WHAT SEEMED TO BE THE BIGGEST BATTLES? A.: Not believing what I saw with my eyes or heard with my ears, especially when I'd see the strange woman drive in our drive or see her make-up in my cabinet, etc. But God would let me know that I would sink if I went by what I saw! Also, not allowing self-pity to set in. That would have been THE biggest tool that satan would try against me, because if I started feeling sorry for myself, then my focus would have went from battling for Les to myself - just want the enemy would have wanted! It would have been like a cancer. Q.: HOW DID YOU HANDLE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THE STRANGE WOMAN? A.: ONLY BY GOD'S GRACE!!! He gave me a supernatural love for her. I was able to wrap my arms around her and tell her that I loved her and forgave her for what had happened. I was able to share with her that she truly needed to ask Jesus into her heart and live for Him; he was who she was really longing for in her soul. He would fill the void that she was trying to fill with men. After God got it through to me that it was more of a battle for Les' salvation than our marriage, I had a greater concern for her soul too. Q.: WHAT WERE SOME OF THE BIGGEST FRUSTRATIONS? A.: When people didn't believe God's Word with me. I remember the kids and I going to Wednesday night service the night, of the day, that Les left us. While there, a dear Christian friend (after hearing what had happened) gave me some "counsel". She told me that what I was now going to have to do is to 1.) Put the kids in a public school, and 2.) get out of the house and get a "job". I turned and looked her square in the eye and told her that "I was NOT going to do this the world's way but GOD'S WAY!!!" These were the two exact things that the ENEMY wanted me to do! This is when the Lord told me to stay away from doubters, because they would drag me under. I have no ill feelings for this sister in the Lord. She was truly hurting for me and wanted to help. The Lord only asks of us to walk in the light that HE has shown us. Q.: MY HUSBAND HAS A WILL OF HIS OWN; IT'S HOPELESS! A.: No, it's not hopeless! ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH GOD! (Math. 19:26) Prayer is POWERFUL, especially when you pray GOD'S WORD!!! If intercessory prayer were not able to change the heart of a person, then why do we pray for our unsaved loved ones? We are to pray - BELIEVING! Q.: WHAT WERE YOUR BIGGEST FEARS? A.: Loosing the children. The children and I grew closer during that time than any other. The same tearing, searing pain that I shared about earlier, I also had when the children and I were not together. I would grow weak, spiritually, and the enemy knew it! Which made me easy prey for him. Another fear was T-I-M-E!!! The enemy would try to get me discouraged by telling me that it would be ten, even twenty years that I would be standing. But then God would remind me that I was one day closer TODAY than I was yesterday, and that He already knew the exact day, and that that day could be TODAY!!! Q.: DID THE VALLEY REALLY CHANGE LES? IS HE REALLY HEALED! A.: YES!!! & YES!!! Before the valley, Les was very selfish. Everything was HIS - the house, the car, the TV., etc.. That attitude is totally gone! To him now, it is OURS. Before the valley, in conversation, it was nothing for him to say idly, "Well, if we'd ever divorce..." There was not a FULL commitment to me then. Now he states, "I WANT TO GROW OLD WITH YOU!" Another thing that has changed about Les is that, all our married life, HE COULDN'T STAND FOR ME TO TOUCH HIM!! He'd always get mad when I'd try to hold his hand, stroke his hair, rub his back, etc. HE DIDN'T WANT TOUCHED! Now he loves it when I stroke his hair, rub his back, etc. He still isn't very affectionate in public - but now, he is privately! There is no way that I can put into words the change that has occurred in Les; it's bonds that only the husband and wife can feel between each other. Not only do I know that Les is healed because of the fruit that he bears, but GOD says that he is healed. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER STANDERS? A.: Keep yourself pure! The enemy might tempt you by bringing someone who "appears" to be Mr. or Miss Perfect. Don't fall for it!! KEEPING PURE IS A WEAPON AGAINST THE ENEMY! Don't play games - Don't try to get revenge - IT WON'T WORK!! You will only play into the hands of the enemy! Let God do it! At the beginning of the valley, I remember sitting and pondering everything. I was getting overwhelmed and thought I was just going to BURST when God, gently, quietly, and calmingly, spoke to me these words: "Why are you fretting? I have it under control; I have it planned out. There aren't any plans or decisions that YOU have to make, I will do it all. You only need to choose to obey or disobey"! Q.: YOU HAD YOUR FAMILY TO STAND WITH YOU, I HAVE NO ONE! A.: Yes, I had my family. It was all new to them also, but they believed God's Word with me. I remember seeing the pain on their faces, for me. They, too, had battles against anger, etc.. - Remember THEY could see too, the activity down at our house from my parent's home. But, they loved Les, loved the Lord and weren't going to let satan have him! They were a BIG blessing to me! But, I have no doubt that if I would have been the only one to stand, then God's grace would have abounded to me to the extent that I would have needed to have been able to be obedient to Him in what He was asking for me to do. He doesn't call us to do something, to set us up for failure! Pray and ask Him to give you a strong, standing, prayer partner - OF THE SAME GENDER!! God will be Faithful! He will either send you one or His Grace will be sufficient. Q.: WELL, YOUR "DIVORCE" DIDN'T GO THROUGH, AND MINE DID, SO HOW CAN YOU UNDERSTAND? A.: As I was standing during the valley, I had no idea how long it would last. In everything that God was asking of me, I had NO idea how long it would take, so the choices of obedience that I was having to make were made with the fear of this taking ten or twenty years. Also, God knows the plan that needs to be accomplished for all involved. Through His Word, He told me that EVERY person that heard of Les' and my situation had a part in God's plan. It was like a ripple in the water as to whom it touched, and God had teachings and lessons for each one! Also, as I shared earlier, God's grace abounds to us for the individual person and what they are going through. As I was spared the pain of a "divorce", God allowed me to experience the pain of DAILY, SEEING and WATCHING the strange woman with my husband, in our home, etc.. For another stander, this might have caused a lot more anger, unforgiveness, nightmares, anxiety, etc.., in which case, God might not call them to this experience. ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT EACH ONE OF US NEED! Les & Cindy were married on February 2, 1979, in Butler. They have two children: Cathy-born in 1980 and Lathan-born in 1983. Les has worked as as tool & die maker since his senior year in high school, and is about to celebrate his 23nd year at Dura Automotive in Butler. Cindy was a licensed Activity Director and QMA in a nursing home for several years. After Lathan was born they decided that Cindy should be an "at-home" mom. They lived in a mobile home park, in town, for the first six years of their marriage. In 1984-1985, Les, his brother, his brother-in-law, and his dad built their home in the country. They moved into their new home in July of 1985. On September 7, 1985 at 9:05 P.M., at their home, Cindy had a life changing experience by accepting Jesus Christ as her personal Savior. Without her "understanding" anything about the Holy Spirit of God, Jesus baptized Cindy in the Holy Spirit, with the evidence of speaking in other tongues, that same night. Needless to say, Cindy was totally changed that night and has not been the same since. Praise the Lord! Les immediately saw the change in Cindy and knew that what she had experienced was real; Les received Jesus as his personal Savior on November 10, 1985 and was baptized in the Holy Spirit in February, 1986. Les & Cindy were water baptized together on December 8, 1985. Cathy, at five years of age, accepted Jesus in September of 1985 and Lathan, at the age of four, accepted Jesus in October of 1987. The Lord IMMEDIATELY started working in their family by drawing them more and more out of the world and trying to renew their minds! One of the first "major" things that God required out of them was to homeschool their children. So, in September of 1986, being the first in their school district, they started homeschooling. Cathy has since graduated in June of 1998 and Lathan will in June of 2001. THEY WERE ONE HAPPY FAMILY! THEY WERE ATTENDING CHURCH FAITHFULLY TOGETHER AND IT SEEMED THAT LIFE COULD NEVER BE BETTER! Members of Les' family also started building homes. Les felt that it was only right that he help them, since they had so graciously, helped to build theirs. (Remember, Les wasn't saved when building their house.) So, he found himself NOT attending church...then not praying...then...not in the Word. Meanwhile, Cindy had become president and founder of the DeKalb County American Family Association and was giving speeches at different churches around the county as to the dangers of pornography and THE DESTRUCTION TO FAMILIES THAT IT CAUSES! (ARE YOU SEEING YET, HOW SLY THE DEVIL WORKS?...Weakening and isolating Les, and Cindy out trying to save the world from porn while her family is crumbling!) Cindy and the kids continued to attend church "every time the church doors were open" and busied themselves with the "things of the Lord", while, Les, on the other hand, was working fulltime in the factory and fulltime all weekend away from Cindy and the kids. Without ever even realizing it, there had become a BREACH between them; they were living in two different worlds with different priorities! Cindy felt that Les just "didn't get it" with spiritual things, and Les thought that there must be someone out there who needed him. Les found himself being razzed by guys at work about his wife being against pornography. With Les no longer being in the Word or in church, he found himself not wanting the things of God any more. He was embarrassed by Cindy's "spirituality" and wanted to disassociate himself with her, with righteousness and with God! THE VALLEY Les began the testimony. I was the one who took off. We were married in 1979 and have two kids. Cindy and I got saved in 1985, and you would think that all of our problems would be over, and we would have a fine Christian marriage. Well, in 1990, I got other ideas and decided that I didn't want to be married anymore or have any responsibility for my kids. I didn't think that I loved Cindy, and I told her that I wanted a divorce. Cindy has always been very physical in our relationship, but I didn't want Cindy anymore. She was busy as the president of the American Family Association in our county. She was always busy doing something or going someplace. I told myself that Cindy didn't need me, and that I needed someone who did. At the place where I worked, there was a woman who seemed to be helpless and needed someone to take care of her. That's how I got started on the road to adultery. It's true what Les just said. When I got saved in 1985, I poured myself into working for the Kingdom of God. I was out there "working for the Lord", homeschooling our kids... on the weekends, I was off with Operation Rescue, or at a speaking engagement for A.F.A., or "busy" in the church. As far as I knew, we had a wonderful marriage. We didn't argue, we didn't fight, and I trusted Les. When we first started through the valley, people would ask me, "Is there someone else?" I would answer adamantly, "NO WAY!! You don't know my husband. There's NO WAY that Les would do that. He's NOT like that!!" I knew, that I knew, that I knew, that there was NOT someone else. On May 30, 1990, Les came home, crawled into bed and said, "I WANT A DIVORCE!" I looked into his eyes and saw such hatred that I knew he wasn't kidding. He did not look like my Les. The valley lasted for about a year and a half, and he didn't look like my Les during that entire time. His eyes were dark. He got into wearing designer clothing. He started working out and lost a lot of weight. He got a different hairstyle. He became a person that I didn't even know. He told me - what will sound familiar to thousands of women who have heard these same words from their husbands - "I DON'T LOVE YOU; I HAVE NEVER LOVED YOU; WE WERE TOO YOUNG WHEN WE GOT MARRIED; WE WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED." I asked him, "What about the kids?" His answer was cold, hard, and uncaring; "YOU SHELTER THEM TOO MUCH!! KIDS ALL OVER THE WORLD GO THROUGH THIS AND HANDLE IT. OURS WILL TOO!!" I went upstairs, got on the phone and called my mom, my sisters and my pastor and asked for prayer. I asked them to pray that God would give me the gift of faith to believe for my marriage. AND GOD DID!!! From that time on, God would encourage me by saying to me, "I AM THE GOD OF ALL FLESH, IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR ME? MY ARM IS NOT TOO SHORT OR MY EAR DEAF THAT I DO NOT HEAR!" I remember Him asking me, "ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE THE WORDS OF A MERE MAN, OR THE WORD OF ALMIGHTY GOD!!!" WE are the ones who limit God! That day, May 30, 1990, I resigned from everything. The minute I knew Les was serious, NOTHING was important to me but my marriage. God burned into me, in a matter of seconds, what my priorities were: my husband and my children! He showed me that as I served my husband, I was serving Jesus Christ. As I loved my husband, I was loving Jesus Christ because Les is my lord here on this earth. God was showing me that although it looked like Les was the one in the sin right now, He had JUST as much work to do in ME! I didn't know whether the walk would take ten months or ten years, or whether there would be a "divorce" or not. I just knew that GOD WOULD BE FAITHFUL!!! "Now it seems ridiculous," Les continues, "but even when I was committing adultery, I still called myself a Christian. I even prayed, 'Lord if this is not Your will, make something happen to make the "strange woman" leave.' She didn't leave, so I said, 'Hey, this is what I am going to do, since it must be okay with God.'" Cindy and I live out in the country on land that we bought from her mom and dad, who live next door. At first, I moved in with my brother, then I made Cindy and the kids leave our home and I moved into it with the strange woman. I told Cindy to get everything out of the house because anything left was going to get burned! I was starting a "new" life, WITHOUT Cindy, the kids, or "our" stuff. They moved in with Cindy's parents and could look out the kitchen window and see me with the strange woman in the yard. I didn't know why I felt uncomfortable in my own home, until I found out later that Cindy had anointed our house, land and the four corners of our property and would walk, at night in her parent's lane, praying. The strange woman would get bored with me and feel uncomfortable in my home and take off. In fact, she left me three times, and three times I kicked my wife and children out of our home. All it took was one phone call from her, after she would leave, to get me back on her hook. She was like a magnet which I couldn't resist. We would get back together, and I would tell Cindy to get out of the house. As all these things were happening with Les, I cried out to the Lord. I didn't know anything about "standing" for a marriage. The Word became more alive to me than ever before. The Lord would tell me, throughout the valley, things that were going to happen before they even did. He told me, in Isaiah 57:18&19, that HE WOULD HEAL LES. The day that I received the divorce papers was one of the hardest days of the valley. Throughout the valley, if I was not in the Word, if I did not have praise music - that was the WORD OF GOD - if I did not have the presence of God surrounding me, it was like my heart was being put on hot coals or fire, and I couldn't pull it away. There was a real, physical pain, and IT HURT!! The moment I would get back into the presence of God, it was like soothing oil or ointment being poured over me. I could feel HIS HEALING POWER!!! I had to come into the presence of God EVERY day and get rid of unforgiveness. I couldn't afford to harbor anger and let it pile up. Each day I had to allow the POWER OF FORGIVENESS in my life. I would cry out to the Lord and say, "I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM!" But, because of God's healing power, I would then find myself crying out, "I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM!" God explained to me how I needed to watch my words. I needed to be kind and gentle. When I would see Les, I was not to harp; I was not to manipulate. This was GOD'S BATTLE, and I was to back off, intercede and trust God to do the work in my husband. While He was doing a work in my husband, He was going to do a work in ME! He wanted to teach me to hear His voice and to really learn to TRUST Him as my Sovereign, Heavenly Father. I knew that God was telling me that Les and I were truly one flesh. One flesh cannot go in two directions at the same time! He told me to STAND, WATCH, and WAIT to see HIM draw Les back. I knew that if the divorce went through - in the natural realm - that God was telling me that those "papers" meant NOTHING! What GOD joined together would STAY together, even if it didn't LOOK like it! My sister-in-law gave me a pamphlet, that she came across, entitled "Through The Valley" by Dana & Val Hartong. When I read it, I knew I wasn't loony. I knew I wasn't crazy. I realized that I wasn't alone, and I called and talked to Val. She encouraged me because God had spoken to my heart a lot of the same Scriptures that were in their pamphlet. During this time of the valley, Les appeared to be "having a great time". He didn't need me, or want me. He acted as though he thought he could have any woman in the world that he wanted. He was a macho acting, hard, mean, man. But from the beginning of the valley, the Lord told me, DON'T GO BY WHAT YOU SEE WITH YOUR EYES OR BY WHAT YOU HEAR WITH YOUR EARS!" Well, God gave me a vision of what was really going on with Les. What the Lord showed me was Les, like a little child, huddled up in a hump in a corner, bound with chains, whimpering and crying, with powers of darkness surrounding him and taunting him. He was hurting and needed help; HE NEEDED SET FREE!! By our human, natural eyesight, Les was a man who didn't need anybody; a man who could take care of himself and who appeared to finally KNOW what he wanted out of life. But GOD said otherwise!! Like Les said, the kids and I were kicked out of our home three different times. I have had wonderful Christian people, and even pastors, tell me that, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" "THREE TIMES OF BEING KICKED OUT OF YOUR HOME IS ENOUGH!" "YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH BEING TREATED LIKE THAT!" "GOD HAS SOMEONE BETTER FOR YOU!" "YOU DESERVE BETTER!" "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT LES BACK?" But what God said was, "Cindy, how many times will I forgive YOU? Do I set a limit - three times and you're out? How far was I willing to go, and how much was I willing to do for YOU?" The Lord asked me...if I wasn't willing to intercede and fight spiritual warfare for Les, then who would? It was as if Les had gotten himself ensnared in a spider's web - and we know that once a victim is caught in one it cannot free itself, but someone could CUT it free! The Lord taught me that intercessory prayer and standing in the authority of Jesus and on the Word of God was what was going to cut Les free from the snare that he was tangled in! God showed me that what the enemy meant for harm, God would use for good. - He's in the salvaging business! - PRAISE GOD! In the natural realm, Les' and my marriage looked totally, hopelessly, destroyed. As I would try to share with others what was really going on and what God was doing, I could see the look in their eyes saying..."Poor Cindy, she just can't face reality! Doesn't she know how much Les doesn't want her anymore? Can't she see how happy Les is now? Doesn't she see how she is building up false hopes in the kids by not facing the truth? Doesn't she realize how arrogant she sounds? She needs to just let go and get on with her life!" But God said that we were on the road of CONSTRUCTION and NOT the road of destruction! When a new, beautifully, smooth, paved highway is constructed, it first went through a time of appearing destroyed. It had to go through that phase to become the beautifully, completed road that now thousands are able to travel upon. We, as Christians, walk by FAITH not by sight, and God was teaching me this firsthand! I remember having to keep the Word of God - which is our shield and buckler - in front of me at all times because the enemy would come in and try to attack me with doubt. I would feel like I was sinking in a hopeless pit and the pain would become almost unbearable until I would SPEAK FORTH WHAT GOD HAD TOLD ME!!! His Word is what got me - us - through!!! God said, "Cindy, if Les was sick and delirious in the hospital and you and the kids went to see him, and he yelled at you, 'GET OUT, I DON'T NEED YOU, I DON'T LOVE YOU, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN,' would you believe him? Would you take the kids and leave and never go back again? No, you would understand that, under the condition that he was in, he didn't know what he was saying. Now he is SPIRITUALLY sick and you are fighting for his ETERNAL healing, and his ETERNAL salvation is first and foremost. Even if you didn't have My promises for marriage, would you still intercede and lay your life down, until he comes back to Me? Are you willing to do that to save his soul from eternal hell?" It wasn't easy; I knew that there wasn't anything more important than to obey what the Father was asking of me. But it was hard; and yet He made it possible because He was my biggest cheerleader! THANK YOU, JESUS!!! My mission was to be willing to serve Jesus NO MATTER WHAT and to fight spiritual warfare for Les' salvation. GOD had the PLAN. HE had the STRATEGY. It was no longer a battle for a marriage as much as it was for a husband's soul! I treated Cindy like dirt during the valley and she would turn the other cheek. I guess it was greed, but I thought that if I got rid of Cindy and the kids, I would have more money. BUT GOD HAD OTHER THINGS IN MIND! Every time that I thought that I would have some money for the strange woman and myself, something would happen! I wrecked my brother's motorcycle, my well went out, my lawnmower's motor blew up. When Cindy found out that I had NO FOOD in the house, and had been eating only plain spaghetti noodles, she brought me some meatloaves and cheesecake. Cindy loved me even though I treated her like dirt. At one point, during the valley, I remember telling Cindy that I didn't know what REAL love was. I had quit attending church and had reached a point where I didn't want anything to do with God. But God will reach down where we are. God used a secular movie to show me that NOBODY would love me like Cindy; NOBODY can raise our kids like Cindy and I, and we needed to be together as a family. I wouldn't go to God, so He came to me! Cindy continued: During my valley experience, a friend sent me an excerpt from a book that she was reading. God used it to encourage me daily, along with His Word. As I would read, "Look not back. Keep thy face toward the sunrise, for He shall rise fresh daily in thy soul with healing in His wings," it was as if God was pouring cool, healing oil over my spirit. I knew God had a work to do in MY life and He was telling me that the sooner I learned what He was trying to teach me, the sooner it would be over and Les would be healed. I had to WAIT, TRUST and BELIEVE and NOT look at what I saw with my eyes, or heard with my ears. I was to look through the Spirit's eyes, and stand on God's Word and see the VICTORY. I learned that what PEOPLE thought and said wasn't important, only what GOD said was! FAITH SEES the promise, SEES the mountain moved, and hears God say YES! Praise God, the divorce never went through and Les has been HEALED and SET FREE!!! When I went through the valley, God made many promises to me and gave me many prophecies that He would fulfill. One of them was that our valley experience would be used to help others and we would stand before people and give our testimony and that the "nations would know". He is truly Faithful, for this has been fulfilled today! ALL GLORY GOES TO GOD!!! CONCLUSION The Lord has used Les & Cindy's testimony - through audio & video tapes, booklets, and website - to reach other hurting people. They have been blessed to be asked, and to share their testimony at speaking engagements and on Christian television. During the valley, when Cindy would get down and self-pity would try to set in, the Lord would speak to her heart that this valley experience was NOT just for Les and her but for others. Others would be helped out of their valley through Les and Cindy's testimony and encouragement. The Lord spoke to Cindy in Ezekiel 36:8, "But ye, O mountains of Israel, ye shall shoot forth your branches, and yield your fruit to my people of Israel; for they are at hand to come." The Lord also revealed to Cindy in Isaiah 61:11 & 62:10 that the "nations" (people), would hear of their valley experience and through this, a standard would be raised and righteousness and praise would come forth. She had no idea how God would accomplish this, especially since Les dislikes traveling. To bring Glory to God and to share His faithfulness - since Les and Cindy spoke, they have received phone calls, e-mails & letters for prayer from across the United States and around the world. Marriages have been healed by the power of God since the valley, and all Glory goes to Him!!! The Lord has led them to call this prayer and encouragement ministry, REPAIRING THE BREACH MARRIAGE MINISTRY. The Lord continues to do a work in their lives by trying to draw them closer to Him everyday. They will be the first to tell you that there is no such thing as a "perfect marriage", but they will also be the first to tell you that they love and respect each other more now than before the valley, and are closer than ever before. ALL PRAISE & GLORY GOES TO GOD!!! QUESTIONS & ANSWERS QUESTIONS ASKED LES Q.: DID YOU THINK OF CINDY AND THE KIDS WHEN YOU WERE WITH THE STRANGE WOMAN? WERE YOU REALLY WISHING YOU COULD BE WITH THEM? A.: When I was deep in the sin, they were the farthest thing from my mind, but as I was coming out of it I started to think more and more about them. After I saw the movie (talked about in the testimony) I realized how much I loved and missed them. Q.: DID YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WERE HEALED? A.: I wondered, until the strange woman called me at work and asked me AGAIN to leave Cindy for her, and I realized that she didn't have any power over me anymore. I told her NO and hung up on her! That's when I knew I was healed, when I didn't run to her like the other times. Q.: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE HEALED? A.: I knew after the phone call. Cindy trusting me, really helped in my healing too. I don't think like I used to. God changed my heart. I only want Cindy. Q.: DID IT TAKE AWHILE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CATHY & LATHAN TO HEAL? A.: I don't think so. I asked them to forgive me and they did. I told them how sorry I was. I'm thankful that they were only 7 & 10 at the time, because I think it was easier for them to forgive me than if they had been older at the time. Q.: MY SPOUSE HAS GUILT; HOW DID YOU OVERCOME IT? A.: I asked God to forgive me of the sins that I did and HE got rid of the guilt. Q.: WHAT DID YOU LEARN THROUGH YOUR VALLEY EXPERIENCE? A.: I learned that when you get married, that is who God has chosen for you. You are more suitable with that person than any other. I know that Cindy is who God made for me. Q.: HOW DID THE VALLEY CHANGE CINDY AS YOUR WIFE? A.: She is more humble, and our roles are in balance. Q.: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER THE MOST ABOUT THE VALLEY? A.: I don't remember it very much or in any detail. I can't believe it happened, but I know it did. I remember the loneliness. Q.: WAS IT HARD TO FACE CINDY'S PARENTS, CHURCH FAMILY, ETC? A.: We didn't go to church right away after the valley. But when we did, everyone was nice to me. I am very thankful that Cindy's parents took care of my family while I was "gone" (I only gave Cindy $60 a week - if that!). Cindy's family made the first move. I remember my father-in-law giving me a hug - after that, I didn't feel nervous. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR SPOUSES STANDING FOR THEIR MATES? A.: KEEP STANDING! I'm glad Cindy stood for me. I know that I would be going to hell, right now, if she hadn't, and we would not be together as a family. QUESTIONS ASKED CATHY & LATHAN Q.: WHAT WAS THE VALLEY LIKE? Cathy: A.: It was a very hard time for me. There were days of being happy & days of being sad. The Lord was the only source that kept me going. Lathan: A.: It was terrible. I just thought that my dad didn't want anything to do with me. Q.: HAVE YOU FORGIVEN YOUR DAD? WAS IT HARD? Cathy: A.: Yes, I have! It wasn't very hard, because God gave me the forgiveness for my dad. He had me see Dad like Jesus would. Lathan: A.: Yes, I have totally forgiven my dad. One day, I talked to him about the anger that I had. He apologized for everything and promised that he would never do it again. Q.: WHAT ENABLED YOU TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE VALLEY? Cathy: A.: Jesus Christ, the Word of God, and my entire family were the only way I was able to make it. The Bible was like a shield to everything that was going on with Dad. Mom told us all the promises that God gave her. She never left us out. We were a part of this warfare and stood with her. Lathan: A.: Prayer, interceding and knowing all the promises that God gave to my mom. Q.: HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE STRANGE WOMAN? DID YOU HAVE HATRED TOWARDS HER? Cathy: A.: I had a lot of hate towards the strange woman. It made me sick to think of her with my dad. The Lord eventually gave me total forgiveness for her. Lathan: A.: I really hated her. I remember walking through our house and seeing all the strange woman's ducks where my mom's stuff had been. Q.: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT THE VALLEY? Cathy: A.: I remember playing with my cousins most of all. My family was always there for me. We were always together, and that helped ease the pain. I thank the Lord for them!! Lathan: A.: I remember not ever knowing if my dad would ever play catch with me again, and also seeing my uncles with their sons made me miss my dad even more. But, I thank God that my grandpa was there for me like a dad. My mom always told us the Scriptures that God gave her. This helped, because this way we knew what was REALLY going on with Dad. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER SONS & DAUGHTERS GOING THROUGH THEIR VALLEY? Cathy: A.: I would tell girls to hang on to Jesus. He is the only way to get through this situation. Reading the Bible is a lifesaver, too; not just reading it, but seeking God through it. He will show you things just like He were sitting there with you! If your family and friends are standing on God's Word and believing with you, never shelter yourself away from them. They can play a big role in your healing. By being around them, God can use them to encourage you and ease your pain! I know what it feels like, so hang on to Jesus! Lathan: A.: Just hang in there. Pray and stand on God's Word. Listen to your parent. QUESTIONS ASKED CINDY Q.: WHAT WAS THE HARDEST PART OF THE VALLEY? A.: The rejection! To this day, when I am ministering to someone on the phone who is hurting, I can feel their pain; that searing, tearing pain. Also, seeing the hatred in Les' eyes and knowing that, at that time, he did not want me. Q.: WHAT SEEMED TO BE THE BIGGEST BATTLES? A.: Not believing what I saw with my eyes or heard with my ears, especially when I'd see the strange woman drive in our drive or see her make-up in my cabinet, etc. But God would let me know that I would sink if I went by what I saw! Also, not allowing self-pity to set in. That would have been THE biggest tool that satan would try against me, because if I started feeling sorry for myself, then my focus would have went from battling for Les to myself - just want the enemy would have wanted! It would have been like a cancer. Q.: HOW DID YOU HANDLE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THE STRANGE WOMAN? A.: ONLY BY GOD'S GRACE!!! He gave me a supernatural love for her. I was able to wrap my arms around her and tell her that I loved her and forgave her for what had happened. I was able to share with her that she truly needed to ask Jesus into her heart and live for Him; he was who she was really longing for in her soul. He would fill the void that she was trying to fill with men. After God got it through to me that it was more of a battle for Les' salvation than our marriage, I had a greater concern for her soul too. Q.: WHAT WERE SOME OF THE BIGGEST FRUSTRATIONS? A.: When people didn't believe God's Word with me. I remember the kids and I going to Wednesday night service the night, of the day, that Les left us. While there, a dear Christian friend (after hearing what had happened) gave me some "counsel". She told me that what I was now going to have to do is to 1.) Put the kids in a public school, and 2.) get out of the house and get a "job". I turned and looked her square in the eye and told her that "I was NOT going to do this the world's way but GOD'S WAY!!!" These were the two exact things that the ENEMY wanted me to do! This is when the Lord told me to stay away from doubters, because they would drag me under. I have no ill feelings for this sister in the Lord. She was truly hurting for me and wanted to help. The Lord only asks of us to walk in the light that HE has shown us. Q.: MY HUSBAND HAS A WILL OF HIS OWN; IT'S HOPELESS! A.: No, it's not hopeless! ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH GOD! (Math. 19:26) Prayer is POWERFUL, especially when you pray GOD'S WORD!!! If intercessory prayer were not able to change the heart of a person, then why do we pray for our unsaved loved ones? We are to pray - BELIEVING! Q.: WHAT WERE YOUR BIGGEST FEARS? A.: Loosing the children. The children and I grew closer during that time than any other. The same tearing, searing pain that I shared about earlier, I also had when the children and I were not together. I would grow weak, spiritually, and the enemy knew it! Which made me easy prey for him. Another fear was T-I-M-E!!! The enemy would try to get me discouraged by telling me that it would be ten, even twenty years that I would be standing. But then God would remind me that I was one day closer TODAY than I was yesterday, and that He already knew the exact day, and that that day could be TODAY!!! Q.: DID THE VALLEY REALLY CHANGE LES? IS HE REALLY HEALED! A.: YES!!! & YES!!! Before the valley, Les was very selfish. Everything was HIS - the house, the car, the TV., etc.. That attitude is totally gone! To him now, it is OURS. Before the valley, in conversation, it was nothing for him to say idly, "Well, if we'd ever divorce..." There was not a FULL commitment to me then. Now he states, "I WANT TO GROW OLD WITH YOU!" Another thing that has changed about Les is that, all our married life, HE COULDN'T STAND FOR ME TO TOUCH HIM!! He'd always get mad when I'd try to hold his hand, stroke his hair, rub his back, etc. HE DIDN'T WANT TOUCHED! Now he loves it when I stroke his hair, rub his back, etc. He still isn't very affectionate in public - but now, he is privately! There is no way that I can put into words the change that has occurred in Les; it's bonds that only the husband and wife can feel between each other. Not only do I know that Les is healed because of the fruit that he bears, but GOD says that he is healed. Q.: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER STANDERS? A.: Keep yourself pure! The enemy might tempt you by bringing someone who "appears" to be Mr. or Miss Perfect. Don't fall for it!! KEEPING PURE IS A WEAPON AGAINST THE ENEMY! Don't play games - Don't try to get revenge - IT WON'T WORK!! You will only play into the hands of the enemy! Let God do it! At the beginning of the valley, I remember sitting and pondering everything. I was getting overwhelmed and thought I was just going to BURST when God, gently, quietly, and calmingly, spoke to me these words: "Why are you fretting? I have it under control; I have it planned out. There aren't any plans or decisions that YOU have to make, I will do it all. You only need to choose to obey or disobey"! Q.: YOU HAD YOUR FAMILY TO STAND WITH YOU, I HAVE NO ONE! A.: Yes, I had my family. It was all new to them also, but they believed God's Word with me. I remember seeing the pain on their faces, for me. They, too, had battles against anger, etc.. - Remember THEY could see too, the activity down at our house from my parent's home. But, they loved Les, loved the Lord and weren't going to let satan have him! They were a BIG blessing to me! But, I have no doubt that if I would have been the only one to stand, then God's grace would have abounded to me to the extent that I would have needed to have been able to be obedient to Him in what He was asking for me to do. He doesn't call us to do something, to set us up for failure! Pray and ask Him to give you a strong, standing, prayer partner - OF THE SAME GENDER!! God will be Faithful! He will either send you one or His Grace will be sufficient. Q.: WELL, YOUR "DIVORCE" DIDN'T GO THROUGH, AND MINE DID, SO HOW CAN YOU UNDERSTAND? A.: As I was standing during the valley, I had no idea how long it would last. In everything that God was asking of me, I had NO idea how long it would take, so the choices of obedience that I was having to make were made with the fear of this taking ten or twenty years. Also, God knows the plan that needs to be accomplished for all involved. Through His Word, He told me that EVERY person that heard of Les' and my situation had a part in God's plan. It was like a ripple in the water as to whom it touched, and God had teachings and lessons for each one! Also, as I shared earlier, God's grace abounds to us for the individual person and what they are going through. As I was spared the pain of a "divorce", God allowed me to experience the pain of DAILY, SEEING and WATCHING the strange woman with my husband, in our home, etc.. For another stander, this might have caused a lot more anger, unforgiveness, nightmares, anxiety, etc.., in which case, God might not call them to this experience. ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT EACH ONE OF US NEED! CINDY'S WALK THROUGH THE WORD THROUGH THE VALLEY 5-31-90 - Les Left. 6-01-90 - Isaiah 37:6b 6-02-90 - Isaiah 58:9-12, Isaiah 57:13-19 6-03-90 - Psalm 91 6-04-90 - Matthew 7:24-27 6-06-90 - Ezekiel 36:22-28, Ezekiel 11:16-20 6- -90 - Ezekiel 36:33-36, Jeremiah 33:6-11, Ezekiel 37:11b-14, Daniel 2:21-23, Exodus 4:11&12, Exodus 4:15b 6-09-90 - Luke 1:17 6-10-90 - Proverbs 10:19&21, Isaiah 49:22-26 7-29-90 - Joel 2:21 7- -90 - Hosea 6:1b-2, Isaiah 47:10-11,Daniel 2:29 8-15-90 - Isaiah 56:1 9-04-90 - Lamentations 3:21-33 9-15-90 - Job 33:14-31 9-16-90 - Lamentations 3:1-20 9-26-90 - Psalm 37:7, Psalm 127:1-2 10-05-90 - Ephesians 5:22-24, Titus 2:4-5,1 Timothy 2:9-14 3-05-91 - Job 34:21-32 3-06-91 - Psalm 27:14 3-09-91 - Isaiah 51:21-23 3-18-91 - Nahum 1:12b&13 3-26-91 - Ezekiel 36:4-11 3-28-91 - Jeremiah 39:17&18 4-08-91 - Isaiah 54:3-17 5-11-91 - Jeremiah 31:27-31, Jeremiah 30:17 5-24-91 - Psalm 102:13 5-25-91 - Ezekiel 12:27-28, Isaiah 40:2 6-13-91 - Isaiah 61:11-62:1-12, Zephaniah 3:20 6-29-91 - Jeremiah 31:9-13 7-06-91 - HOME FOR GOOD!!! THANK YOU, JESUS!!! CINDY'S WALK THROUGH THE WORD THROUGH THE VALLEY 5-31-90 - Les Left. 6-01-90 - Isaiah 37:6b 6-02-90 - Isaiah 58:9-12, Isaiah 57:13-19 6-03-90 - Psalm 91 6-04-90 - Matthew 7:24-27 6-06-90 - Ezekiel 36:22-28, Ezekiel 11:16-20 6- -90 - Ezekiel 36:33-36, Jeremiah 33:6-11, Ezekiel 37:11b-14, Daniel 2:21-23, Exodus 4:11&12, Exodus 4:15b 6-09-90 - Luke 1:17 6-10-90 - Proverbs 10:19&21, Isaiah 49:22-26 7-29-90 - Joel 2:21 7- -90 - Hosea 6:1b-2, Isaiah 47:10-11,Daniel 2:29 8-15-90 - Isaiah 56:1 9-04-90 - Lamentations 3:21-33 9-15-90 - Job 33:14-31 9-16-90 - Lamentations 3:1-20 9-26-90 - Psalm 37:7, Psalm 127:1-2 10-05-90 - Ephesians 5:22-24, Titus 2:4-5,1 Timothy 2:9-14 3-05-91 - Job 34:21-32 3-06-91 - Psalm 27:14 3-09-91 - Isaiah 51:21-23 3-18-91 - Nahum 1:12b&13 3-26-91 - Ezekiel 36:4-11 3-28-91 - Jeremiah 39:17&18 4-08-91 - Isaiah 54:3-17 5-11-91 - Jeremiah 31:27-31, Jeremiah 30:17 5-24-91 - Psalm 102:13 5-25-91 - Ezekiel 12:27-28, Isaiah 40:2 6-13-91 - Isaiah 61:11-62:1-12, Zephaniah 3:20 6-29-91 - Jeremiah 31:9-13 7-06-91 - HOME FOR GOOD!!! THANK YOU, JESUS!!! Used with Permission